I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Location: US/Canada
Registered: September 2009
Messages: 733
Suicide is one of the top three causes of death among young people (15 to 24-year-olds). Only accidents and homicides occur more frequently as causes of death among young people. LGBTQ youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. LGBTQ youth who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. With your help, The Trevor Project can continue Saving Young Lives.
Visit the Trevor Project's Facebook page [http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=24470472733&topic=7727 ] or their website [http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ ] for information on how to help them protect the lives of LGBT youth.
RELATED:Get Informed. Get Involved. Give a Damn about Suicide!
Join us at http://www.WEGIVEADAMN.org to learn more!
This month, LIly Tomlin, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Mae Whitman and Judith Light talk about why we all need to give a damn about the fact that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth are nearly 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers.
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
I give a damn, and have been giving so for over 25 years! I used to host an annual party for donation money and clothes for our homeless teens. Of which over 40% were homeless because they were gay! My forced retirement has hampered efforts of this last year only, I still provide what I can and hope I can do more. Yes, I am more focused on the gay children in the street, but I contribute to all the children on the street as well
I give a damn, which is why I prefer real, down to earth action to empty slogans.
Being a friend to ONE gay youth in trouble will accomplish more, in my opinion than making 10 videos, joining 100 sites or signing 200 petitions.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1560
Well, the two aren't necessarily exclusive. But yes, in general I agree: especially if the cumulative effect of what that single gay kid may go on to do is taken into account.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
They aren't mutually exclusive, but I felt that I wanted to make the point as we continue to discuss the future and nature of this "place of safety".
Because I do feel that this place has always emphasised individuals over campaigns, while other places are more for campaigning. I feel we need to nudge in the right direction if we want to restore former atmospheres.
I don't know that we can ever have the 2001-2006ish atmosphere or kind of membership here again. But I think even a lot of the current members would prefer and atmosphere that focuses more on individuals than campaigns.
The two aren't mutually exclusive- but for most people it's impossible to have one eye going left while the other goes right. You need to focus. And I think forums- especially forums without subforums need to focus.
I still want to see more of the individual Brody than the campaign Brody. I put a topic asking for advice out the other day and while many others responded he didn't. It feels like all Brody does here is campaign. He helps individuals in his real life- but why isn't he doing that here, too?
I'm sure a lot of people would feel more comfortable with Brody if they saw him do more of that. There's an implicit expectation, I think, that members of APOS do offer individual advice as much, if not more than they campaign. While here at this place of safety at least.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869
... and so should each and every one of us; but, I do think that Saben is the one really on the right track here. Yes, the campaigns, the celebrity pitches and endorsements, the parades, sit-ins and other demonstrations, all do help to further the cause of INCLUSION, NOT EXCLUSION; but, it is truly at the grassroots level the greatest impact is going to be felt, be that Worldwide or closest to home.
We really need to learn to "personalize" our efforts. As individuals, none of us are likely ever going to be able to shift World policy to any great degree, regardless of what the issue may be; but, we can, each and everyone of us, make a difference to "one" needful soul within our grasp. That person may be the abused child next door or two streets over, the homeless youth or adult in the park just down the block or around the corner, the mother or father and hers or his three hungry children eying you at the local green grocers barely able to afford a bag of potatoes whilst we are delighting in kumquats, endive and avocados. There are far too many examples; we've all experienced them to one degree or another as we go about our lives.
Think about it, and then give a damn.
How often do we ever stop and then reach out a helping hand by simply asking whether the child or adult in obvious distress is actually okay, or not? Ask whether we might be of assistance to someone struggling to get to their feet, or simply get across the road, or not? Wipe the tears from a crying child's eye, or not? Deliver a bag of groceries to a family desperate to put food on their table, or not? Tell a suicidal youth that they are not alone, and really, really, mean it? Be there for someone, regardless of their race, colour, religion, creed, age, sexual orientation or diminished financial circumstances, or not?
If we all really and truly gave a damn, and if we personalized the context of the caring, and we were only able to change for the better the life of one person; each and everyone of us, by the hundreds, the hundreds of thousands, the millions; and, we were doing this right in our own backyards, all over the World; just think about the impact that that could really have on changing perceptions globally about inclusion versus exclusion.
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Ontario
Location: U.S.A.
Registered: April 2007
Messages: 907
I wasn't able to prevent my 17 year old niece from committing suicide. But I have talked into the wee hours with a number of gay youth who believed they just couldn't continue on. It's a frightening feeling, knowing that someone is relying on you to give them a reason to face another bleak tomorrow.
I've pulled back from my internet correspondences and connections with teens because I no longer have the emotional strength to to continue on a one to one basis. But I still lend support on the gay forums I belong to and always have something in my signature that points towards help for despairing youth.
Saben is right, helping one youth on a one to one basis is worth signing a thousand petitions. But, not everyone is able (or capable) of providing that kind of support. So, write those letters and emails; work in whatever capacity you are able. Sign those thousand petitions. Better to do something than nothing.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
This place has never had a focus, though. One of the beauties is the ability to wander, though ideally not within the same thread. Take the topic, for example, of helping kids grow up to accept other kids, of any sexual orientation, and helping one gay kid be comfortable with himself.
The rifleman focusses on the kid who needs help. The kid is helped. That kid, with luck, helps others. This is direct action and is good. We have, individually and singly, helped a load in the past. Looking back in the archives will show that. You may, I think you do, consider yourself one such, though you were pretty much there with self help already. I think we did a little to help you.
