A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > in put wanted
icon5.gif in put wanted  [message #4428] Tue, 17 September 2002 20:32 Go to next message
Guest is currently offline  Guest

On fire!

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344



ok to make a long story really really short my dad passed away in may of this year....no love loss on my part or his so please dont tell me how bad you feel cause i sure dont feel bad. boy does that sound snotty....SORRY

well since his death i recived a letter from a lawer that is handling his will and estate with totals like 1.5 minnion dollars. in the letter was a release that if i signed would give the total estate to my sister and cut the rest of the family out totally.
i refused to sign it for 3 reasons...
1) by doing do i would allow my sister to get everything and leave nothing to any of my nephews who deserve some thing just for being related to my dad.
2) my sister having total controll has proven in the past that all she is concerned about is what she is going to gain out of any situation....IE i paid for my moms funeral.
3) the sneaky way she has gone about doing this, ig she or any of the family would have come to me about this befor i got the letter in the mail i might have just signed it and moved on with my life.

ok now comes you folks.....am i being totally childish about htis situation or am i not?

note: i personally do not and will not accept a single dime of his money or anything else of his.

your turn.

peace
tim...of USA
icon14.gif Not sure how much valid stuff I can add here, but...  [message #4432 is a reply to message #4428] Wed, 18 September 2002 00:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
lenny is currently offline  lenny

On fire!
Location: Far Away
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 1755




...As long as you don't refuse to sign just to spite your sister I can't say you seem to be acting childish. No, the contrary seems a lot more probable, since you're looking out for your other relatives' interests while refusing any money on your own behalf. Why would you think you're being childish?

So that's my $.05. My opinions probably aren't worth any more than that anyway, but hey, you asked for 'em! Smile


-Lenny



"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
icon12.gif Re: in put wanted  [message #4433 is a reply to message #4428] Wed, 18 September 2002 00:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
theeggman is currently offline  theeggman

Getting started
Location: DE, USA
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 27



Since I know the kind of relationship you're referring to far too intimately myself, I don't believe it's childish in the least either. My own sister has zapped me on a few occasions too. Maybe your sister will wake up and smell the coffee? Good luck, dude.
Re: in put wanted  [message #4435 is a reply to message #4428] Wed, 18 September 2002 00:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kevin is currently offline  kevin

On fire!
Location: Somewhere
Registered: September 2002
Messages: 1108




Hi Tim,

I cannot make a judgement on what you wrote. I can only tell you that these things can be messy and mean. I say this from personal experience. Every situation seems to be unique. You may be the best judge of your own morality. You will be able to judge right from wrong. But you may not be able to be objective. Is their anyone you trust that knows both sides? Just to bounce your thoughts off of?

Otherwise, all I can say is try to step back and see both sides. If your sister is as you say, then stick to your guns. But ...... and I do not want this taken wrong ..... you mentioned your nephews, will you be fighting on their behalf or yours.

Remember, either may be the right thing to do.

But be true to yourself, and all will work out. If you were wronged bay another, or if someone else was, stand up for what is right.

I hope the best for you.

As for my Grandfathers estate, I was screwed, but I wanted to avoid a bitter fight.

Lots of luck,
Kevin



"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
Just a couple of questions ...  [message #4440 is a reply to message #4428] Wed, 18 September 2002 02:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
warren c. e. austin is currently offline  warren c. e. austin

Likes it here
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247



I've been through more of these situations than I truly care to remember, either as holder of "Powers of Attorney" or Executor respecting many life-long friends who have pre-decesed me, with family who neither wanted to know them when alive or cared to acknowledge their passage until questions about their estates arose.

Let's be clear about a few things here.

1) Whose lawyer sent you the "release" - your father's or your sister's?

Firstly, if your father's, were any provisions made in his will respecting immediate and other family, or did he die intestate? I don't want specifics, just whether such relief is documented, or not.

Secondly, regardless of their being a will, or not, his primary domicile - vis à vis - his place of residence for the purposes of where he declared and paid his taxes has a bearing on how you respond. From comments you've made in prior "posts", I know you reside somwhere in the Great Lakes area of the North-central U. S., but did your father? Many, but not all State Governments have enacted legislation to prevent this type of shake-down. The State where he nominally resided may very well be one of these, and I urge you to consult the Public Trustee at the State Government level for advice in this matter. This will not cost you anything, and they may well be able to provide the safeguards for other family that you desire.

2) Additionally, before signing anything take legal advise from a practitioner versed in both the Estate and Criminal Law of the State where jurisdiction resides. This could well save you further grief in the event you do consent to the release, and others attempt to pursue you, after the fact for having done so.

Warren C. E. Austin
Very little to add to Warren's advice, except  [message #4445 is a reply to message #4428] Wed, 18 September 2002 08:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



It is amazing what even a small sum of money can do to help abused kids.

You may not want it, but it could pass through your hands to help some of them. Aim for "your" share and use it in a way that brings happiness to unhappy faces.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
thanks so far......also note.....  [message #4447 is a reply to message #4445] Wed, 18 September 2002 10:46 Go to previous message
Guest is currently offline  Guest

On fire!

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344



i have my lawer on the case his office has been on it since like 15 seconds after i got the letter. legaly my butt is so covered it wont see day light for years....hehehe

also the truly odd part is that my dada had a will dated back in 1987 but all of a sudden since my sister got all chummy with my dad (as he died of cancer and was druged beyond beliefe) there happenes to be another will drawn up by my sisters lawer. i guees thats what has me really pissed.


i love your idea timmy i just may have my legal begel work out some trust or something so anything that might come my way go to the local gay youth groups....god that would so piss off my dad.....hehehe


peace
tim...of USA
Previous Topic: I don't know whether to be flattered or angry
Next Topic: We have another new author
Goto Forum: