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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Taboo? Desirable? Undesirable? Will penetrate but not be penetrated? Prefer only to be penetrated? Don't want to try it? Can't wait?
What is it about insertion of a body part into another body part that causes such issues?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Having asked the question I thought I ought to answer for myself. or,"but enough about you, let's talk about me!"
For me it is highly desirable. I see no taboo, no lack of desire, just common sense issues about hygiene. I am not into poop in any way!
I came to desire being penetrated for two reasons, one practical and the other emotional.
Practical: My damaged foreskin tip would not relax and withdraw. Penetrating another would have been painful, though not impossible. I prefer pleasure to pain, and I had already discovered my prostate. In those days I could even reach it with my fingers!
Emotional: The boy I loved was likely not to want to be buggered! In order to even consider us making love I chose to be a bottom, though I had no idea of the term then. I wanted, in all senses of the word, to give myself to him. Emotional needs tranferred to looking forward to physical delight.
To me the whole thing is natural. I have a collection of dildos to simulate the real thing, something I fondly imagine to be even better because it has an emotional connection too.
I don't mind at all the idea of penetrating someone else, it just isn't my personal ideal outcome.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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[Updated on: Sun, 24 August 2008 12:25]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc wrote:
It's too freaking early on a Sunday morning for this. Can we wait until I have my coffee?
Marc, no one required of you to respond to that post. You could have waited until later in the day to give your reasoned response. I hope that by now you have enjoyed your early morning coffee.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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But surely a morning glory on a Sunday before coffee is what love and a sexually fulfilling relationship are all about?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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[Updated on: Sun, 24 August 2008 17:19]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Never experienced either, but as for doing the penetrating I don't think I could get a strong enough erection. And as for being penetrated the idea just does not appeal that much. I did get an Aneros prostate massager a while back to experiment a bit but it didn't do anything for me.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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 I do!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Nope. I don't have a sense of humor. Sorry.
But I do have a sense of humour.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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In this country it is HUMOR.
I won't bother you again.
[Updated on: Sun, 24 August 2008 17:20]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Who is it now who doesn't have a sense of humour?
Over and out. ;-D
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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[Updated on: Sun, 24 August 2008 17:20]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Ok, we've established that US humor does not seem to be Israeli humour and vice versa. Now, boys, both please give it a break.
[Updated on: Sun, 24 August 2008 15:49]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I have no idea whether I'm a 'top' or a 'bottom'. I am certainly attracted by a pleasing pair of buttocks -- though I'm not quite sure what attracts me, as it's not the anus per se. I suspect it is the same thing that attracts straight men to a woman's cleavage, which may itself be simply a buttocks-substitute.
Whether or not I feel any urge to penetrate or be penetrated depends on the individual. With some individuals I feel I could be a top; with others (fewer, but a not insignificant number) I could imagine myself as a bottom. But it's all theoretical and I don't know what would happen if I had actual anal sex with someone. I would like to try it, provided that it's safe and I and the other person are free to abort at any time, for any reason.
Timmy, I don't think it's "the insertion of a body part into another body part" that causes issues, but the fact that many people cannot get past the "the anus is for excretion" part -- not to mention the increased likelihood of catching disease with unprotected anal sex over vaginal or oral sex. Even among many gay men, I understand. I feel anxious for the same reason, though in my case I plan to try it at least once, and of course I can't knock it until I've tried it.
David
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The first time I had anal sex was at 12 and bottom, I am versatile, but the feelings I get both emotionally and physically, i.e. the feeling of oneness and the better orgasm have me tending toward bottom.
As others have said I think it's the whole poo issue that most have to get past, but LOL at twelve that's not such a biggy I guess, though I can remember any of my partners being particularly dirty. Maybe that has something to do with coming from the south and spending so much time in at the swimming pool.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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Deeej wrote:
> I am certainly attracted by a pleasing pair of buttocks -- though I'm not quite sure what attracts me...
I've often wondered about buttocks. It's the "pleasing" part that is the key. There's not just the enormous variety (read that carefully!) of male buttockage, there's also the female buttockage, almost even wider in variety.
It's worth a different thread except there's a danger of buttock posting that might get us into age related trouble.
Just what is 'pleasing'?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I have buggered three or four people. I don't think it was particularly special. Arseholes are too tight!
I did want to see what it was like and I once sat on Peter but he wasn't enthusiastic and it takes two to tango.
In short my experiments were nothing to write home about.
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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That's interesting. Anal sex has long been prized by heterosexual men because it gives greater grip than vaginal sex.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Anthony, just the way you say it make it seem, well, degrading, cold, LOL I mean yuk. Yikes 
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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I think it's the word 'bugger'. I used it on purpose in my own post because I was sure that is how the unrequited love of my life would have perceived it. But it does have a coldness about it, just like the word 'fuck'.
