A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Homophobic homos...
Homophobic homos...  [message #57949] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:06 Go to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



Timmy. I think the moral indignation of some of those who posted in response to your video could indeed be similar to the homosexual homophobes. Those that pillory homosexuality or even sexuality generally then are found out to be involved in some sex scandal themselves.

I don't claim to know the thoughts of any of the posters, nor their character. But perhaps it's more that people were scared of their own reactions to the videos. It may be a hypocrisy that people on a website filled with stories of gay teen sex are offended by topless teens riding bikes. But perhaps it's a hypocrisy borne out of fear and even a little self-loathing.

Let's face it, I think the majority of people here probably find teen males attractive. That's why the stories are appealing- that's why we're here and not another gay site. But due to the social condemnation of the paedophiles and the current witch-hunt (that has nothing to do with ACTUAL child protection) I think a lot of people here may end up feeling at least a little guilty. I know I, at times, do.

I'm often arguing exceptionally controversial viewpoints and I've even challenged the notion of ANY age of consent law. But my arguments are intellectual. Emotionally I can range from feeling content with an attraction to below-age-of-consent boys from feeling that perhaps I SHOULD be burnt at the stake for even entertaining such feelings.

We need this place of safety. Even if sometimes we have knee-jerk emotional reactions. Again I'm not trying to paint everyone with the same brush- but I think some of the reactions could well be less about people looking and a video and not liking what they see and more about people looking in the mirror and not liking what they see.

It could also be that some here, because their age of attraction is low, feel it necessary to have a radical and strong division between acceptable and not-acceptable. Perhaps that strong division is the only way they separate themselves from the "evil paedos".

The way I see things, though, sexual exploitation of minors can and will always exist. Even if every person makes their children wear masks and cover their faces like Michael Jackson's children there will still be people that mentally undress them. Whether the kids on bikes are fully undressed or fully dressed, if someone finds them cute, they will still be the object of sexual fantasies. And even if all topless teens were removed from the internet- does that mean they'd also be removed from real life? And even if that were the case- would the sexual fantasies stop? I highly doubt it- especially while teens try and appear sexually enticing to each other and to people older than them.

So to me a picture or movie of kids riding bikes can never be truly sexually exploitative because there's nothing sexual going on. And if you remove a video of topless minors, maybe you should remove top-wearing minors... and from there- well maybe people should just stop having children... just to make sure the children are never harmed. It's the only effective way...



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57950 is a reply to message #57949] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



I tried as much as possible to not make assertions about any of the people here. But I also was thinking that the stories were the main draw card here while forgetting that a lot of people here are probably those who personally empathise with timmy's story as a gay man married to a woman.

I guess in such a case there can be total freedom from the guilt I described and there is less to call hypocritical. Those who aren't interested in gay teen sex/love stories can more readily jump on the anti-paedophile bandwagon.

I'm not trying to tar anyone with any brush. Just try and understand what to me is a surprising reaction.

I first came to iomfats as a confused 16-17 year old. I found it through nifty and I liked the stories. Stories with content, yet still similar to the Young Friends section of nifty. 7-8 years later I'm still attracted to teenaged guys. My boyfriend is of legal age and we've been together a while, but the attraction to teens remains.

I couldn't understand how anyone could come to iomfats for the stories- like I did and then criticise topless teenaged boys. But perhaps not everyone came for the stories. I don't know.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57951 is a reply to message #57949] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Justa90sKid is currently offline  Justa90sKid

Toe is in the water
Location: England, United Kingdom
Registered: September 2008
Messages: 33




Talk about a rash analysis, not to mention a huge generalisation. Speaking for myself, I can safely say I don't find young boys attractive in any way, shape or form.



"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57952 is a reply to message #57951] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Justa90sKid is currently offline  Justa90sKid

Toe is in the water
Location: England, United Kingdom
Registered: September 2008
Messages: 33




Also, if I may add. I personally think the descriptions of sex in some of the stories on this site, really ruin the overall feel of the story, for me anyway.



"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57954 is a reply to message #57950] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Well, Saben, you are right, I think. You are certainly right about me - I find teenaged and twenties guys can be very attractive. And when I read such stories I am, to some extent, imagining myself in such situations and thinking back to the times when I was involved in those ways.

And I don't think it is only old gay men that think back to their youth and would sometimes like to relive it (with variations, maybe). That, I think, was why I came for the stories and found the friendship and have stuck.

Maybe the age one likes can be the age one was when one was wakened to the possibilities of sex. I was nineteen when I first had a sexual encounter with another boy and I doubt if I had been aware of sexual attraction to other boys for as much as a year before then.

But I do believe that the pair-bonding thing is very strong in some (most?) of us else how could I have been faithful to one woman for 46 years?

I try to be honest and tell the truth about my feelings and what I would do in difficult circumstances. I would politely decline Timmy's ideal boy - but I wouldn't want to if it was not a one-night stand that was on offer but something more permanent.

Love,
Anthony
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57955 is a reply to message #57952] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



If that is so, and without making this a pointed question in any way at all, please would you say what you are her for and what you get of any value form the site?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
"Shock" at matters sexual  [message #57957 is a reply to message #57949] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



I have postulated elsewhere that people who are "shocked" by something sexual are, in reality, excited by it. They express this as "shock" because they cannot reconcile their excitement with their education and upbringing over things that are taboo in polite company. Thus shock is expressed.

