|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
We have the most gorgeous paper boy. He delivers the evening midweek paper. He has a shock of blond hair, a cute face, and wears three quarter length trousers and T shirts. He's just the type of boy I'd have fallen in lust with at his age.
I would guess he is about 15/16, and totally unapproachable. And what would I say if I approached him anyway? I want to look, to drink in his beauty, not to touch him. I can't offer him a garden job without being a dirty old man. I can't befriend him because I just can't. I can't do any of the things I could do if I were 15/16 too.
But seeing him delivering papers does cheer up my midweek evenings.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
 |
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:42] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Michael,
I heard of a question asked of an Indian on the banks of the Ganges. "Why do you weep?"
"On the other bank is a beautiful, peach bottomed, boy and alas I cannot swim."
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My only consolation is that there is somebody else out there who thinks and feels exactly as I do on seeing an attractive boy.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy wrote:
(snip)
> I want to look, to drink in his beauty, not to touch him. I can't offer him a garden job without being a dirty old man.
If you only want to look at his beauty, then I don't see that offering him a garden job is different in principle for putting out bird-feeders to admire the beauty of avian species. Though society might perceive it a bit differently.
If, in fact, there's a part of you that does want to get involved in some way, you might consider that offering him a garden job would let you know him as a person better, and so the real lad would displace any fantasy image that you might be at risk of building up.
It should go without saying that I have absolute certainty that you would never do anything inappropriate!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
It's strange. My ambition was to be a schoolmaster. A "Mr Chips" or an R F Delderfield "To Serve Them All My Days" schoolmaster. Without being in any way derogatory towards teachers, "schoolmaster" is somehow different.
But I discovered I adored boys, almost to the extent of drool being obvious. The glance that lasted too long, the need to be in the company of the most wonderful seeming.
I watched as my own schoolmasters worked. One, the swimming coach, surrounded himself with the most beautiful boys, those whom the rest of the allegedly heterosexual school declared interest in. I knew how we regarded him, and there was no way I was going to be regarded as such.
In answer to your certainty, while I am now certain I was not so certain then. As a twenty something schoolmaster, would I have touched then, if one such lad had made his own interest in me clear? I hope not. And yet I think so.
I chose a career(!) that was as a government employee in a secure area instead. I carefully prevented myself form homosexuality in action by taking a job that I was likely to have been fired from for "incorrect sexuality". I moved as far from a school environment as I possibly could, effectively ending any possibility of contact with gorgeous boys, "just in case".
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy wrote:
I chose a career(!) that was as a government employee in a secure area instead. I carefully prevented myself form homosexuality in action by taking a job that I was likely to have been fired from for "incorrect sexuality". I moved as far from a school environment as I possibly could, effectively ending any possibility of contact with gorgeous boys, "just in case".
Was this a conscious decision made at that time or is it an interpretation of your past choices in light of a more mature understanding of self?
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Being a gay schoolmaster takes a lot of will power and self-discipline. Particularly when you're still young, boys will throw themselves at you and are there are plenty of opportunities. At least in my days you just got the sack if you lost control whereas these days it's countless enquiries, court cases with prison and the sex offenders' register.
I was saved by striving for the heterosexual life and by the time I realised that was not going to be I was past the age of attraction for boys.
However, to turn the tables slightlly, how does a hetero schoolmaster feel about the girls he teaches, especially if he hunky? I know (of) more cases of misbehaviour with schoolgirls than schoolboys. And there have been cases highlighted in the press of female teachers seducing teenage boys.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
It was a mixture of conscious and subconscious.
I chose a university degree that would be virtually useless as a teacher - metallurgy - and proceeded to fail it which ensured I could not teach. A mixture in itself.
I also chose actively not to head in the direction of boys. I even gave up teaching sailing.
[Updated on: Thu, 11 September 2008 08:23]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
I learned relatively recently that many of my prep school masters left the school "just ahead of the police". An ex teacher told me!
At my public school one master left quickly after propositioning an unwise choice of boy - one who was never going to be receptive to anyone's advances, a plastic child!
Pupils left suddenly, too, after propositioning younger boys.
I am sure I would not have had the strength of will to stay boy-celibate. Only age brings that, if one has self control at all. And trying to be heterosexual, of course.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, but I ask myself how I have avoided letting such desires get a hold of me - to the extent I have.
And I think the main thing is to have a partner that understands you. I do think that a loving and committed relationship makes it much easier to behave well. For me the second thing was to have children of our own and to have the experience of bringing them up and facing some of those problems.
