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https://forum.iomfats.org/
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76500/#msg_76500
timmy2020-01-26T00:17:06-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76502/#msg_76502
Teddy2020-01-28T03:03:40-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76503/#msg_76503
"Teddy wrote on Tue, 28 January 2020 03:03"
In my opinion, it's a matter of lust; the appeal to dominate or be dominated then move on to the next encounter and do it all over again with fresh meat. Not my scene! LOL
--
I quite like the concept of being dominated. After all, the one being dominated has all the real power in the relationship by allowing it. But I'm not at all keen on the concept of irreperably damaging faecal continence. There's not a lot wrong with a quick, hard fuck, but inserting things of substantially greater girth than a human penis seems bizarre.]]>timmy2020-01-28T08:00:17-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76505/#msg_76505
luvtwinks2020-01-28T23:34:48-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76512/#msg_76512
Bensiamin2020-01-29T20:59:00-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76515/#msg_76515
"timmy wrote on Tue, 28 January 2020 00:00"
timmy wrote on Tue, 28 January 2020 00:00
I quite like the concept of being dominated. After all, the one being dominated has all the real power in the relationship by allowing it.
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I guess there's domination then there's domination.
Bensaimin's desire for no visual aids aside, I've a friend who just loves to be fisted. Even asked me to do it to/for him. Another acquaintence who owns a dildo with about a 4.5 inch girth and 18 inches in length that he tries to find people to use on him. "Make it hurt!" he says...
That's one form...
Then there's what you're talking about, Tim. Somehow I don't see them as being equal, nor, I suspect, do you. Like you, I don't get it but to each their own, I suppose.]]>Teddy2020-01-30T03:33:04-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76545/#msg_76545
American_Alex2020-02-16T20:22:38-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76546/#msg_76546
"American_Alex wrote on Sun, 16 February 2020 20:22"
I would welcome input from a professional psychologist, but from what I've learned from psychology and from life in general is this: Domination fantasies are often rooted in personal feelings of unwortiness. Whether as a reaction to internalized homophobia, or as a reaction to physical or sexual abuse, engaging in domination fulfills either a need to relive extreme feelings (which sometimes can include an element of pleasure within), or as a form of self-punishment for percieved lack of personal worth. Whether a person involves themselves in domination fantasies either for pleasure or for self-abuse, it is something rooted in the negative rather than the positive.
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I think I just rather like the idea of handing over control even though I know it to be role play. Different strokes, I guess]]>timmy2020-02-16T22:47:56-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76566/#msg_76566
"Bensiamin wrote on Wed, 29 January 2020 15:59"
I remember reading a medical piece on anal intercourse a few years ago, that framed it up with a memoralble visual image: nothing larger than the largest turd one's ever passed. The point really was that the anal sphincter has surprising ability to dilate and contract! I think I'll forgo the visual aids on this one!
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It's worth remembering that the anal sphincter is a muscle. Like all muscles, it can be stretched. Just as the flexibility of a good gymnast doesn't come at the expense of normal use of the muscles, stretching of the anal sphincter needn't compromise its normal function. Having said that, I will have to admit that I find some of the extreme examples that I've seen online somewhat baffling. (I don't think the one I ran across who was showing off his ability to insert an eggplant was trying to attract possible tops. I got the distinct impression that it was more a matter of showing off an extreme ability.)
Of course, just as improperly performed stretching exercises can damage muscles elsewhere in the body, overly ambitious stretching of a sphincter can doubtless produce entirely undesirable results.]]>dgt2242020-02-26T07:50:52-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76567/#msg_76567
"timmy wrote on Sun, 16 February 2020 14:47"
I think I just rather like the idea of handing over control even though I know it to be role play. Different strokes, I guess
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For me, as far as bottoming goes, it's the incredibly and attractively erotic idea of giving myself totally and completely to another man to take his sexual pleasure in me. And yeah, I want him to be a skilled and consumate lover also. I don't want to just lay there getting fucked. I want him to not only take his pleasure in and from me but know how to return the pleasure while he's doing it.]]>Teddy2020-02-26T19:41:44-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/76576/#msg_76576
Paul Schroder2020-03-05T03:01:34-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77630/#msg_77630
I won't inquire as to the lapse in interest, but will point to a very insightful article by Thomas West on the psychology of being a bottom and the implicit assumptions about tops and bottoms that he contends we all bring to male-on-male sexual relations.
