|
|
white183a
|
 |
Getting started |
Location: United Kingdom
Registered: January 2010
Messages: 1
|
|
|
To Old at 57 to Befriend,Photo,& Post on Web ?????????
I am 57 years old, and find youngmen aged about 15 to 25ish adorable,
their physical beauty is a treasure. I am a closeted and abstaining gay man
who is more assexual having been raped by two older boys when i was 12.
The Emotional and Physical attraction is still there!.
My Brother can admire pretty girls and he's 63, thats OK, but if i look at a 16 year old pretty boy thats Perverted and Dusgusting, and i should be on the sex offenders register.
I have had the odd Platonic Friendships with younger guys, but i look and never touch, and on rare occasions have cuddled up in bed.
Family and most friends and neighbours are horrified by this.
I got a good kicking for Sunbathing with a 16 yo work friend,
and always turned down his requests to visit me at home again,
and he left his job, owing to pressure about just platonic friendships
with me at 48 and another colleague of 36.
( Sad to say i read that he was stabbed by a drug dealer and died at age 18,
all just because he was screwed up about needing Platonic Father Figures - and he was straight.)
I have some middle aged Gay friends who tell me its OK to be a Daddy Figure and look for a Young Son/Nephew Figure.
My experiences on the Gay scene and with gay dating have put me off,
i tried for 10 years. I know im fairly ugly, but i have a heart of gold, and could love and care for some one so much. But i have given up completely as the youngmen don't want a Father figure, who doesnt want sex as such, and who isn't stinking rich. The verbal abuse i received on the gay scene by Gay men for befriending younger guys was very hurtfull.
I have helped a few young Gay/Bisexual guys come out, but they never stay arround when they find someone younger. Not even as just a gratefull friend.
I despair of ever finding a Son type figure to Love.
The other problem i have is that i have been Taking/Collecting Pictures
of adult teens and 20's.
I have posted some on Speedo Sexuality and Young Lifter, etc. websites.
I have been verbally abused by EMail and Private messaging , and asked to delete the pictures which were only homoerotic e.g. Boyish 18y.o in swimwear.
All because im a quotes 'Paedophile for liking a young looking 18yo', 'Dirty Old Man at just 57 y.o.'
A 21 year old gay man from the U.S.A was so abusive that it really upset and worried me. He was going to report me to the Police as a Peadophile, which i am Not! I wouldn't touch a 25yo sexually let alone a 15yo.,
i even push my nephews away as i feel intimidated by their physical need to be hugged.
( Some favourable comments have been received, from non age phobic young guys, but the majority were -ve ).
I am now thinking of never Posting again, and keeping my Photographic Interests, to Steam Trains and Flora ( e.g. Webshots )
But enough of my ramblings, i have a Private collection of erotic stories that i have written,collected or edited. i was thinking of limiting my Web interests to Posting some of these on Nifty etc, but am very worried when they ask for age, eMail etc. Should i lie, say im 21yo, and get a seperate new Email address? just in case.
I do not want grief about my stories, because if so, they will remain private, which is a shame as i have been told they are very good.
But as for making Public and Publishing really scares me.
What do you think, all your comments welcome, even adverse ones, after all im used to that, being a Dirty Old Man.
I attach a part story by me, my stories are of an erotic nature, are they to explicit and crude??, just an old man's fantasy, or worthy of publishing?. copyright belongs to me as Author alias white183a.
Thanks
Ray
[Updated on: Sun, 10 January 2010 20:19] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JimB
|
 |
Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
|
|
|
I say the answer to your question is a resounding NO!! You are not to old to befriend or mentor a teen boy or young adult. Many such boys or young men don't have a older male role model in their life, perhaps because their father died young or because divorce in the family estranged them. These kids are in need and as long as you keep the relationship platonic I see no problem. There are plenty here at A Place of Safety that are older than you, myself included, and interacting and possibly helping the young cope with life is one of the things we try to do here.
As you said, your older brother can ogle at teen girls and it is accepted; but for you to admire a teen boy's fine body and youthful exuberance is somehow wrong. I say that's b.s.; just another example of society's double standards. Interact with today's youth, befriend them, help them, be a grandfather to those who have none; they will benefit from it as well as yourself.
JimB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
Ray, I saw your email first and replied to that. Feel free to make my reply public here if you wish.
Sorry I had to clip the extract from Nifty, I worry about copyright infringement.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
 |
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Welcome to the forum Ray. I'm 58. No platitude here, but I really understand you. I would say your situation is similar to a lot of us here. I'm probably a bit luckier than most, because I am not exclusively attracted to young guys and once had a nice relationship with a considerably older guy when I was in my 20s. Now I'm faithfully married to a woman, have a son, and am pretty satisfied and happy. I hope you find the support you need here.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Ray,
Don't feel guilty. Don't think you are too old. Don't think you are untrustworthy.
I'm 90% gay and married and my whole family knows about me and accepts me. And I have no experiences with the gay scene or with gay dating because when I got married I undertook to stay 'faithful' and I have - so I've had no sexual contact with a man for about fifty years.
