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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > The forgotten children
icon8.gif The forgotten children  [message #64204] Mon, 04 October 2010 11:51 Go to next message
chrisjames147 is currently offline  chrisjames147

Really getting into it
Location: U.S.
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 630



It was something Benji said, his comment about Street Teens in Las Vegas brought this to mind.

We have been focused on gay teens in high schools, bullied and assaulted until they see no hope in living. But there are children out there in even worse shape whose view of life seems hopeless.

http://news.stanford.edu/pr/91/911118Arc1054.html

Note the date on this study, it is ten years old. Does anyone believe things have become any better? In bad economic times money for food, shelters and medical care are one of the first things to be shut down, that only makes the problem worse.

Just how a young person becomes homeless, a cast off child from an uncaring and wretched family, I could not tell you. I'm sure the numbers are staggering here in the US alone, but no one counts them, it's as if they don't count at all.

These children are the victims of crime, by bullies, by parents and by strangers who take advantage of their desperation. Some of them are gay, tossed out of their homes for being a less than desireable child.

In all the hatred aimed at gay marriage I can only ask where are the parents of these children? Where does the responsibilty lie for raising these kids to adulthood? Wouldn't they be better off in a loving home even if the foster parents were gay?

62% of these homeless kids have contemplated suicide, that's a staggering number. Wouldn't a parent become an accomplice to the death of their child if they caused it?

I can understand why these children don't seek help from one of the many shelters, most of those are Christian based organizations. Even a child can see the hypocracy in seeking help from the same people who sanctified their parent's marriage and then did nothing to observe the results.

Christian religions need to clean their own houses before focusing their attentions on someone else's business. Marriage is a failed institution, not because of gay people, but because the much touted "one man, one woman" system is broken.

Any parent who throws an underage child out on the street needs to be publicly flogged, maybe not physically, but in the eyes of the community. Those that physically abuse their children should just be shot.

[Updated on: Mon, 04 October 2010 11:55]




Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64212 is a reply to message #64204] Mon, 04 October 2010 21:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751



May I refer you to Hermes and one of his early posts?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64213 is a reply to message #64212] Mon, 04 October 2010 23:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
chrisjames147 is currently offline  chrisjames147

Really getting into it
Location: U.S.
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 630



Please...point the way!



Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64214 is a reply to message #64213] Mon, 04 October 2010 23:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751



http://forum.iomfats.org/w-agora/view.php?bn=forumiomfatsorg_placeofsafety&key=1284331827&pattern=



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64219 is a reply to message #64214] Tue, 05 October 2010 04:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ray2x is currently offline  ray2x

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429



Good post, Timmy. It's just a jolting reminder how vunerable children are against such institutionalized bullying and poverty and demon parents.



Raymundo
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64221 is a reply to message #64204] Tue, 05 October 2010 07:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW

On fire!
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1560



Street-homeless kids are a growing problem in London: a lot of runaways / throwaways end up here thinking it will be better than the smaller communities they come from. And there are plenty of kids that don't show as street-homeless, because they are in squats, or crashing on the floor of assorted friends, dealers, pimps or casual pick-ups.

But assigning blame is not easy, and not really useful. I know of several people who have been forced to have an older drug-addicted kid taken into care and banned from any contact, for fear of having non-problem younger kids taken away from them. And such challenging kids simply don't last in care - they run away and live wild. I think that I would, in their circumstances!

And not all parents are in any position to care for kids. As some know, there is a 19-year-old in my life ... born HIV+, to heroin-addicted parents, a crack user since the age of 7 and a heroin addict since the age of 11, with resultant "developmental brain abnormalities" that cause severe ADHD, impaired cognitive functioning, and complex behavioural difficulties. His mother, who had custody, has been clean for years, but can help rather little because of risk to a younger child. So the lad frequently ran away to stay with the father, who he idolised, and who was sending him out to beg and steal for drugs from the age of seven ... and when the father died six years ago, things only got worse. The lad has been in and out of care, foster-homes, and Young Offender institutions for years. He fathered two kids by the age of 17, not having used a condom despite his HIV status, who he is banned from all contact with for the time being.

It's a typical and sorry story of a cycle of deprivation. The lad's mother is now clean and doing her best, but it's a struggle for her with a six-year-old child at home, and a dependent partner (who is currently waiting for a liver transplant due to years of drug and alcohol abuse, though he too is now largely clean).