I'm betting this will revitalize the comments!
It's titled What I Learned From Teaching My Straight Friends About Gay Sex, and you can link to the Medium article here.]]>Bensiamin2021-02-27T17:19:16-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77631/#msg_77631
"Bensiamin wrote on Sat, 27 February 2021 17:19"
This forum string about tight bottoms, and being a bottom in general, hasn't seen a post in almost a year!
I won't inquire as to the lapse in interest, but will point to a very insightful article by Thomas West on the psychology of being a bottom and the implicit assumptions about tops and bottoms that he contends we all bring to male-on-male sexual relations.
I'm betting this will revitalize the comments!
It's titled What I Learned From Teaching My Straight Friends About Gay Sex, and you can link to the Medium article here.
--
As I read the article I wondered about the self image of the author. I also wondered if he is typical of what a bottom might be. I am pretty sure he is not, because tops and bottoms must, surely, have the same spread of masculinity and other attributes that all men do.
Receiving another man's penis into a body orifice is, to me, nothing whatsoever to do with masculinity. It's to do with taking pleasure with (not from, with) another man and knowing with clarity who will do what and with which and to whom. And it's also understanding how much power is shared by each participant.
I postulate that the bottom has 90% of the power. He permits the top to enter him and permits the continuation of the coupling. That is neither submissive nor dominant. It just 'is'.
I'm a natural bottom. I have alwasy known this even with no experience. I'm not feminine. I'm all boy.
Being penetrated is nothing to do with accepting a feminine role. I thought, once, that it did. "I'll be a girl for hm..."
But, going back to my opening post, I sure do not want my arse "wrecked" by a careless penetration!]]>timmy2021-02-27T21:01:06-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77633/#msg_77633
ray2x2021-03-03T05:44:22-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77635/#msg_77635
"ray2x wrote on Wed, 03 March 2021 05:44"
My experience with anal was quite unpleasant...although that my found boyfriend was totally in love with me still couldn't make it any better...I wasn't quite the bottom he'd hoped for but I guess that's life...
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Not everything works for everyone. Would you care to share what difficulties you had? It will help someone else either say 'no thanks, not for me', or work out how it might be different for them?]]>timmy2021-03-03T07:36:41-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77638/#msg_77638
"timmy wrote on Tue, 02 March 2021 23:36"
"ray2x wrote on Wed, 03 March 2021 05:44"
My experience with anal was quite unpleasant...although that my found boyfriend was totally in love with me still couldn't make it any better...I wasn't quite the bottom he'd hoped for but I guess that's life...
--
Not everything works for everyone. Would you care to share what difficulties you had? It will help someone else either say 'no thanks, not for me', or work out how it might be different for them?
--I was totally inexperienced with gay sex, or sex in general. There was no gay pride, liberation, blogs, story sites, chats, and so on. I didn't quite understand that I had gay feelings. So come the moment I was at when my boyfriend suddenly began to insert his penis, I was totally unprepared for what was about to occur. Naturally the pain was intense and I was not expecting pain. I would have help if he asked me first and sort of prepared me. And even with the myriad gay themed media about, there could still be a "me" out there sort of clueless about things gay and especially gay sex. I was not putting the pieces of what was occuring in my life that could have alerted me to my feelings, like always wanting to be with my friend, attached at the hip, looking at boys more than girls et cetera. Almost like the stories we've read. I just felt it was a normal way a boy would feel for another boy, and not in a gay or sexual way. But again, that was me at that time.]]>ray2x2021-03-03T23:40:38-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77640/#msg_77640
Sex/Health Info segment of the site. The inspiration for it came many years ago with a couple who wanted to achieve anal penetration, either to the other, but found immense barriers to entry, literally. I have not spoken to them for a long while, but I believe they are still together and happy with their love lives. They took the patient approach and gained entry.]]>timmy2021-03-03T23:56:22-00:00Re: If a top likes a bottom to be tight....
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9328/77641/#msg_77641
Teddy2021-03-04T00:23:05-00:00