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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries
icon8.gif Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries  [message #59476] Tue, 10 November 2009 06:53 Go to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



http://freestudents.blogspot.com/2009/09/there-is-fury-and-and-sadness-inside.html

I can't say it any better than this blog can. I don't even have the words to express how I feel.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries  [message #59477 is a reply to message #59476] Tue, 10 November 2009 09:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nigel is currently offline  Nigel

On fire!
Location: England
Registered: November 2003
Messages: 1756



So sad, so unnecessary and what is the ultimate point? And it's not only America. There are cases of ten and twelve year olds going though the English courts now.

Hugs
N



I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.

…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
Re: Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries  [message #59479 is a reply to message #59477] Tue, 10 November 2009 11:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Well, talking here won't cure it. Write to the guy who makes the laws - your MP. (I'm excused as my MP is gay and out and has a liberal approach to these things.)

The law is and always has been an ass. There will always be unjust laws and, even worse, unjust law enforcers. I can remember the days when gay men dared not report it if they were burgled because the police would take one look at the decorations and search for pornography and address books and charge the burgled and forget all about the burglar. I'd bet that the world would be a better place if there were far fewer people in prison and if the criminal justice system forgot about punishment and was entirely focused on helping the criminal to avoid offending again.

Please tell your children and any other child you have responsibility for that the important thing is DON'T GET CAUGHT.

So before doing anything dubious (and not only sexual things) with someone else you have to make as sure as you can that they aren't going to tell on you (and keep it private so some smaller child doesn't find out by accident and blurt out what they found).

How horrible it is to live in a society where these precautions are necessary! All I can say is that it was worse when I was young though the world in general was much better at turning a blind eye when appropriate.

And I do quite often have to remind people that right and wrong are NOT what the law says. It isn't just the law of man that is not always right it is the laws of gods and devils too. There is no law that is always right and everyone ought to remember that. Particularly those people that think they know what god wants, because those people start off wrong.

The first question to ask before you report a breach of the law to 'authority' is "Was any harm done?" and the second is "Will reporting this cause more harm than it prevents?". When you ask these questions seriously it is quite surprising how often it is better to leave something unreported.

Love,
Anthony
Re: Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries  [message #59482 is a reply to message #59476] Tue, 10 November 2009 12:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Brody Levesque is currently offline  Brody Levesque

Really getting into it
Location: US/Canada
Registered: September 2009
Messages: 733



Unfortunately, the American [ U.S. ] penchant for demonising situations that are a creation of their own societies' shortcomings in regards to sexual matters doesn't just stop with Sex Offender registries and draconian measures that are of questionable impact. Here's a recent column from Dr. Marty Klein:

Protecting Kids On-Line: A Growth Industry

By Dr. Marty Klein (Palo Alto, California) Nov 7 | I was privileged to be part of this year’s annual meeting of FOSI, the Family On-Line Safety Institute. This was the first year they invited a sex expert. So it was 400 public policy people and one sex guy—me.

The lineup of speakers was extraordinary: a Senator; senior executives from companies like Verizon and Comcast; several state Attorneys General; President Obama’s Deputy Chief Technology Officer; and dozens of heavy hitters like Adam Thierer (Progress & Freedom Foundation) and Larry Magid (ConnectSafely).

The complexity of the internet, broadband, and mobile-connected world of kids and teens which they discussed for two days had my head spinning. Preschoolers tweeting?

Everyone agreed that the online environment posed various dangers to kids; thankfully, in addition to talking about predators, these sophisticated people talk about cyberbullying and other problems that are far more common in most kids’ lives.

All speakers expressed commitment to the same thing: helping young people have safe, productive experiences online. Of course, sincere people disagree on how to define “safe” and “productive”—a common disagreement whenever sexuality is involved. That tension underlines policy discussions of adult sex-related issues, too, like the morning-after pill, prostitution, and same-sex marriage.

With this all-star lineup I didn’t have much time, but I did make the following points:

* Why do kids use the internet for various sexual activities? Why NOT? Kids are sexual (whether we like it or not), and the internet is the most powerful communications technology ever invented. Of COURSE they’ll use it for sexual purposes—just like adults do.

* How should we deal with kids sexting? The way we would deal with it if we could see beyond its sexual aspect: by talking about trust, power, privacy, etc..

* Parents don’t need help dealing with their kids’ sexuality online—they need help dealing with their kids’ sexuality, period. Most parents deal with their kids’ online erotic lives the way they deal with their kids’ offline erotic lives—by ignoring or problematizing them. Whether they’re talking about the internet, the playground, or hooking up, parents need to discuss sexuality with their kids beyond the context of danger and safety.

* We’re preparing our kids for lives they’re NOT going to have—lives without erotic feelings, falling in love, and sexual decision-making. In doing so, we leave them unprepared for the lives that they’re going to have—whether we’re comfortable with that or not.

* It would be great if kids were as thoughtful and careful online as many policy-makers wish they would be. But that’s expecting kids to make better decisions online than most adults do. When tens of millions of adults are hooked on their blackberries, spending too much time in chat rooms, and being deceitful about porn use or online flirting, why are we surprised when kids reveal themselves too much on facebook or by sexting?

In most states, the age at which a picture qualifies as child pornography is higher than the age of consent. And so privately, I asked the Attorney General of one western state how he could justify criminalizing pictures of teens being sexual if the sexual acts themselves were legal. He kept telling me that the pictures were illegal no matter how they were created, so that ended the conversation fairly quickly.

He was more interested in enforcing the law than in understanding how it affects the society he supposedly wants to protect. Perhaps his attitude would change if his 16-year-old son had to register as a sex offender because he’d shared a nude photo of his girlfriend.

There are, of course, some real threats to the health and safety of young people online. But sometimes the criminal justice system is one of those threats. I wish this had been discussed seriously during the two-day conference.
Photo courtesy of Dr. Marty Klein.

Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and sociologist with a special interest in public policy and sexuality. He has written 6 books and over 100 articles about sexuality. Each year he trains thousands of professionals in North America and abroad in clinical skills, human sexuality, and policy issues.
Marty sees men, women, and couples in his Palo Alto office for psychotherapy, couples counseling, and sex therapy.
Each month Marty publishes the electronic newsletter Sexual Intelligence,TM which examines the sexual implications of current events, politics, technology, popular culture, and the media. For an archive of his original articles, lots of Q/A about sexuality, and other material, see http://www.SexEd.org.
Marty’s current award-winning book is America’s War On Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust, & Liberty.
Re: Just one reason I'm opposed to Sex Offender Registries  [message #59486 is a reply to message #59482] Wed, 11 November 2009 09:46 Go to previous message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Well, since I can't see a way to get the laws changed, maybe the only thing to do is to get so many people registered as sex offenders that it ceases to be a matter of shame.

Maybe we should get the age of consent put at 25 and define a paedophile as anyone who has sex with an under-25 year old and reduce the standard of proof for sex cases (I mean below the much reduced standard it has already reached) so that a remembered boast about what you did in the car park is accepted as proof.

Then when everyone alive is on the sex offenders register it will be only the sub-humans that are not on it we will have achieved a bearable position.

Love,
Anthony
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