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Fear  [message #70978] Wed, 03 February 2016 02:49 Go to previous message
James Matthews is currently offline  James Matthews

Toe is in the water
Location: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2015
Messages: 93




Fear - Your biggest![ 7 votes ]
1. Losing your Job 0 / 0%
2. Knowing you will die one day. 1 / 14%
3. Losing a loved one before you die. 1 / 14%
4. Breaking up with your partner 0 / 0%
5. Find out your significant other will cheat on you. 0 / 0%
6. Getting ready to walk into work. 0 / 0%
7. Being Poor. 0 / 0%
8. Getting Cancer. 1 / 14%
9. Losing your mind. (dementia) 1 / 14%
10. Not being able to maintain an erection. 0 / 0%
11. Never being debt free. 0 / 0%
12. Fearing you may have already had the best day of your life and will never have it again. 2 / 29%
13. A nuclear war. 0 / 0%
14. being trapped in a job or relationship you can't get out of. 0 / 0%
15. Someone finds out you are Gay! 1 / 14%

So recently I have been going through a hard time at my work. I have just gone in for what we call an "end of year appraisal." It is designed so that your manager can give you feedback on how the year has gone and what you did well in and where improvements need to be made. Regardless of what the positives and the negatives balance out as at your manager is still supposed to let you leave that room feeling positive and motivated for the coming year!

This however has not been the case with me and I have never felt so deflated in all my time at the Company. The thing thats has troubled me is, having worked for the same company for many years I have always had an idea of my own performance for the year and a decent manager should be telling you if your expectations are pretty much in line with the company. Well Lets just say that I walked in positive thinking yep, I have done really well for the year and done things that are even outside my job role so I cant lose. I've been polite, a team player, done stuff in my own time at home and I'm approachable. What more could I have done. Well, apparently I have failed big time because as a junior manager I have not been apparently authority driven enough and there have been a few complaints about me... maybe 3. So these two things have dragged me down and I walked out of there stunned. Never had I had just two stupid things bring down my whole rating before.

My point to all this is a fear I have now. Since having this end of year review and hating it for being unjust and unfair I have just been going through the motions. My moods have been stark and I don't feel I can put my best into a company that clearly doesn't give two hoots about what this has done to me. I am seriously looking to leave now after hearing that debacle. My fear also is that I will grow to detest the building I work in and all those around me. This is not and has not been something I can shake myself out of because I feel so aggrieved. I will either be fired for my attitude soon, Need to look for another job or just have eat some humble pie. All three of these options scare me and I thought I would see what other thought about their fears. As people go through life one fear may over take another but right now if you look at my poll, what is your main fear?

 

[Updated on: Thu, 04 February 2016 20:02] by Moderator
 
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