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The more I get to "know" each of you that contribute here, the more I wonder how you all came to be here.
You each seem to be people that like, many I admire, and all people I would be proud to call my friends. In some cases, these words would not do my feelings justice.
You have all helped me (and others) so much. You may never understand the depth of that assistance, but I can tell you that in my case it could be called life-saving. That might sound a bit dramatic, but it's not far off the mark.
I found this site from a search engine in Germany, where I lived at the time. I put it on my favorite list just to check it out later because I was on the run for work. One thing led to another. I wasn't much a talker back then, but I was out there.
So how did so many wonderful people come to be in this one place?
It an amazing thing that your all here.
Curious Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Four years ago I was surfing the net, realising at 46 years old that I was a gay man, and not yet daring to use the words. I'd concealed them for 33 years, even from myself, despite knowing I was uninterested in female lovemaking etc.
I happened upon Comicality's site through Nifty. I happened on other places too. I even, in desperation, write to authors to try to find a human being to talk to. Some wrote back, others failed.
I found Comicality's site and messageboard, and dared to talk to him and post on his board, and he encouraged me to write a story. The first chapter of Chris and Nigel was written, and I do not think it to be a great work of literature, just that of a kid trying so hard to express himself at last. That was in February, nearly four years ago.
I threw a site together at Geoshitties to showcase the story and to put my own agony there in my life story.
The reason? Vanity about doing my first ever piece of creative writing, and to scream to the world about the perceived injustices in my life.
But that is just the reason for the site.
The messageboard arrived because Comicality's board changed character to a character I find personally awkward. I think it was just over two years ago I created the forerunner to this board, just before "insidetheweb" who provided boards went bust. And it took ages to gain a sense of community. "A board too far" I thought.
But it isn't. It has a group of people who, whatever their demeanour in life, post gentle and thoughtful posts, and argue deep topics without rancour. It allows anyone who is seeking to find at least an answer.
That is why I am here. I needed a place to do that myself, and no other place provided it without those needing help being hijacked by the potentially insane.
I still need that help. Those of you who know me at a deeper level will see easily that I attempt to give help to others because that act helps me heal myself. And, for me, it works.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well, like I had mentioned earlier, I've been curious about my identity for the majority of the last 4-5 years. I liked girls, I fantasized about boys, but I still dated girls... However, within the past 3 weeks, thanks to Conor, I've been more in tune with my "gay" side, I suppose you could say. I just had that overwhelming feel of attraction for him that's been stronger than any attraction I can remember recently...for a guy OR a girl, to be honest.
But, I was real curious about how to tell if he liked me or not (in the way that I did of course  ), so I jumped on Google and typed in a few things, but nothing to my liking. And, then, if I remember right, I think I was looking up sites of gay teens, hoping I might find some insight there, but scattered throughout all the porn sites in the list, there wasn't much.
I forget how exactly I ended up in a webring, but I did, and saw the link for "It's Only Me From Across The Sea" (which I thought sounded really cute ), got into the main page, and noticed there were stories on the site. I read a few of the short stories by Timmy to start off, and I knew this was the place for me. I really enjoyed stories like this, but these stories were the best I've ever seen. I truly felt I could put myself in the main character's place (and Conor in one instance too  ).
Anyway, I favorite placed it, just like you, Kevin, and I kept on reading every day. I was so anxious to get home and read some days. But, I was on the stories index page one day, and I saw the link to the messageboard, so I thought this would be a good chance for me to get my question answered.
And I've been here ever since. Boy, am I glad I clicked that link.
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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I am glad your here too. Thanks for sharing. I got caught up in the stories too, then I stayed just like you.
Good luck, I hope the best for you.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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brought me here. I have always liked writing, but never really enjoyed writing fiction. I had tried several times without success. Last January I decided to try again and wrote a considerable amount of a story that really wasn't going anywhere, though I liked what I was writing. I started visiting some of the author sites of stories I had read on Nifty. Eventually I visited this one. When I discovered the message board and read some of the messages, I couldn't help but reply. This really seemed like a place where I might fit in and the people cared about each other. A short while later I gave up on the longer story and wrote a short piece that was more truth than fiction. I sent it to timmy. It really wasn't very good and timmy was very kind in his reply. I could have given up, but didn't. Instead I wrote the first chapter of what has become Into the Lion's Den. timmy liked it enough to offer to host it.
I not only found a place where I could actually be myself and belong, but I had found a place where I could share my writing and innermost thoughts and feelings. I have always been afraid to be me, but here I don't have to be afraid.
BTW - that first story I sent to timmy that wasn't much good became the basis for the chapter of Lion's Den called Joey's Story. The relationship between Joey and Van parallels the relationship between myself and my best friend, except that Joey tries to kill himself and my best friend and I eventually worked things out.
Anyhow, that's how I got here and why I stayed.
Think good thoughts,
e
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the scholar
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Toe is in the water |
Location: England
Registered: August 2002
Messages: 59
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Like e, I discovered the site through Chris and Nigel - I love those two guys and I sent an email to timmy to let him know how much I had enjoyed reading this story. It containeda great deal of human emotion with which I could identify and I felt that I had to express to the author how much I admired the honesty within his words.
I had written a couple of stories myself, which my partner sent to timmy who, unbeknown to me at the time, hosted. I was shocked to think anyone would want to read anything that I had written, but my "Paul and Simon" stories have received a positive response and I felt proud to be part of the group.
My pride in my new friends was to grow when I went through a recent health scare. The support shown to me at that time was enormous and I will never be able to thank everyone enough. Without "Chris and Nigel" I would never have found such a terrific team of individuals and would have gone absolutely insane without their support - so I don't think your description of "life saving" is dramatic at all.
TS
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No Message Body
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Someone's got to read my stories.
Seriously though, I am grateful to you and everyone else. Not just because of the WONDERFUL things everyone has said about my story, but mostly because of the help, advice, and sense of community. This place wouldn't be the same without any one of you.
Think good thoughts,
e
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Speakign of reading your stories (wich are WODERFUL). Any chance of part 9?
Just curious.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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the scholar
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Toe is in the water |
Location: England
Registered: August 2002
Messages: 59
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Huge hugs, Kevin.
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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I'm working on it, but the boys are takin' their time with lettin' me know what their up to.
Think good thoughts,
e
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futilis1
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 8
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timmy were you part of "TBA" in '99 ? I belive thats where I frist saw the name IOMFATS.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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The domain teenboyauthors.org has a sad history. It was donated, as was server space, by a benefactor, who hosted it on a webserver belonging to a commercial gay porn site. I think thsi was wthout their knowledge, since he was their webmaster, may still be their webmaster. He offered it to me, and I declined to be the registered owner, buthe and I worked togetehr as frineds to invite deserving sites to be hosted there. In fact mine was not the first to join. That honour belonged to The Eggman. I think I moved there second.
There followed many happy months of site building, messageboard creation, mailing list creation and much else thatnks to the good offices of the then webmaster.
Something then happened which brought the whole thing crashing down about our ears. many people have different opinions about what it was, but I suspect the real reason is that we, all the sites there, were using a vast amount of bandwidth that was suddenly affecting the commercial host. In addition we were free sites, and this was thus competition. I had one day where I had just under 2,000 visitors through the entry page, and many, many more visitors who had arrived directly into the site through the back door. It was the day after that when the thing was collapsed.
I think it is likley that the webmaster, our benefactor, had exceeded his authority with the web host, and was in danger of losing hois contract with them.. That is a shame, but instead of saying "Help, guys, I'm in trouble" when we would all have understood, he reacted "oddly" and caused both panic and unpleasantness, and much bad feeling was created. Some of those involved will never speak to each other again.
A good thing to come out of this has been The Gay Writers' Guild. Out of all disasters some hope springs.
Often, when this is mentioned, the bad feeling restarts. I very much hope that will not happen either in this thread, or on this board.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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futilis1
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 8
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I didn't bring it up for hard feelings. Just as a way to let you know I've been around for a while. I won't bring it up again.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Is fine. I know you did not. It's a topic I'm happy to discuss, but is one where accusations start flying very easily. A number of people got hurt, and some unpleasant threats were made of physical violence. For that reason it's an episode best remembered, since it appears that actually not everyone IS nice. I achieved being labelled as the villain of the piece, too.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I know why i'm here, I know why i stay, but not sure how to tell everyone. I don't post much, I like the real time stuff, chat rooms, instant messages, etc.. (It feels like friends talking.) As for why i stay, because right now my best friend runs the place. (yes tim, tears again while writing this) I read the posts everyday, but just don't feel right replying.
As for what brought me here, simple, C & N. Reading that brought me out of my little world i was stuck in for many years. With that, i must apologise to the other authors here, i still haven't been able to read anything else (even yours tim). Nothing seems to interest me, as far as stories, tried, but just can't get into them, and loose interest.
Tim, if there is anything to add to this, please feel free, or let me know. (just not sure what else to say)
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Rewind time up until circa january 20th, 2002... I was scanning one of the gay newsgroups for any noteworthy reading material. Mostly there's only spam at such places, but I had no idea where to look anyway so I still browsed the group.
I much prefer a story that has a story to it, and I didn't really find what I was looking for there. Most stuff amongst the porn was too blunt for me, too direct. Then I stumbled upon a post that amongst other things went, "what's the address to the nifty archive? I've lost it.", and someone replied.
I thought that maybe that was something worth checking out. The name itself meant nothing to me, I had no idea what was archived there at all (except the context of the original post implied stories).
I started exploring this vast resource, and checked out stuff more or less randomly. I don't remember in which order things happened, but I found a story that was titled "Robin", plain and simple. I was hooked.
In the second episode, there was a short notice about some webring, and an address. iomfats.org. I was greeted by a pink background and a curious font which I'd never seen used on a webpage before... (But I actually found another one not too long ago, heh heh!)
I had a quick look-around, reading some of the bio for example, not all of it because I was scared of what might follow when the rest of the page auto-loaded, and then the "my stories" link.
Even before reading anything there, I hit the Sigur Rós video link. Of course I had to click it, even though I was very wary of a band with such a weird name, not to mention the name of the song itself - unpronouncable! Well, I clicked it.
That can either be seen as my greatest mistake or my greatest success. I can't attribute one single action, either before or after, that brought so much change for me in my entire life (just over 30 1/2 years). In the short term it was total disaster for me. The poetic imagery of those two utterly beuatiful Icelandic boys falling in love with each other, combined with the bitter-sweet music loaded with strings and all that totally screwed up what little remained of my life. Everything went ka-poof and I ended up writing a rambling and incoherent email to some unknown iomfats person where I revealed things I've never told anyone else before.
Well, I got a short but friendly reply, inviting me to this here message board. I did nothing for a few days, I don't remember how long. Maybe a week. Then I made my first post...
Many small events interacting to lead to this point, rather weird when you think of it! Break just one of those links, and none of it would have happened. Hadn't I read that nifty post in the newsgroup, or the Robin story at Nifty, or if I hadn't had broadband I wouldn't have watched that video. Everything worked together in a most curious way.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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How did I get here? About three years ago someone persuaded me, in my loneliness, to post on another board, telling much about myself. I got a response from one person which began something like this: "that's one hell of an email address!" That person was Tim (sorry, timmy) and we got chatting, found that we had a lot in common and that we got on well together "virtually". He invited me to visit his board and I have been here ever since. Like everyone else I fell in love with his saga, and with many of his short stories. (He recently reminded me that the story for which he has just got the award was prompted by an original comment by me: so near to fame!)
What keeps me here? First and foremost Tim (sorry, timmy). He has a most warm and caring character: you can't help loving him and caring for what happens to him. Then there is everyone else. I find that the level of discussion and interest on this MB is more mature than on others and I am - ahem - er - er - er - ahem, more mature; you might even say 'over-matured'. Even the younger people who participate (thank God) have the most interesting things to say.
Enough. I'm getting maudlin.
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Each of you seem to have so much to contribute to this world.
Perhaps I am not giving enough credit to our host. His contibution is, it should be noted, having the caring and compassion that keeps us coming back (or drew us here in the first place).
I hold all of you, and especially Tim, in the highest esteem.
Without getting to mushy ....
Thanks for being you.
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I am here because of TIm. It is no secret I call him Dad and it is because he is LIKE one and has a heart of gold and also, is an Iron fist in a velvet Glove.
I wont bore you all with my past or the bad bits along the way but, suffice to say that Tim made a stand and removed his pics he had on his original site because of ME. If that doesnt tell you something of the MAN then, I guess you either have no emotional content or are from the planet Venus?
The other guys that post here are some my friends and some, will hopefully be some day soon? Never met a person I didnt like. Still havent from here either.
People have a habit of changing your direction through life
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No Message Body
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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I am curious about the make up of the people here ...... 
I guess you have Conor to thank on this one... 
Chris and Nigel 
Re: I am curious about the make up of the people here ...... 
The Ashley Connection.. 