And I have remarked before that in a way I was glad to have only daughters because I wasn't sure I could be a proper father figure to a boy, especially since I am open to my family about my homosexuality.
But without such props what would become of us? I had a friend, Hugh Champney; he was a medical student who got his kicks from 'smally boys'. He knew it was wrong and that everyone would disapprove. He committed suicide not long after we left university.
I know he had feelings for me that I didn't return and I wonder whether he might still be alive if he had found a loving partner.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As are scoutmasters and suchlike: in fact, anyone in a position of having responsibility for such a lad. In the UK at least, the law explicitly recognises this, with a different age of consent (18, not 16) applying.
I had the usual half-dozen teachers who were attracted to boys, but the ones who were obvious usually favoured the (pre-pubescent) cute choristers. At last two of these were such chronic alcoholics that I very much doubt whether they were capable of erections, and I've often wondered whether their alcoholism was because the strain of keeping their hands to themselves was too much to cope with.
I worked in a boys Public School for a couple of years, from ages 20 to 22, as a Lab Tech not a teacher though I did have considerable informal contact with the boys. The age gap between the older boys (17/18 ) and me at 20/21/22 was not all that great, but I never felt tempted to make a move on any of them, although several were undeniably attractive. That may partly because that was the last couple of years I was in the closet, but I'm sure is largely because the concept of the School, and myself as an adult, being "in loco parentis", and so taking responsibility for the welfare of the boys in some way, was deeply ingrained. I'm very sure that if I'd met them in a gay pub my attitude would have been distinctly different!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Timmy started this by explaining why he did not become a teacher. I know that what I am going to write here is going to be misunderstood, but I feel compelled somehow to write. Maybe it's something that I 'need to say'.
I became a teacher quite by accident. My chosen profession was another, but at a certain stage I was asked to add teaching to it. It was only then that I discovered that I was a born teacher. I loved teaching and the students loved me teaching them. I have taught junior high students, 10th-12th grade students, and also university graduates. (In my chosen profession i have also taught adults regularly.) Almost all the courses that I taught were elective, so I know that the students chose to study with me. (On one occasion the head teacher agreed to let me offer a certain subject because he was sure that no one would choose it: 35 students registered and he had to find the hours.)
Only the other day I got an email from a former student who somehow located me via the Internet. He must be around 40 now, though I last saw him when he finished High School. It will be interesting to remake the acquaintance.
I discovered that the older the student the better teacher I am - or was. With primary school kids I am worse than useless. But one graduate that I taught was heard to say that she would go to all my classes even if I just read out of the telephone book!
All my classes were co-ed. I have never taught in a boys-only school. Yes, I was attracted to some boys in high school. I am reasonably sure that none of them knew it. The nearest I ever got to shaming myself was one extremely hot day (before the classrooms in israel had air-conditioning) one of the boys took off his T-shirt - to the delight of the girls. I said, "Kfir, if you don't put your shirt back on I shall require you to take off another piece of clothing as well." (He was only wearing T-Shirt and shorts, not even sandals.) He looked at me - and put his shirt back on.
But when I came to teach university granduates it was very difficult. Yes, there were dozens of young men who attracted me almost to distraction. I don't know how I got through those years still sane.
I gave up high school teaching eight years ago and I finally retired from my chosen profession a year ago. I can breathe.
Que messieurs les assassins commencent.
JFR
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I fear I'll be misunderstood too!
The thing I think society doesn't get (because of the silly religionists), is that it seems obvious to me that we must be hard wired to find those between puberty and young adult hood beautiful and desirable. So what's the big deal? Or am I missing something again? ::-) Sorry i know I'm not the brightest bulb in the room, but why not just get to some angsty prose of unrequited desire and get it over with LOL.
If we fallow through the history card we can see that at times this, especially with adults and boys has been an excepted and even healthy thing, otherwise you'd end up with very young girls knocked up and this is very dangerous for both mother and child, and that I think is only a small part of it!
Sure times change and sociologically we change, that's why today such a relationship even under the best of circumstances would be unhealthy "sighs," but that's because of what society has wrought, sadly it has all been taken out of the realm of love and relegated to mere lust.
I find the are range I speak of to be so beautiful as to make me nearly swoon at time therefore I would never do anything to harm it. Then I have experience, the experience of having my youthful innocence ripped away from me, not by someones unwanted sexual advances but by those trying to take away my sexual attraction to other males.
I think we live in a very confused world! I know I sound the simpleton when i say this over and over, but we all need to learn to be able to love our selves, if we did that we would not only want the best for our selves but all around us. 