The lad? He's been living with me since February when he was very ill, with what turned out to be TB. He's more-or-less stable on a prescribed heroin substitute, more-or-less not stealing, more-or-less focussing on thinking about what kind of a future he can build for himself (and for us together). He's still unsure of his sexuality, veering between identifying as bisexual, and being scared of this as unfitting. We are, of course, not lovers, but are very much part of each others lives for the foreseeable future as "partners". Some here are following our daily lives on my blog at http://www.nickweeks.net/blogging

Sometimes, there aren't any easy answers. Not all street-kids are angels! Sometimes, however much (or little) society tries, there are kids who don't fit, and will evade whatever safety nets we put in place, and the ways we try to help ... and who are we to say they are wrong? But what we can do, and must do, is everything we can to make sure that no kid ends upon the street through having no alternatives, and that all such kids have access to outreach teams to make it easy for them if and when they decide to re-engage with conventional society. And, of course, we must do whatever we can (subject to self-preservation) when such kids cross our paths as we go through life.



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64222 is a reply to message #64204] Tue, 05 October 2010 08:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



It makes me wonder why are these kids being forced to reunite with their parents?

Street kids have proven themselves to be capable and independent and able to fend for themselves.

Why not give them the legal right to property, to employment, etc?

Instead of trying to make an untenable home situation work let them have their own homes.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64223 is a reply to message #64222] Tue, 05 October 2010 08:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW

On fire!
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1560



Saben wrote:

> Instead of trying to make an untenable home situation work let them have their own homes.

For some, that works. For many others, it doesn't. The lad who lives with me previously had his own (council-provided) bedsit ... he ended up with a couple of older guys moving in with him, using the place as a crack-house, bullying him and sending him out to steal, taking his social security payments ... so the lad went back on the street. He doesn't have the social skills or experience to deal with assertive and agressive people who mean him harm.

That, in turn, of course has put a lot of strain on me to make sure that I don't accidentally force him into things that he's not really happy with, while encouraging him to do basic things like attend medical and drug appointments ...



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: The forgotten children  [message #64224 is a reply to message #64223] Tue, 05 October 2010 08:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



Yeah.

I'm not saying its a silver bullet. Just that it might help get some kids off the streets. Not sure about those that started with hard drugs at 7 and had 2 junkie parents and no other support.

In some ways (and without trying to be condescending or offensive) someone in that situation is almost akin to someone that has a mental disability. I'm talking about having functional capacity and knowledge to function in society here. The totally destructive parenting they've experienced has left them as social "retards".

Interesting that these kids, even given such massive neglect and abuse by parents are still able to learn language. Even if their numeracy and literacy skills are low.

I don't know what to do about street kids that aren't just runaways but have been systematically neglected and abused. I really lack any real knowledge or expertise about those cases.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
However backhandedly, this issue ...  [message #64228 is a reply to message #64204] Tue, 05 October 2010 11:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... has been featured here in two threads of recent memory, and likely more over the years. I repeat, for those who may have missed them the first time around, and may be interested in pursuing them, links to the aforementioned threads.

http://forum.iomfats.org/w-agora/index.php?site=forumiomfatsorg&bn=forumiomfatsorg_placeofsafety&key=1255295427&action=view

http://forum.iomfats.org/w-agora/index.php?site=forumiomfatsorg&bn=forumiomfatsorg_placeofsafety&key=1283473683&action=view

"Street Kids" and the endemic homelessness amongst them is a very real problem, as Chris' reprise of the Stanford University 1991 article illustrates.

The situation for these youngsters has altered not one iota in the intervening 20-years, and apparently not likely going to in the next twenty; not until, and unless, we as a society become virulently PROACTIVE, and demand that solutions be found.

Taking an aggressive posture against BULLYING, in general, and all abuse of persons in particular, regardless of its' source is a beginning; but, it represents only that, just a beginning; a first step.

Clearly, in addition to removing the largest single cause of our youngsters winding up on the streets, unsupported, and under served with respect to their overall welfare and emerging needs should be, and is, a priority; but, it is now, and will be for the foreseeable future, also necessary that a suitable government funded social safety-net be established to address these needs.

