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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > The phrase "Same Sex Attraction"
The phrase "Same Sex Attraction"  [message #67232] Tue, 11 December 2012 16:17 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751



I'm in email correspondence with a very nice chap who enjoys in a professional sense, our pages on Anal Sex. I don't mean he's a hooker! I mean that he is a sexual therapist, a proper professional. As we got talking he used the words 'Same Sex Attraction'. It's a phrase I have difficulty with. So I need to explain before I ask my question.

My experience of usage of 'Same Sex Attraction' is with the "compartmentalise the queers before recommending reparative therapy for them" brigade, the rogues, quacks and charlatans of the ex gay liars and scam artists. A Google search for the phrase reinforces that view. I find they use it as a shorthand which demeans those who are attracted to the same sex. The term is accurate. We are attracted to the same sex, but the way it's been deployed makes 'Same Sex Attraction' tainted, certainly to me. I've asked him to consider the phrase in his work and whether it has a place. He's a decent bloke, and he's asked what one might replace it with. What he's said to me is:
"Quote:"
What term do you suggest in place of SSA?  I used it because I can use it in a passive voice...or a non-active verb description. It has been less accusatory than "Do you feel attracted to men?"  That is such a scary place for so many men to go. "Having" something, seems to objectify it...it's not me...so I can regard it from a distance before owning it.  I'm just seeking a safe way to term being attracted to men that will open doors.

I understand his question. I made him some sort of reply:
"Quote:"
I think I would stay flat. "it's not uncommon sometimes to feel attracted to other people of the same sex. It's pretty much normal, really. Have you (wondered if you / thought that you might have) felt that at times?" There are sufficient wriggle words in that type of phrasing to allow them to become comfortable with starting to identify with part of it.

I am, though, a single person and I may be uniquely upset by the phrase I dislike. So I would like to open this to the floor. The chap I'm talking to is one of the good guys. How would you advise him in this area? I'm asking because the answers might allow him to help someone in pain, in need. I'm not correct, nor are you, but together we are better than apart.

[Updated on: Tue, 11 December 2012 16:25]



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
 
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