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
I tend to agree with you over the hard wired element. I cannot judge about girls because I have never found them particularly alluring.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:42] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I really cant give a statement from experience since I have had no children either boy or girl. I can tell you what I have heard from other teachers and what have you in conversations. It seems that in the 17oos and earlier it was normal for fathers to take their sons and show them how to masterbate and explain sex to them (dont hold me to this this is just what I have been told). Later the father would arrange a meeting with a prostitute. it was my understanding that girls were never taught about sex. I seem to recall that King Henry the V111, one of his wifes had no idea what sex was and thought she had had sex when he kissed her on the cheek. (not sure if that is true or not). I did overhear this conversation once. "Boys are prittier than girls", the other man, "why is that?", "Because God created man in his image, women were not". "women were made from mans rib".
I wish I could find it, I will try hard to and post a link. There was a study done that showed that boys who had entered into a relationship with an adult male (sexual) voluntarily showed no physical or emotional trauma from the encounter or relationship.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Sargeant (Since 1941) wrote:
> My curiosity revolves around whether the child's emotional problems arise from: 1) a societally instilled abhorance, revulsion and shame or 2) from a sense of powerlessness or 3) from a physiological immaturity that prevents pleasure and reciprocity or...
I can't answer for the child sex slave trade, but for age-discrepant sex in general I do have some ideas.
As some here know, I was in a relationship aged 13/14/15 with an older guy. It spanned puberty, and my first orgasm was at his hands. For me, the emotional problems were to do with betrayal.
He had said, repeatedly, that he loved me (and I was very genuinely in love with him). When I asked to ease back on the sexual side of our relationship (because I felt that we should sometimes do other things in our limited time together) he wouldn't, and came close to attempting to rape me. Very scary indeed! So I more-or-less broke off the relationship (saying the next couple of times we met would have to be in a public place, not his house) - we didn't meet after that. But he did write a very long, self-pitying and explicit letter to my mother, which I was lucky enough to intercept before she knew the post had been delivered (due to his habit of using green envelopes and purple ink).
That was not love. It was a deep betrayal of trust, compounded by my subsequent discovery that for a fair number of years he was in fact only attracted to adolescents, and in later years he could discard them rather callously (though he is now CP'd to an adult, and I think has given up kids). Crudely, he did not love ME, but a fantasy pubescent male of which I happened to be the current manifestation.
Had it been, explicitly, only sex for sex's sake, I would have been considerably less traumatised. It is the grooming, the development of trust and its subsequent betrayal that I think does the damage ... and is why I feel so strongly about the "trust" implicit in a position of responsibility like schoolteacher or scoutmaster.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
With wine and boys around,the monks have no need of the devil to tempt them.
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rind_et_al._(1998 )
[Updated on: Thu, 11 September 2008 22:17]
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:41] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:41] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:40] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:40] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
A few years ago I met, online, a young man named Steven. He and Marc and I had been talking to each other. I say 'talking', but Steven was yelling. Marc asked me if I would take over the contact because Steven was deeply troubled. I think this was in 1998/1999, and Steven was ~16 years old.
He was vehemently anti fags. Vitriolic in his condemnation he also possessed the attribute of listening, unusual in one with his history. Steven was diagnosed ADHD, and was on, among other drugs, Ritalin. He had, I would imagine he has, many emotional issues still.
He had a great car, a Fiero, with an awesome custom sound system. He'd planned his suicide to the extent of choosing the tree he was going to drive into. And he equated, perhaps equates, his life with the abducted boy in "I Know My First Name Is Steven" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097553/ A strange coincidence of name, perhaps?
As we talked he calmed down. And his history is sad. I haven't seen him for a while, and last time I chatted to him I had mostly slipped out of his memory, but I look for him sometimes. He lived in a good home with a good father, but his birth mother was a drunk. The father's current wife cares deeply about him. But, when Steven was 6, a man inveigled himself into the family as a friend.
He did it both to assault Steven and to require him to procure his friends. His line was "You have to do what I say because I've lent your family a lot of money. If you tell them our secret I'll make them pay me back, and they can't afford to keep you. So they'll give you to me anyway. They don't love you as much as I do."
From the age of 6 to the age of 14 he raped Steven regularly and repeatedly. He took him on fishing trips and threatened to drown him in the black waters of the lake from their boat if he did not do as he was told, or if he told anyone. Part of that was to procure his cute friends.
Steven was introduced to other men, told they were NAMBLA members, and he and the friends he procured were abused repeatedly. When Steven was 14 he and one of his friends had a suicide pact - the only way they felt able to escape. The friend blew his brains out, Steven couldn't pull the trigger on his father's gun.