I came to this site needing some people like me to talk to and after looking at pictures on the internet I wanted something better and I found the stories here (and elsewhere) had MUCH better pictures. (I used to work in radio and we always said our pictures were better than television's!)
So, talk to me and ignore what the law says - the law criminalising all homosexual acts was repealed when I was 32 and married with two children! You don't need to tell me there are unjust laws.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
|
|
|
acam wrote:
> So, talk to me and ignore what the law says - the law criminalising all homosexual acts was repealed when I was 32 and married with two children! You don't need to tell me there are unjust laws.
Talk with pleasure, but ignore the law at your peril
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
acam wrote:> "I'm 90% gay and married..." 90% Gay????
[Updated on: Sun, 10 January 2010 20:46] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No Ray, you are definitely not too old. I spent some considerable part of my life during the 1980's and early 90's just being there for a number of young gay teens to early 20's lad's. Some of whom just wanted somewhere to come and talk, some wanted a roof and for three we did just that. One stayed for five years, until he found his feet and moved on. others a matter of weeks or perhaps a few months until the crisis had passed and stability returned either by reconciling difficulties or moving on.
Yes, publish your work, by all means use a non-de-plume and an internet email address such as gmail or yahoo mail they are both free and easily deletable should the need arise.
There will always be those who will doubt your motives and some cannot resist interfering with other's lives. Stick true to your principles and you won't go far wrong. respect the law is it is. It's actually quite reasonable now. Yes you can ger 'used' sometimes but from others the genuine offer is appreciated and respected. The young do not always show their appreciation tangibly but the fact that they may return for more advice says a lot.
From experience,
Paul Jamison
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ah yeah, I went, I read, this is from the The Kinsey Institute's own website eh?
"There is no ‘test.’ The scale is purely a method of self-evaluation based on your individual experience, and the rating you choose may change over time.
The scale ranges from 0, for those who would identify themselves as exclusively heterosexual with no experience with or desire for sexual activity with their same sex, to 6, for those who would identify themselves as exclusively homosexual with no experience with or desire for sexual activity with those of the opposite sex, and 1-5 for those who would identify themselves with varying levels of desire or sexual activity with either sex."
Mark me as a 6.
Of course, for the record, I'll note that I am one of those pesky LGBT types who believe that you are either Gay or Bi and that there's no 'real' percentage or degree of being 'Gay.'
So you're saying you're 90% Gay remark sounds like fertilisation material to my "Gay" hearing.
For those of you that are interested here's the Kinsey Institute's URL:
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-hhscale.html
Now then, I'd like a cuppa as its cold as hell right now.......
[Updated on: Mon, 11 January 2010 15:13] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
saben
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
|
|
|
I'm only 25, but I have a preference for teens. So I kinda understand where you're coming from.
Just a few points:
Ephebophilia (attraction to roughly 15-19 year olds) is not considered a pathology according to the American Psychiatric Association DSM. It is normal and most adults, even adults that generally prefer other adults, have an attraction towards mid-late teens.
Morally how to act with younger people when you're attracted to them is difficult. The line between mentoring and grooming is ambiguous at times. But if have clear limits in your mind of acceptability then you can make sure you stay morally clear.
Legally if you like guys below the age of content you're safest to just avoid them. But that can be difficult at best and tortuous at worse. If you can't avoid them you need to know the relevant laws and have boundaries set. You've said you wouldn't do anything sexually with a younger guy, but there are laws that can potentially penalise non-sexual behaviour.
You're not a dirty old man, though. You're just someone with emotions and attractions that are difficult to manage, morally, legally and socially. If you feel sexual desires towards younger guys then just make sure they are legal. Nothing wrong if a 25 year old is interested in you and you act on that interest. Actually I believe in the UK the age of consent is 16, so it's only below that that you need to ensure you don't act. You will probably be rejected a lot by younger guys, though. That's how they are.
People can potentially make all kinds of assumptions about your sex life when you talk about attraction. So to avoid the paedophile tag I'd avoid talking about liking younger guys. Just find opportunities yourself to mentor and keep your feelings to yourself.
In my opinion, anyway.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As I've posted before, I'm not keen on the Kinsey scale - I think sexuality is more complex and varied than it allows for.
Personally, I find the Klein grid most useful tool when thinking about sexuality (usually when other people ask me about theirs: I'm entirely relaxed about my own!). I particularly like the way that Klein recognises that what we *do* is not necessarily what we *want*, and that what we have done is not necessarily what we are doing or will do.
As usual, here's a link to an on-line version: http://www.youthnetsouthampton.org.uk/breakout/kleingrid.php
As regards "percentage gay", I think it's a perfectly reasonable way - if limited - of regarding the Kinsey scale.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, NW, you are right of course.
All this labelling and classifying is a simplification and treating it as if it were an exact science and arguing about it turns it into a discussion of the meaning of words. I'd prefer to be thinking about what the world is like.
When an argument becomes a question of the meaning of words it simply calls for a dictionary - but since language changes all the time all dictionaries are out of date all the time.
But simplifications can lead to misunderstanding and an awful lot of people would say that 'gay' implies you are a man who has sex with men. By that definition many of us would not be allowed into the camp!
It's just not worth getting hot under the collar about labels.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Re: Not too old at 75. 
