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It could have been yesterday. It could have been a week, or a month ago. It's not important.
I found a link somewhere to a young man's webpage, or maybe even a boy's, I'm not sure. A place where he intended to put bits and pieces of himself in the form of poetry and stories. There wasn't much. The design was spartan if pretty stylish in a modest kind of way, pale blue, bluish grey. Dark slate grey. Colors like that. A spinning logo at the top of the left navbar, not much else.
I read the story he'd posted. It was about a haunted highschool kid, a boy whose life seemed strangely lacking in some respect he couldn't quite come to grips with. He'd recently met a young man together with a long-standing friend of his; a girl who was going out of control despite having everything going for her. Popularity, good looks, wealth were hers already, but it didn't matter. Booze, drugs, detention in school was the life she lived now. She was a girl who had decided that she didn't give a shit anymore, nothing relly mattered. Feelings the highschool kid was starting to feel to resonate more and more in himself too.
Both friends had a crush on that same young man, though where one of them could speak about it openly, about the yearning and the bubbly feelings that was felt, the other could not. He wished he wasn't created the way he was, but unable to change it. Unable to accept it too, at least fully. All he knew was that he wanted this young man, despite his female friend expressing the exact same feelings.
The kid and his female friend were going to a private party with the young man, with just the three of them, when the story ended.
The author said, part two had become too long so he decided to split it. However, the second half of part two had never been posted... Last update to the site was at the very end of 2002, where the author complained about his computer acting up and not letting him onto the web. That he had to do that very post from a friend's box. He did hint at great, exciting things happening with the site in the new year though.
Things that never happened. The page looks exactly the same now as it did three months ago.
I clicked the message board link in the navbar. A new browser window opened, along with a huge popup ad. I closed the ad so I could see the board. Three forums were available. Information, general discussion and fan writings. The information forum had one post. The general discussion forum had four. The writing forum, zero. They had all been made very long ago.
I decided to check the information forum first. One click on a link and another huge popup ad later, I was looking at the only post there. A welcoming post.
I clicked it and closed the new popup that appeared. The post made by the site owner spoke of the place being open for business, invited people to go ahead and post and enjoy themselves, and told of great things about to happen soon at his site. He also said he was 'looking for a few mods for the community' (not exact quote) that he apparantly expected, or at least hoped would spring up centered around his little home on the web.
I clicked the 'back' button on my mouse (yes I got one of them fancy multi-button things), and another popup slapped me in the face. I scanned the forum page, for no real reason. It stated there were four registred users. The contributions chest held zero dollars.
I felt so sad. Was this just a naive kid wishing for too much? What use are moderators when there isn't a community to moderate? Did he feel bitter disappointment when nobody stepped up to the plate and offer their services? Did he lose hope entirely when nobody really posted at all?
I felt SO sad! He was the proud owner of a deserted forum. You could almost see the tumbleweed roll by on some random journey from somewhere to nowhere, pushed by a dusty, cold wind streaking past abandoned buildings glumly lit in evening twilight... Somewhere, a swinging door creaked, but no people were to be seen.
I felt a desperate need to get to know this person, find out who he is. If he has the same feelings of helplessness and loneliness as the boy in his story, and if so to cradle him up to my chest and comfort him. To hold him close and show him there are people who do care, and that he isn't as alone as he himself might think.
I fled his ghost town of a site almost in panic, nearly in tears myself... However, I did send him an email saying I really liked the story and hoped he'd continue it.
There hasn't been a reply yet.
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Hi Lenny ...
I just got done reading your post here ..
I was wondering if you could send me the link to his site ..
I would like to take a look around ..and just maybe I could help him with getting his forum on it way ..
maybe there are so more people here that would help too ..
I know what it feels like not to have anyone check out your forum so I would be happy to help him ..anyway if you would do that for me .. I will see if I can help him ..
thanks ..
Rick ..
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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Must be so dispiriting. Will you send me the link too, please, Lenny? Or even post it on the MB. He sounds as if he needs all the encouragement he can get, poor chap.
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Hey me too... I would like the link also 
~Andy~
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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I would love to have the URL also Lenny. I know how it feels to HAVE no one come to your site.. I once had a birthday party, I invited 8 ppl and no one came... excuses but I knew their parents didnt want them to be with the lil mad kid..
I would like to help
People have a habit of changing your direction through life
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I have been in a situation where as an optimistic young youth I have sought to create a webpage revolving around one topic or another through my years online. Many, many attempts, many, many failures. Does this make me sad? No, I'm glad for the things I learnt from it. It is a pity that the statement made by this person goes unheard, but there are always going to websites that people never find, or websites that people don't care to visit. People are seldom willing to endure pop-ups when viewing a site, especially if the sort of site they desire is more than a quick stop to find some info. Some sites manage to pull through the initial stages of growth, but most don't. Most are doomed to remain dead on geocities and EZboard for years to come. Such is the way of things.
It is strange that the guy disappeared, but the internet is fickle, so many times I've had people disappear and others slowly fade away. I usually try to hope for the best for them though and hope that they have moved on to bigger and better things with the knowledge taught them online. In the case of this young man, let's hope he has been able to open up to someone about his feelings and that they have been well received. Maybe by finding peace in reality he no longer had a need to ease his pain through words.
I do know the feeling of visiting ghost sites, though, quite often I'll visit the ruins of a once great website that people have talked about, message boards neglected since late 2000, it does make me sentimental and sad to think that I missed what was there, but one needs not to let sentimentality turn to regret. I also will look back on sites and message boards I used to visit as an internet newbie, it is great to see how much I've grown, let's just hope the future has much more growth in store.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Hi ...I was hoping you would have post the link here by now ..
I would really like to take a look at his site and too see what could be done to help him out .. If you could do that ...but if you can't I will understand ..
take care ..
Rick ..
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Hey Lenny, when are you going to post the link mate?? We would like to help also?
People have a habit of changing your direction through life
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