I give you by example: Toronto, Canada, the mid-1980's. The largest publicly accessible day-hostel servicing transient youngsters is closed; with no suitable alternative being provided. Not for lack of either the funding or the need; but, simply because the City wanted the land at the corners of College and Bay Streets upon which they intended on erecting the new Metropolitan Police Headquarters Building. The deal was done. The Hostel (an intrinsic component of the then Central Toronto YMCA) was closed, the Province ponied up the necessary alternative parcel of "Crown" land, not to house a facility that would encompass Hostelry facilities, but the new, 10's of millions dollars, LUXURY Central Metropolitan Toronto YMCA, whose memberships would eventually cost in the ten's of hundreds of dollars, and not that of the more reasonably accessible less than $100 annual fee of its' predecessor. In the process, more than 200 much needed hostel beds were lost forever; and the message therein being transmitted was heard loud and clear that our youngsters didn't really matter a jot in the larger scheme of things. I should mention too, the original day-hostel was located in the heart of what then was, and continues to be, Toronto's "Boys Town".

In the wake of this travesty, organizations like Covenant House (newly arrived on the Toronto scene), Eva's Place (themselves just getting started as an organization with not facilities on the horizon for 5-years or more), Second Base (grossly under funded, and then struggling in Toronto's East-end), and Youth Without Shelter (West-end Toronto's then only solution and patently overcrowded and forgotten), and host of others scrambled to pick up the slack; a circumstance 20-years later which all find themselves still scrambling.

By the way, Toronto's new 10's of hundreds million dollars Opera House (also on "Crown" Land") was erected right next door the the YMCA building some 15-years later; too Queen's Park, the seat of the Provincial Government Legislature, and attendant government offices are not quite a block away, as are four of Toronto's most luxurious Hotel, Dining and Shopping complexes.

Toronto (and collectively the other two levels of government) evidently have more than a billion dollars of funding available to secure the bodies of the Group of 20 recently when hosting their annual conference, this over and above the half-a-billion or so spent housing and feeding them, and their retinue, and providing venues for them to conference in; but, there is no money with which to build suitable housing for our most at-risk, and largely ignored, abused and discarded youth and adults.

Go figure!

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada

[Updated on: Wed, 06 October 2010 05:48]




"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
"Part 8" is correupted and failed upload ...  [message #64238 is a reply to message #1286328781] Wed, 06 October 2010 05:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




instead view instead Part 8 - A and then Part 8 - B; the original Part 8 represents only a portion of the re-upped Part 8 - A; follow these with the normal Part 9.





Why the failed upload was never deleted we'll never know; but, he did correct it, so everything is good.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada

[Updated on: Wed, 06 October 2010 05:18]




"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
Have downloaded all 11 parts ...  [message #64239 is a reply to message #1286328781] Wed, 06 October 2010 05:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... and am presently recomposing the film and and merging the parts as one contiguous *.avi-file. I'll let you know my impression tomorrow evening after I've viewed the result.

First impression: Powerful stuff.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
Are you suggesting that you would like ...  [message #64240 is a reply to message #64239] Wed, 06 October 2010 05:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... me to send you the recomposited film or that you have an original source *.avi-file for the film.

If the former, I can have a copy of it uploaded to my Host File-server early during the day and send you the links accordingly; if the latter, I'll send you the routing codes and password to the Host File-server and you can upload it directly.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
Been there, done that ...  [message #64241 is a reply to message #64240] Wed, 06 October 2010 14:10 Go to previous message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... with the film now in the can.

I will maintain the film (a Region 2, PALRip, EAN: 9786303321042) on the file-server should you wish to share the link with others.

For those wishing to either rent, or purchase, the vidéo, I provide the following:

Releasing Studio: FOX Lorber Home Vidéo/New World Home Vidéo/LCA/Angelika Films/Bear Creek/Angelika T. Saleh
Vidéo Release Dates: 1988 (New World, Original release)/1990? (LaserDisc, no other data available)/1995 (FOX Lorber, Region 1 Re-issue)/1997 (FOX Lorger, Region 2)
Directed by Martin Bell
EAN/UPC: 9786303321042/720917011578
VHS; LaserDisc; No Known DvD Release

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088196/

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada

[Updated on: Wed, 06 October 2010 14:12]




"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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