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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize
The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75584] Thu, 28 February 2019 13:08 Go to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

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Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
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You have to read The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize and, when you have, please add to the comments!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75585 is a reply to message #75584] Thu, 28 February 2019 18:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW   United Kingdom

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Location: Worcester, England
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The article is, of course, complete crap. And for the author to try to show unhappy gay men how they can buy into an outdated stereotype of performing masculinity (rather than helping them accept themselves however they are) is in my view deeply unethical.



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75586 is a reply to message #75585] Thu, 28 February 2019 18:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
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Th more of us who give him indivudual criticism the more he may run for cover. I think he wants to sell his book about SHAME, so he is creatimg some.  Maybe he coudl be struck off for that!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75590 is a reply to message #75586] Thu, 28 February 2019 22:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joecasey is currently offline  joecasey   United States

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So, this magazine has now become "Pop Psychology Today?"

I pride myself as a gay man on NOT having to conform to societally-based gender stereotypes - for either straight or gay men.  I don't feel the need to compete in order to assuage any kind of guilt; I would rather see a society where men and woman can cooperate to get things done rather than to compete.  I gained a great deal of freedom after I came out and no longer felt the need to "butch" it up in order to convince others that I was something that I was not.  The author states that he can only write in generalities.  He certainly did.
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75591 is a reply to message #75590] Thu, 28 February 2019 23:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13074



"joecasey wrote on Thu, 28 February 2019 22:59"
So, this magazine has now become "Pop Psychology Today?"

I pride myself as a gay man on NOT having to conform to societally-based gender stereotypes - for either straight or gay men.  I don't feel the need to compete in order to assuage any kind of guilt; I would rather see a society where men and woman can cooperate to get things done rather than to compete.  I gained a great deal of freedom after I came out and no longer felt the need to "butch" it up in order to convince others that I was something that I was not.  The author states that he can only write in generalities.  He certainly did.

--
He needs to hear this as part of the comments there, Joe, though I suspect he may not be reading his comment string

I happen to be me, too. I didn't change when I came out because I am comfortable as me. Those who need to reinvent themselves, go for it, and those somewhere between, that's fine too



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75593 is a reply to message #75591] Sat, 02 March 2019 01:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Gray   United States

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Location: Ohio
Registered: April 2017
Messages: 5



I think that Psychology Today is the pretty much epitome of pop psychology, and has been since its inception. Since I didn't read past the second paragraph of the referenced article, I can't comment on its declared topic.

I gave up on the article when I observed that the first paragraph makes generalizations about gay men in general using weasel words and phrases, while the second attempts to support those conclusions with observations regarding a tiny self-selected subset of gay men those who consulted the author. Even given this small sample, any statement about "every gay man I've seen" seems highly unlikely to be true.

More on weasel words and phrases:

"Many, if not most" is a sly attempt to suggest "almost all," but "many" actually means "more than three" and "not most" means "less than half." An honest restatement of the first sentence would replace the first four words with "Some."

"They may have been" is actually a signal which says, "The following may or may not be true. I have no evidence I'm just guessing." The opposite of the containing statement is equally true, and just as pointless.
Re: The Ways Gay Men Are More Masculine Than They Realize  [message #75594 is a reply to message #75593] Sat, 02 March 2019 07:25 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13074



Oh do tell him that. I wish I'd analysed it properly!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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