His step mother somehow heard him mumbling in his sleep/delerium and they removed him from harm's way.
I have the name of his abuser. He is a consultant anesthesiologist at a children's hospital. For various obscure reasons, perhaps including the statement from Steven that his father beat the abuser to a pulp and was afraid of prosecution himself for that, reasons the police were not involved. But Steven is safe, except from himself.
Today he is married to the mother of the boy he fathered when he was 12 and she a very little older. He adores his son (data correct last time we spoke, 3 years ago), and once even sent me a picture of him and his son on his driveway with his car. He's a great looking lad and an obviously attractive abuse target.
I hope very much that he outlives the emotional scars caused by 8 years of being buggered against his will among other acts.
The reality of NAMBLA is not the altruistic "love" between men and boys. The reality is a bunch of evil men out to bugger all that they can.
I will look for Steven again. I have not looked for about 6 months.
[Updated on: Sat, 13 September 2008 17:08]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In the late 1970s / early 80s as a student I was actively involved in campaigning (unsuccessfully) to have the gay age of consent lowered from the then age of 21 to parity with heterosexuals at 16 (though most of us would have settled for "legal adulthood" - 18 ).
A lot of the discussions and public meetings were attended by members of PIE - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paedophile_Information_Exchange for their history and fate. I spent many hours listening to the case being put that we should campaign for the total abolition of the age of consent: that it was right, appropriate and natural for adults to wish to have sex with children, infants and newborn.
Frankly, I've never bought the argument. I did get to know a couple of members of PIE reasonably well, and it seemed very clear to me that they had no concern for the well-being of the child, or even that this was an appropriate concern. Many of them had been sexual partners for older men in their youth, and were almost desperate in their assertions that it had done them no harm, which always struck me more as an attempt to reassure themselves than to convince anyone else.
And, to be honest, the sometimes-heard claim that "it's so good they invite their friends along" always made me uncomfortable: my suspicions were that (as with the person Timmy posted about), the friends got involved due to blackmail, bribery, or a mix of both.
I do not rule out the possibility of mutually beneficial relationships between adult and child (including pre-pubertal) including sex. The year of two lectures a week I took on "Sex/Gender roles" when at Uni doing an Anthropology degree has shown me that they are not necessarily traumatic in other societies. Indeed, I have much sympathy with the view that our reaction of horror at any adult/child sexual contact, and the whole way that we as a society increasingly handle the issue of "abuse", is responsible for much of the damage.
However, I think that it's almost impossible in current UK / US / "Western" society for an adult to have a sexual relationship with a child that is not (at least potentially) very damaging. Once a child reaches sexual maturity, the situation is to me much less clear-cut, as the actions of the adult will have correspondingly more counterparts in the younger persons experience.
For me, at least, the high risk of exposing the child to emotional damage, and the power imbalance in adult/child relationships, means that they would *always* be immoral. A now-departed poster here has persuaded me that they might not always be so for all combinations of adults and children, even in this society ... but for me, they would be.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In the close where I live several boys play at weekends and in the evenings until sunset. As a guy of a certain age who lives on his own I do not dare even speak to them because of the aspersions that might be cast by neighbours. When I do speak it's usually to tell them off unfortunately. Therefore I have the reputation of being a miserable old git which under the circumstances might be deserved, but not one I enjoy. It is not helped by the fact that one of them is extremely attractive, but I'm the loser.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael, NAMBLA is not a good place to learn anything about the relationships between men and boys. I have had the unpleasant oportunity to meet some of them. Pretty much it boils down to a bunch of mean nasty old men molesting boys. For the biggest part this group has been banned and broken up. The few that still function as NAMBLA are not very nice men. They have only their own iterest at heart. A boy might benifit from a relationship with one of these men but only if they allow themselves to be buggered.
Now getting away from NAMBLA. I have met some men who had taken young boys under their wings. In some cases there man have been sex involved (I really dont know) but what I did see were boys who were very much loved and cared for and protected. In every case the boys were taught to be polite and show respect. I could see no signes of abuse or mental problems.
I think one of the things that you have to take into account is the mental condition of the adult. Caligula's adopted father was Tiberius. Tiberius had retired to his villa on Capri. Tiberius liked the company of young boys. He called them his tadpoles. When a boy got to old or he was tired of the boy, the boy was taken to a cliff on the Isle and pushed off to die against the rocks at the bottom. This man was a monster. He wasnt condimned because he had sex with boys, but because he murdered them.