The machine gunner has a tool that has poor aim and targeting. He wastes a lot of bullets, causes a lot of noise, and hits one or more targets by good fortune. That good fortune helps a kid or two, those kids may or may not realise that helping others is a good thing and may or may not help others. Nonetheless they have been helped. This is community campaign acton and is good. An example is The Trevor Project
I agree that, where possible, we need to be shown how to act in campaign in order that we may assume ownership of our part of it. I also argue that there is a place for displaying people who spew forth hate in order to expose their evil to more and more people. This does not "increase the amount of hate in the world." Instead it exposes the hate that is already there to public scrutiny.
I approve of all relevant campaigns against hatred against discrimination and for LGBT folk. By no means all of these require commentary, but many do. I approve of putting those who spout bigotry and hate under public scrutiny. I will support, personally, any cause I choose to in support of LGBT equality and I expect to post my support here as one of my outlets. I expect others to act according to their own ideals and needs.
None of these things define the forum by themselves. What defines the forum in major part is the way we all handle each other. It is by our conduct that we are judged, though our opinions also colour other people's judgment of us.
I think you may need to engage directly with Brody, not just you, but all who wish to learn more about him. He has not yet, for reasons he has not declared, felt it necessary to reveal more of himself to us as a community, though he reveals some to individuals who take the time in one to one communication. Some people will never feel comfortable to reveal themselves in public (or that it is necessary), some fall over themselves to do it.
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
This site is well served by Google and the also ran search engines. So are the sites linked to. We choose on this forum to let sites that are linked to inherit "page rank" (I am not about to explain it, search for it if you are unfamiliar).
iomfats.org as a site is updated by google with about a six week lag. The forum a little longer. So, if the post were time critical, search engines would pick it up too late. But they will pick it up, eventually. And those links lead to important places.
Search engines look at the relevance of inbound links and raise the importance of the linked to site in search engine results pages because of the inbound links, among other things.
Now, let's take a trip into December 2010 when the forum post has been indexed by Big G. G has raised the SERP position of the target sites by a smidgen because of the post. So when someone searches for something relevant to his loneliness he is a smidgen more likely to find one of those sites. It may be enough to make him take a route other than self harm.
"Bullshit!" I hear you cry.
But it is the way the beast works. That's why people post spam posts with links to all the forums they can find. It's why they do it to all the blog comments they can find.
This is not a masterclass in search engine optimisation. I can give you one of those if you like. I happen to be reasonably proficient in it.
So the post has done two things. It's alerted those who come here to the existence of the We Give A Damn project and it's raised, in six to eight weeks, the SERP position of the project a mini notch.
It doesn't matter if Brody is preaching to the choir or is pissing into the wind. A link is a link. And that kid in December may live because of the smidgen.
So might the one in January.
Someone else may show a friend in need.
None of them will ever have come here, nor know it exists.
So, before you disparage, it is a lot better to understand what it is that you are disparaging.
Location: US/Canada
Registered: September 2009
Messages: 733
This was sent to me roughly three days after I wrote my Op-Ed regarding this very subject matter from my covering that onerous Beckaplooza-Whitestock held in Washington on the 28th of last month. I am reprinting it here because it serves to illustrate several of Tim's points and shores up my thinking on why the material I post here and elsewhere serves a greater purpose.
I would point out the very last paragraph of this letter as the most important point made:
Dear Brody,
One suicide is one too many.
But three suicides in one year, within one school district, all by students who are gay or lesbian? That's nothing short of an epidemic, and it's the problem currently facing Minnesota's Anoka-Hennepin school district.
The most recent incident occurred in July, when a 15-year-old student took his own life. A concert cello player in his school's orchestra, the student was incessantly bullied because of his sexual orientation.
"I'm not asking you to accept this as a lifestyle for you," his grieving mother recently said in testimony before the Anoka-Hennepin school board. "I'm only asking that you please make the school safe for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students still alive and in this district today."
Statistics underscore the danger to LGBT students. Nationwide, gay youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual classmates, in large part because of toxic environments where anti-gay bullying can thrive. Nearly 90% of gay students have experienced harassment in school, and almost two-thirds say they feel unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Yet in the Anoka-Hennepin school district, a "neutrality" policy has tied the hands of school administrators and teachers to combat homophobia. This policy was put in place due to the influence of anti-gay groups such as the Parents Action League, which believes homosexuality is a behavior that can be cured, and it requires teachers and school officials to remain silent about subjects pertaining to sexual orientation.
Because of this anti-gay influence, the school board turned down a request by Minnesota's largest gay rights organization to conduct a district-wide anti-bullying program. And it prevented the district from taking action against two teachers who harassed a student believed to be gay until an investigation by the Minnesota Department of Human Rights intervened and punished the teachers.
Stopping the harassment of people based on their sexual orientation shouldn't be a liberal or conservative issue. It's a humanitarian issue, and can literally be a matter of life and death.
The only way to fight the suicide trend in the Anoka-Hennepin school district is by changing the climate in the district. Call on the Anoka-Hennepin school board to stop ignoring the problem and end the policy that prevents school officials from effectively dealing with anti-gay bullying.
Suicide doesn't occur in a vacuum. As we commemorate National Suicide Prevention Week this week, let us remember that we all have influence over the environment in which harassment thrives. If we sit idly by and do nothing, we're part of the problem.
] 
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