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Once in a Lifetime  [message #74125] Wed, 07 March 2018 11:18 Go to next message
ivor slipper is currently offline  ivor slipper   United Kingdom

Really getting into it

Registered: September 2013
Messages: 410



On checking earlier with Tim I was disappointed to learn that the chapter of this serial by About a Boy that appeared on Monday, was the last.

It was a pleasure to read such a well written story about Zach and Eric's holiday that turned into a slow voyage of discovery - both of self and each other - as their relationship began to change from that of lifelong childhood best friends to, perhaps, something else.

I don't want to spoil the story for anyone else, so go and read it for yourself. I'm sure you will not be disappointed.


Ivor.
Re: Once in a Lifetime  [message #74126 is a reply to message #74125] Wed, 07 March 2018 12:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13280



I'm linking to Once In A Lifetime, and to About a Boy

I'm hoping he has enjoyed his first exposure here and will send us some more tales. Obviously he does not always write inside our niche. Perhaps you all might encourage him?



Inconsistent use of capital letters is the difference between Bobby helping Uncle Jack off a horse, AND Bobby helping uncle jack off a horse!
Re: Once in a Lifetime  [message #74692 is a reply to message #74126] Mon, 13 August 2018 14:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Joe4fun is currently offline  Joe4fun   United States

Getting started

Registered: August 2018
Messages: 22



I sent a thank you email to the author about the story "once in a lifetime"
It brought back some very happy memories of natural exploration at that age.
I will encourage him to write more, in the meantime can I share my comments here?
Re: Once in a Lifetime  [message #74693 is a reply to message #74692] Mon, 13 August 2018 16:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13280



"Joe4fun wrote on Mon, 13 August 2018 15:55"
I sent a thank you email to the author about the story "once in a lifetime"
It brought back some very happy memories of natural exploration at that age.
I will encourage him to write more, in the meantime can I share my comments here?

--
The answer is that you may share your comments with pleasure, recognising that we strive to encourage authors. Even a potentially negative comment may be phrased in a positive manner. An example:
  • "You use too many adverbs!" (if the author does so) provides a factual statement but is unhelpful.
  • "If you limit your use of adverbs and use instead language that shows us rather than tells us then I think you will gain more loyal readers." provides a factual statement with not just a problem but a solution as well

Adverbs, unless in dialogue, are a literary no-no, whatever we were taught in school, so I am using them as a very general example of what might be said. They are valid grammar, but a prose passage (rather than dialogue) is almost always better without them.

Those wanting to discuss adverbs per se please start a new thread




Inconsistent use of capital letters is the difference between Bobby helping Uncle Jack off a horse, AND Bobby helping uncle jack off a horse!
Re: Once in a Lifetime  [message #74697 is a reply to message #74693] Mon, 13 August 2018 17:19 Go to previous message
Joe4fun is currently offline  Joe4fun   United States

Getting started

Registered: August 2018
Messages: 22



my comments are not based on the literary quality of the story,
more a recollection of something similar that happened to me.
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