I am neither agreeing nor disagreeing with you. I am simply interested.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57959 is a reply to message #57949] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nigel is currently offline  Nigel

On fire!
Location: England
Registered: November 2003
Messages: 1756



Saben, what you have said I agree with and you have expressed it well.

From my point of view I find males of a certain age attractive, and most of the time not even sexually attractive, just eye candy. That is a bland truth which I have realised exists, whether I like it or not, and which through many stratagies I have come to terms with.

I daresay someone will try to argue that a male can't find a boy attractive without finding him sexually attractive. I don't agree and the logical conclusion of that argument is that anyone of whatever age or sex whom one finds attractive must therefore be attractive in a sexual way.

I enjoy the freedom of this board to be able to express this. If I say any more it will only be a repeat of what Saben has already said, except:

Years ago when I was a very junior teacher the staff was given a talk by a policeman from the drugs squad. What I particularly remember was that he also brought along some porno mags (arguing that drugs and porn usually went together - this was early 70s to put it in context) which a group of very senior colleagues looked at and volubly condemned, and yet… they were unable to put them down and walk away.

Hugs
N

[Updated on: Thu, 30 July 2009 20:51]




I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.

…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57961 is a reply to message #57952] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW

On fire!
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1558



Well, I think this site's fairly clear of the kind of graphic descriptions to be found on Nifty and elsewhere. That's one of the reasons I enjoy most of the stories here.

For me, making love is one of the few things** that I do (OK, used to do: it's been a l-o-n-g time) that isn't accompanied by an inner monologue - it engages all the senses but over-rides the words. For me, that means that reading descriptions of the sex act simply doesn't work: reading about relationships and emotions is much more to the point.


** the others that immediately spring to mind are cooking, fishing, and gardening.



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: "Shock" at matters sexual  [message #57964 is a reply to message #57957] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Justa90sKid is currently offline  Justa90sKid

Toe is in the water
Location: England, United Kingdom
Registered: September 2008
Messages: 33




Sex is not something that excites me, I am afraid. I don't find it overly appealing either.

Since you 'asked', I came here about three(?) years ago, I was very young. (still am, I suppose) and met Brian Aiden Whittiker. We shared (albeit online) the best six months of my life together. Then I discovered he was a middle-aged man, lol.

I guess I keep coming back to see if I imagined it all, and I guess hope Brian comes back online.



"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
Re: "Shock" at matters sexual  [message #57966 is a reply to message #57964] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nigel is currently offline  Nigel

On fire!
Location: England
Registered: November 2003
Messages: 1756



You therefore have an axe to grind,

Hugs
N



I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.

…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57969 is a reply to message #57961] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



While there are stories that will not be to everyone's taste, in general I try very hard to ensure that the erotic content is relevant to the plot of the tale.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: "Shock" at matters sexual  [message #57970 is a reply to message #57966] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Justa90sKid is currently offline  Justa90sKid

Toe is in the water
Location: England, United Kingdom
Registered: September 2008
Messages: 33




No 'axe' here buddy.

I was simply answering a question that was put to me.



"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
Why you are here  [message #57971 is a reply to message #57964] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



Apart from answering in the wrong place, something that can confuse people, you have mistaken my question. What do you get out of the site? Why do you remain? You don't like the stories and BAW is not coming back in that format.

So what is the point of being here, for you? And what brought you here in the first place?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Why you are here  [message #57972 is a reply to message #57971] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Justa90sKid is currently offline  Justa90sKid

Toe is in the water
Location: England, United Kingdom
Registered: September 2008
Messages: 33




No point whatsoever.



"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57973 is a reply to message #57959] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



And that takes my postulation of "shock" that has been hijacked by accident, and almost proves it.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57975 is a reply to message #57951] Mon, 20 July 2009 21:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



Generalisation? So mentioning "possibilities" means I'm generalising?

What I said may not apply to anyone. But when looking at the contrast between "OMG topless teens= porn" and a website filled with teen gay stories I tried to find what the disconnect might be caused by.

In your case you're here for your own reasons. Not the stories. Fair enough.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #57996 is a reply to message #57973] Wed, 22 July 2009 04:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ray2x is currently offline  ray2x

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429



Good God, I hope I am not a "homophobic homo". I'm still getting my gay profile in good order. Actually, the word "safety" won me over to your place. I have not posted on any other sites about gay matters until I came across here. It was a bit of a godsend and I needed such. I still am, like my daughter, a work in progress.



Raymundo
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #58004 is a reply to message #57996] Wed, 22 July 2009 09:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Yes, Raymundo, I hope we all are still developing and improving (even those of us with one foot in the grave).

I guess if you don't change you might as well be dead.

Love,
Anthony
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #58015 is a reply to message #58004] Thu, 23 July 2009 04:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ray2x is currently offline  ray2x

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429



Yes, always a works in progress am I. I guess my wife wishes I would finish sooner.



Raymundo
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #58017 is a reply to message #58015] Thu, 23 July 2009 07:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Or last longer? Wink



Love,
Anthony
Re: Homophobic homos...  [message #58112 is a reply to message #58017] Wed, 29 July 2009 14:53 Go to previous message
ray2x is currently offline  ray2x

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429



Are there no secrets?? ::-)



Raymundo
Previous Topic: Ah the US constitutional right of freedom of expression
Next Topic: Brighton Pride 2009
Goto Forum: