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I passed by the nursing home & there were six
old ladies lying naked in the
front grass. I thought this was a little
peculiar, but continued on my
way because it's a long walk & I wanted to get
it over with before it
got truly hot again today.
On my way back, the ladies were still lying in
the yard & to quench my
curiosity, I went inside & asked to speak to the
director of the facility. When I asked him if he
knew
there were 6 naked old ladies
lying on his front lawn, he replied, "Yes, I know.
They're retired
prostitutes & they're having a yard sale!"
Hugs, Charlie
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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No Message Body
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Subject: Kids and the Old and New Testaments
> This supposedly comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions
> about the Bible. They have not been retouched or
> corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) And even if somebody made them up, they're still pretty funny anyhow... Enjoy!
>
> * In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired
> of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
>
> * Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's
> wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the
> animals come on to in pears.
>
> * Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
>
> * The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
> had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
>
> * Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by
> a Jezebel like Delilah.
>
> * Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
> unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
>
> * The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
> Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
>
> * The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>
> * Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua
> led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
>
> * The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told
> his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
>
> * David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought
> with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
>
> * Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
> * When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she
> sang the Magna Carta.
>
> * When the three wise guys from the east side arrived,
> they found Jesus in the manager.
>
> * Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
>
> * Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one
> to others before they do one to you. He also explained,
> "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
>
> * It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
> managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
>
> * The people who followed the lord were called the 12
> decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
>
> * One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>
> * St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
> which is another name for marriage.
>
> * Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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