Odd, is it not, how each word can also be used with tenderness, yet, when we see it in print, it mostly looks blunt.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear arich and Timmy,
Interesting how the way I feel about it comes over to you in the tone of the words. Yet a word's overtones change. Dr Johnson's dictionary defined 'bugger' as 'a term of endearment among sailors'! In those days the cold clinicality of it hadn't arrived.
But in my young days there was another overtone - that of domination and being dominated. I'm sure that the people I buggered wanted to be demeaned by the act (and I didn't want that - just another reason for not being too keen on it). I almost wrote 'defiled'. It would have taken a long time of committed loving before anal intercourse could have felt to be a loving, rather than a sexual act. And of course the overtones are there with fucking too and the difference between rape and making love isn't one of what goes where - it's just in how you do it.
Love,
Anthony
[Updated on: Mon, 25 August 2008 08:32] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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It's strange how we each perceive it. My age group of giggling little boys presumed that one queer was the girl and the other the boy. Note the word 'queer'. No-one considered themselves to be the girl.
While desiring totally to be possessed by the one boy I desired above life itself, I would never have felt defiled nor demeaned by his penetrating me. For me it was to be an act of total commitment, the act of giving my soul to him, of allowing him to be inside my body and my heart.
I was not even concerned about whether it would be painful (I was the one who whittled an oversized dildo in my teens and discovered that it was not initially the most pain free act I could perform!). If there was to be pain, I wanted HIM to be the one to cause it. If it was to be pain free I wanted HIM to be the one whose face I saw while he pounded into me with sweat pouring down his chest.
I never even considered it to be anything less than an act of love.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I have to agree social historical perspective has a great deal to do with our perspective, not to mention context of the word being used.
Words used in the moment as apposed to being descriptive come in to play. I would have no trouble with a lover saying "I want to bugger you or fuck you till your eyes roll back in your head" in the heat of the moment... ::-)
I was really lucky all things being considered, I came of age right at the time of the beginning of the counterculture movement. My first couple of encounters were purely mutual experimental endeavor. What was really cool is you wouldn't believe how fast the "free love" thing spead among my crowd of 13 yos! We really did try to be loving, heheh well as loving as horny teenie boppers could manage... I was with a couple of boys that were in it for the domination aspect, they ended up being one offs, and I realized fairly quickly that they were that way because of their own insecurity.
Like I say, over all I was pretty lucky LOL and that was just in jr high school , things got really crazy by sr high... 
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy wrote:
(snip)
> I never even considered it to be anything less than an act of love.
For me, that's the key. Being a bottom for anal sex is ultimately about giving my body and myself to someone I care deeply about, and trusting them to do their best to make it good for both of us. I greatly prefer positions that keep us face-to-face. It feels good physically with the right person - though I usually lose my erection, but the emotional connection is much more important.
I've only "topped" half-a-dozen times in my life, though there have been a couple of people who, IF I had gone on to develop sexual relationship with, it would have felt natural for me to top a lot more frequently.
Back in the long-ago days when I had casual sex, anal was never an option. For me, it carries a massive emotional overtone, and only works in the context of a committed relationship.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I wouldn't want to put my finger up someone else's nose...
Shit stinks. And is slimy.
People generally have an aversion to slimy things.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13750
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I wonder if you would elaborate a little on your bullet point styled theme?
I'm not entirely sure what the nose has to do with it. There are, so far as I know, no erogenous zones in the nose or we'd have nasal sex!
When correct hygiene is deployed the probability of coming into contact with faecal matter is low. Bowel contents are not stored right at the anal sphinctre, but at a distance inside and round a bend (unless one is overly full, of course).
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Sorry, I was replying to the question:
"What is it about insertion of a body part into another body part that causes such issues?"
As I said, the insertion of one body part (the finger) into another body part (the nose) is quite disgusting. If it were a sexually stimulating act I can imagine there would be similar quandaries in deciding who catches, whether or not it is done, etc, etc.
I guess "slimy" and "smelly" is only half of it. I know that anal sex is still usually clean, but it can still be an off putting thought at times. We usually shower first and always after.
The other half of the anal sex dilemma isn't so much the anal sex dilemma as the homosex dilemma- power and "who is top". I know you disagree that power roles and sex roles are correlated; but I believe there is some link. "Will penetrate but not be penetrated" seems as much about power as it is about pleasure or hygiene.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Fingolfin
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Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
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I have always been fond of beautiful faces and slim bodies, you know, those athletic types.
Bums just add to the cuteness of legs.
Top or bottom? I have never tried... Anal sex is something that is not much tempting for me. However, a right and trustworthy partner may persuade me one day, then, I would probably choose top. But still I'm not quite sure.
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
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