Im not sure this makes any sence at all. If the adult is honorable and actually has the well being of the boy at heart then that is one thing but to be self serving and altruistic is another.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Michael,
I think of my friend Lewis who was at a boarding school where a particular master was known to sit on some boys' beds and fondle them. Lewis was desperate to be fondled and when it happened was mightily delighted. He STILL likes to be fondled and I don't think it is that he is retarded or unable to progress beyond childhood. [He is now 74 years old]
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Timmy,
Wow! I'm full of admiration. Can I help?
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
I think Steven is probably fine, though there is no way of bringing his abuser to justice. I did try, but the police require the victim to testify prior to being at all interested in investigating the alleged abuser.
He appears to have dropped off the radar now. With luck he is retired, and no longer in a children's hospital, but it was Arkansas he moved to, and I imagine buggering small children is more acceptable there.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
There is, I think, a huge difference between a fondle when one is willing to be fondled and wishing for it, and having a rather large penis shoved up one's rather tiny arse without anyone caring whether it hurts or not, or perhaps enjoying one's screams of pain.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
saben
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
|
|
|
Indeed. Yet both are grouped as "sex with children"...
Sexual contact can be physically enjoyable for a pre-pubescent child- it's like getting a back rub. Giving and receiving can both be pleasurable. Kids can be curious about larger adult penises. They can be curious about ejaculation. A child can enjoy making an older man ejaculate.
But yes, that is different to being rammed anally- though in some cases (likely the minority) that may be enjoyable, too.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fingolfin
|
|
Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
|
|
|
Hey,
one size fits all seems to be the general solution everywhere.
I have an experience that breaks this law quite hardly. A boy attended our trainings... He was like 8 when he started and even at that age he was very mature and macho-like. At his age of 11 (I was 19 or 20) we happened to share a room at a camp (it had to be his punishment for misbehaviour). We had several long discussions about life and sex, and he told me about his own experiments and that even his school psychologist had told him that he had been mentally capable of having responsible sex life. At the age of 11 when physically nothing had already started! He took me as his older friend and there was no pressure to go further beyond that. (Today I'm wondering how I had been able to keep my hands off of him, especially when he was like 14...). He trusted me in my opinions (he never learnt I was gay) and shared his with me. Later on his interests changed and he gave up trainings, but I will always remember him as the youngest adult person I have ever met...
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
While I accept all that you say about this situation, in general I don't think that a child's telling of what his psychologist may have said is to be relied upon. Obviously I cannot judge the situation you and he were in.
In general I would suggest that a child who says "I've tried out some sex stuff. My school shrink says I'm adult enough to have sex!" is probably just the reverse, and not adult enough to have sex. In reality it is illegal anyway and we are saved from having to make the judgement. While one size does not fit all, here I think it helps.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fingolfin
|
|
Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
|
|
|
Hey Timmy,
this is the time when I'm tempted to write "I knew him and I have reasons to trust him". Instead I'll say Thanks for new view, I have to think it over...
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fingolfin
|
|
Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
|
|
|
Thought it over.
Well, I knew him and I have reasons to trust him. He has 2 older brothers (they were like 18 and 23 when he was 11). I can remember how he behaved, what were his opinions and some plans. Maybe it was caused by circumstances or the fact that he quite often met older people than himself. The conclusion is, that I still do think that he had an adult mind caged in a pre-pubescent boy body.
However, Timmy, your comments made me think a bit, which means that we all learn...
Has anybody ever been open in this range with you, the posters on this forum?
Have you ever been this open with anybody?
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
Thinking is good, especially where the way we interact with children socially is concerned, because they are not, generally, mini-adults. And yes, there are some old heads on young shoulders, and having substantially older siblings can cause that.
Let's assume that the boy knew you well and trusted you as someone who was not a family member as a person he could bounce ideas off. He may not even have known that he was using you to be that person.
What if he was just experimenting in his thoughts with no actual desire to go from thought to action?
What if his idea of sex was with someone of his age and you had misunderstood his conversation to be seducing you?
Sex for most people is with the opposite gender, after all. And he could not so easily ask someone female.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fingolfin
|
|
Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
|
|
|
He, very strongly, claimed interest in girls, and I was not in situation, nor it is my natural attitude, to push. It somehow flew out of him and maybe my presence or whatever made him comfortable with talking on such subject, which is quite problematic at that age. He obviously needed to talk. Had he proposed something more, I'm not sure whether I could have been able to resist. Fortunately (or not) this never happened. The consequencies could've been various and the worst are mighty frightening...
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, Marek, all I can say is "Well done you!".
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Btw the age of consent is 15 in Slovakia.
http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
