A Place of Safety
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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > iomfats seems so different
icon5.gif iomfats seems so different  [message #65632] Fri, 29 April 2011 13:15 Go to next message
Cameron is currently offline  Cameron

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70



Please don't take this as negative criticism, but I haven't been here in a while and I am shocked by how different it is. It is not necessarily a bad change, although it makes me sad. It seems like most of the posts are 'gay activists' kind of things. Obviously, I support gay rights, but, where are the friendly conversations? The jokes, the funny stories, the fun? It used to seem more like a boy's club, fraternity or pub. Please don't attack me, I just came back after a long absence and I didn't recognize the place.
You're not wrong about the "feel" of this place ...  [message #65633 is a reply to message #65632] Fri, 29 April 2011 15:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... it has changed, or rather morphed into a whole other being; which as you've stated is not a "bad" thing; but, simply not quite what you expected upon your return.

A Place Of Safety has evolved, just as surely as the entire media of Social Networking is ever changing (evolving if you will), so too it would seem must all else in order that it might survive. Unfortunately that sense of fun and camaraderie you speak of sort of got lost in the shuffle, as all too often the features most worthwhile about many of the older venues (once popular and often a driving force in the march to the new Social Media) are abandoned in favour of expediency. We have none other than ourselves to thank for these changes; we allowed them to happen; we were silent, when it was critical that we not be.

I would like to see a return to that kinder, gentler time; but, sadly that is not likely to happen; the likes of the old, community Forums such as was evidenced by A Place Of Safety in its' hey-day, have given way to the 8-second sound-bite, and the hypocrisy of the Facebooks and Twitters and whatnot, and perhaps that is as it should be. Social interaction on any large scale has become superficial, so why not the media where we congregate too.

My best advice to you Cameron, and to all the other youth who from time to time frequent here, if you want warmth, friendliness, a sense of fun, of camaraderie, then speak up. Let you voices be heard; your desires known; begin a NEW DIALOGUE, and who knows just what might transpire of it.

Whilst A Place Of Safety has become some what of an old fogies hangout, those of us who remain do pine for the olden days; we want that warmth, fun and camaraderie just as much as you perhaps do too; but, because of our ages we are reluctant to ever say so for want of being seen to be pandering to the youngsters, and all that that would entail.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
Re: You're not wrong about the "feel" of this place ...  [message #65634 is a reply to message #65633] Fri, 29 April 2011 16:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Cameron is currently offline  Cameron

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70



Thanks Warren, your stories are part of what's missing. You, timmy and Saben are the only names I recognized. Maybe, the others are still hanging around just waiting for the next joke or music contest. Or better yet, one of your stories! No one can tell a story like you, Warren.
Re: You're not wrong about the "feel" of this place ...  [message #65636 is a reply to message #65634] Fri, 29 April 2011 21:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
chrisjames147 is currently offline  chrisjames147

Really getting into it
Location: U.S.
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 630



Hello Cameron, Chris here...

In regards to your posting: I came to Iomfats to post my stories and found the forum to be quite the bonus. It didn't take long to discover that many of the members had been here quite some time, so I read for a while.

I can't speak to the past history of the forum, but current affairs with a direct impact on the gay community seem to predominate. The news is not always nice, it does get oppressive. But I do understand Timmy's need to express his feelings and the responses can get heated.

I do like to post my thoughts as well, often they get irate, more often they are silly. I would much rather offer a smile whenever possible. Like some of the others I also participate in other discussion groups. Between that and the story writing I seem to have less time to post lengthy responses to some of the things I read here.

Warren has always presented thoughtful material. He poses some interesting questions and always follows up with a good deal of information on the subject. As expected, Timmy is the conscience of the forum and seems to have a wide level of interest in world affairs of the gay kind. And although he often seems to be shouting, Brody is on top of current news and often expresses his painful contemplation of the world with some wicked humor.

In all, this is a place worth reading, visiting and adding your own contribution. I don't know how long you have been away, but welcome back.



Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
The reason for the apparent change  [message #65637 is a reply to message #65632] Sat, 30 April 2011 07:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



The answer is simple. Instead of posting other things people who feel that being reminded that we need to be gay activists is objectionable have chosen not to post. It is the lack of posting that changes a place far more than the post of the things they do not wish to hear.

I am surprised by their lack of posting, and yet I am not. People often fear hearing difficult things and, instead of leavening such things with matters of their own, bury their heads in the sand.

There is a place for fripperies, frivolities and serious items here. It seems that the light hearted folk have forgotten that. And so the forum changes character. It is neither better nor worse than it was. It is just that those who post are a different set of people.

[Updated on: Sat, 30 April 2011 11:31]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: iomfats seems so different  [message #65638 is a reply to message #65632] Sat, 30 April 2011 11:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



I should add that, for it to become a place of fun again simply requires fun posts. The challenge is that many people want a reaction to their post. They feel slighted if reaction comes there none. SO a fun post unanswered may make the posted choose, yes choose, to feel discouraged.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: iomfats seems so different  [message #65645 is a reply to message #65632] Sun, 01 May 2011 03:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



People move on, and most of the past members have moved on.

Without those members there's not really anything unique about this place anymore.

But such is the internet. I've seen sites, forums and communities rise and fall within a year. At least iomfats' doors are still open if people want to come- even if it's a bit chilly and drafty.



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: iomfats seems so different  [message #65646 is a reply to message #65645] Sun, 01 May 2011 09:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



Saben wrote:
> People move on, and most of the past members have moved on.
>
> Without those members there's not really anything unique about this place anymore.

That's not right, though. It has simply lost previous members. That doesn't stop it from being unique. It matters not one jot who posts here. What matters is whether people post here or not. What matters is what and how they post. What matters is how they behave. WHat matters is what each brings to the party.

As for uniqueness, why would it ever need to have been or to be unique?

It has changed before. It will change again. Only those who post can change it.

[Updated on: Sun, 01 May 2011 09:36]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Cameron, "flattery" will get you almost anything ...  [message #65648 is a reply to message #65634] Sun, 01 May 2011 16:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... but, sadly not likely one of my stories. They alone require that a question be posed where some reminiscence from my varied life experience just might hold the solution to a pressing need when most earnestly desired.

Hot damn! That was quite a mouthful and all rather too pedantic. What I had hoped to have expressed was something a little lighter in tone, so here goes.

If you ask an entirely off-the-wall question, and I take a fancy to it, I just might, have something "lengthy" to say about it.

"Take Two" was much better than Take One.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
And whilst you're awaiting ...  [message #65649 is a reply to message #65634] Sun, 01 May 2011 16:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... one of my "stories", perhaps you share some of what has been going on in your life in the interval.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
Re: And whilst you're awaiting ...  [message #65650 is a reply to message #65649] Sun, 01 May 2011 16:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Cameron is currently offline  Cameron

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70



My life pretty much sucks, Warren. That's probably why I always liked reading about yours. That and your personal writing style. I think it's a lost art. I definitely don't have it.

I can see my post was perceived negatively by some. I truly didn't mean it that way, though I feared it might be. That is why I tried to word it carefully. I failed. I apologize.
Re: And whilst you're awaiting ...  [message #65651 is a reply to message #65650] Sun, 01 May 2011 17:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



I found it very positive Smile



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
I found nothing untoward ...  [message #65652 is a reply to message #65651] Mon, 02 May 2011 02:26 Go to previous message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... in your feeling that things here at A Place Of safety were different; simply because they are; too, your comments were most thoughtfully composed, and not at all negative; or at least not in a derogatory tone.

This Forum is now what it is, nothing more and nothing less; that it is not as was before is simply a function as Timmy says of it's participants and their contributions, and not of any intentioned metamorphosis. It could well again be whatever we desire it to be.

Now, let me live however vicariously through your carrying's on. What have you been up to?

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada



"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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