I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
He has a major point. We are human first. Whether I find feminine gays attractive or not is not relevant. I don't like Essex girls much either. But they are also people. I refuse to discriminate against any portion of humanity if I can possibly avoid it. Except the French, of course, and fundamentalist bigots, oh, and others!
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Registered: September 2010
Messages: 127
There seens to be quite a bit of cultural adherence to expected behaviour in these matters.
Now before we all get upset, let me explain that I mean there is a confusion of the sociological role playing with the inherent nature of the individual.
Femme and butch are social roles, adopted by straights as much as by gays.
An individual may be quiet, sensitive, intoverted, while another person maybe extroverted, outgoing and somewhat bombastic in personality.
Either of these two (including those who fall between these extremes) may adopt social roles of effimancy or masculinity, much like an actor in portraying a role on stage or screen.
However it is important to realise that the individual can remain neutral in how they present themselves, or they can adopt a role with which they feel comfortable or which suits them, and they may change over time, or in different locales.
There was certainly a tendency for women in the 19th century to be fey, and helpless, and have 'an attack of the vapours' to attract Victorian men, who were expected to be waffling gentlemen even if they were considered to be dandies.
It is worth mentioning, too, that in ancient Greece, effeminate men were often the butts of jokes by the more masculine men who were lovers of each other.
We often forget that societies demand we fit in into roles for the sake of the culture. Where these roles are self imposed or freely adopted, we may sometimes become indignant and defensive if they are challenged.
Sensitive, intelligent, empathic, human beings, are not always in fashion as a social model let alone as a role for individuals to adopt.
I guess I would say I don't like gay rednecks anymore than I like straight rednecks, but acceptance of an individual's self expression is paramount, even if I perceive that submitting to a social persona can stifle the potential and development to just be ourselves.
[Updated on: Wed, 04 May 2011 21:57]
DesDownunder
Call me naive if you want, but life without trust in the goodness of others would be intolerable.
Religious indoctrination: It gets better, without it.
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FEMME Gays give the community a bad rep? 
