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Similar tween/teen experience?  [message #75380] Sun, 06 January 2019 22:18 Go to next message
luvtwinks is currently offline  luvtwinks   United States

Getting started

Registered: August 2018
Messages: 23



A gazillion years worth of baggage here. Not sure if I'm looking for advice or just similar stories to make me feel better, or just wanting to vent...I think just venting but looking for input... Long story short...
Mid 1970's, 5th and 6th grade. New kid moves in across the street. Normally I wouldn't give a shit. For some reason I was COMPELLED to introduce myself to this particular indivual. We immediately became best friends. We were both 11/12 years old. I was 9 months older so my hormones were even more out of control than his at the time. We shared many tame sexual exploits. We showed each other our "junk", I would lay on top of him with a boner and he seemed to enjoy it. I even demonstrated the fine art of masturbation (under covers). We even took baths together and rubbed each other's backs. Not a single complaint from my best freind and he seemed to enjoy it and even encourage it. One day without warning he suddenly hates me and bullies me at the bus stop, My parents discourage me from seeing him again. A few weeks later, (apparently) after our parents have negotiations, we are best friends again. Lather, rinse repeat. The last time we had contact he suddenly turned to me and said something to the effect of "I'm not allowed to hang out with you anymore! Go away and leave me alone!" I NEVER got an explaination from my parents nor his. Despite my repeated requests (pleas), the adults were seemingly incapable of having an intelligent conversation with me about what was going on. Over the years as I got older I was able to piece together some pieces of the puzzle. Primarly, my friend's mother was a devout Catholic so that explains why she would be so against my "interest" in her son. If she and my parents actually had the balls to speak up I would have backed off but NONE of the adults on either side could articulate what they were thinking. Therefore, both me and my friend suffered for it.

I still think about this particular individual to this very day. I should have moved on 42 years ago, but I somehow feel as if we were soulmates reunited at the wrong time. Or more likely just wishful thinking...
Re: Similar tween/teen experience?  [message #75381 is a reply to message #75380] Sun, 06 January 2019 22:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Teddy is currently offline  Teddy   United States

Likes it here
Location: USA
Registered: October 2006
Messages: 113



Such are the vagaries of our youth, I'm afraid. Unlike the stories we write, our actual experiences growing up seem to be that of stumbling blindly through with very little guidance from the adults in our lives. Maybe those in their teens now, some of them, have a better support system than their predecessors. I know of some that do, or seem to have. 

It seems to me, on this side of my growing up years, that the most constructive option would be for me to be available as a benevolent mentor to others who are now where I once was. Be available to answer questions or to commiserate or offer a word of encouragement or gentle advice that's disguised as soemthing other than advice. I can't change the past but maybe I can help the present.
Re: Similar tween/teen experience?  [message #75382 is a reply to message #75380] Sun, 06 January 2019 23:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13029



I still think of the boy I fell for in 1965. I attempted closure. I got 80% of it.

May I suggest you find the man the boy has become and attempt to talk to him, but expecting nothing?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Similar tween/teen experience?  [message #75384 is a reply to message #75382] Sun, 06 January 2019 23:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
luvtwinks is currently offline  luvtwinks   United States

Getting started

Registered: August 2018
Messages: 23



"timmy wrote on Sun, 06 January 2019 23:24"
I still think of the boy I fell for in 1965. I attempted closure. I got 80% of it.

May I suggest you find the man the boy has become and attempt to talk to him, but expecting nothing?

--
I recall your similar story. I recently "Googled" my former best friend/boy crush and found his LinkedIn profile and associated photos (and sadly his mom's obit). He looks really good for someone of "our age". Having found the LinkedIn profile I also now have his professional contact info. Not sure if I want to take that next step right now, certainy not via his company email. I'm going to consider this VERY carefully before proceeding...if at all.
Re: Similar tween/teen experience?  [message #75386 is a reply to message #75384] Sun, 06 January 2019 23:56 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13029



"luvtwinks wrote on Sun, 06 January 2019 23:40"

"timmy wrote on Sun, 06 January 2019 23:24"
I still think of the boy I fell for in 1965. I attempted closure. I got 80% of it.

May I suggest you find the man the boy has become and attempt to talk to him, but expecting nothing?

--
I recall your similar story. I recently "Googled" my former best friend/boy crush and found his LinkedIn profile and associated photos (and sadly his mom's obit). He looks really good for someone of "our age". Having found the LinkedIn profile I also now have his professional contact info. Not sure if I want to take that next step right now, certainy not via his company email. I'm going to consider this VERY carefully before proceeding...if at all.

--
Might I suggest an approach might be "I have always remembered you kindly and would enjoy catching up."  That would be suitable for a work email contact

[Updated on: Sun, 06 January 2019 23:57]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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