A Place of Safety - RDF feed
https://forum.iomfats.org/
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78259/#msg_78259
As James Finn pointed out today in a Medium article (read here) about how Disney's CEO tried to hypocritically stay neutral while actually supporting the premises of the bill, the three major impacts are:
It prohibits public school teachers at the pre-kindergarten through third-grade level (students of about 4 to 8 years old) from teaching that gay or transgender people exist.
It prohibits teachers at all grade levels from teaching about LGBTQ issues or people in ways that are not "age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate," without defining "appropriate."
It empowers individual parents to sue school districts if they believe teachers have broken the law.
So, if you were wondering--yes, it it a blatant step backwards in that it aims through so-called legal means, to remove rights from LGBTQ youth. Which is to say, to remove rights from all LGBTQ people! To say nothing of the labels applied, such as pedophile!
Still, it's easy to settle into a mindset of "this isn't so bad compared to all the other horrible things that are happening in the world,' and in a way that comparison may be valid. But when you consider that the horror of the war in Ukraine only started hitting home AFTER the war began and casualties started to accumulate and the physical damage began to happen, we should all be asking 'what's the damage that will result from this bill and others like it?'
A poignant insight to that questioni appeared in an Op-Ed in the New York Times today, written by a Florida teenager named Will Larkin. It translates the impacts in ways all visitors to this forum will understand, and through which all of us who are older experieinced ourselves, and until recently thrilled that today's youth could pretty well avoid.
He describes the feelings of "being broken" as he tried to understand himself and how/why he was different than other kids, and how only when a fellow student finally talked to him about being LGBTQ "The realization that I wasn't the only one saved my life." And more recently how after being harassed at a school function for being gay, it was a teacher who understood and helped him through. Read Will Larkin's piece here. If you have difficulty getting past the NY Times paywall, email me and I'll send you the piece in PDF.
So, this isn't just an exercise in culture war politics. This has real world consequences to the most vulnerable in the LGBTQ community.]]>Bensiamin2022-03-13T16:56:44-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78260/#msg_78260
"Section 28"]]>timmy2022-03-13T20:36:42-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78261/#msg_78261
https://youtu.be/q_nqa5uWTh8
The net/net on the bill? It acts as if gays don't exist!]]>Bensiamin2022-03-15T20:01:12-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78262/#msg_78262
Sounds all very academic, but in my life it was devastating. Coming of age in the early 70s suburban USA I knew only that my attraction to the same sex made me a homosexual, a pervert, and mentally ill. I knew no one that I knew was gay. I never heard of Stonewall or gay pride until the 80s. Never heard the word 'gay' until I heard Rod Stewart's song The Killing of Georgie, though I did know faggot since I'd had it applied to me.
By the time I became aware of the gay community I was in a (pretty happy, for the most part) straight marriage. I regret not being aware of all that the world held, and now that I have the freedom to pursue my feelings I'm an old man and again am limited in my options.
Not knowing what possibilities the world holds is a powerful way to control people.
I am fully committed to not letting the world go back to the way it was, and have worked to that end for thirty years.
Blessings,
- Rick]]>ThisRick2022-03-16T22:38:45-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78263/#msg_78263
Thanks for sharing your personal story and insights as well as giving us the name! I'm guessing most of us who are over forty, at least those over fifty, lived through much the same thing you did to one degree or another, and can't help feeling the regret of opportunity and experience lost!
The thing going on in Florida certainly appears to be not just an effort to make it ground zero in the culture wars, but also a key element in DeSantis' efforts to emerge as the most right wing conservative contender for the 2024 election. It goes without saying that the damage inflicted on people isn't part of the calculation, any more than the damage inflicted on Ukranians by the war is part of Putin's calculation!
Let's hope this is the last gasp of the culture war battles, but I doubt it. Too many right wing conservatives are responding to what they perceive as an existential threat by ignoring reason and science and doubline down on repressioin, as an insightful piece in Politico about a gay legislator in Florida showed yesterday. You can read it here.
Similar things are going on in other states (think Texas and Idaho), but there are hopeful signs, like the law passed yesterday in Colorado to legalize abortion even if Roe is overturned. ]]>Bensiamin2022-03-17T14:55:14-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78264/#msg_78264
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1992_Oregon_Ballot_Measure_9 )
At the time, I was happily married with young kids. The measure brought up a lot of feelings from my youth and young adulthood and I knew I had to be part of the effort against it. I came out rather publicly, including being interviewed for a documentary about the campaign. This came at a steep personal cost as my wife reacted as if I'd admitted to, well, I'm not sure what to compare it to, but something pretty bad. This was despite my honest assurances I had never had, wanted, or thought about any contacts outside our marriage. It has taken me years to work through the effect having my life partner utterly reject me not for something I'd done, but who I am.
These days I'm involved in doing what I can to build gay community and support those who are coming out, especially older men.
One addition to my story above: I wasn't passive, waiting for someone to open the door. I had a terrible crush on my best friend in sixth grade but when I kissed him he leapt up and ran across the room. Our friendship was pretty much over from then on. Even as a young adult I never managed to find someone who reciprocated my feelings despite the considerable risk of reaching out. Eventually I entered into a conventional marriage since that worked for me as well and I didn't want to be alone forever.
Being single and old hasn't been easy, but I've had a few opportunities to be with another man. I wish more men my age liked men my age as I do.
Makes me wonder in those bad old days just how much blind chance mattered. Had I connected with even one other guy it might have made a big difference to know I wasn't the only one.
Apologies for the long post, the topic is one that affects me deeply.]]>ThisRick2022-03-18T16:41:54-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78265/#msg_78265
Thanks for sharing from the heart, and for the work you're doing for the gay community and those coming out.
all the best
Bensiamin
]]>Bensiamin2022-03-18T21:19:16-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78266/#msg_78266
That is my story, everyone's life and circumstances are different. One thing is evident, being gay in the 70's or earlier or later, involves some tough choices.
]]>William King2022-03-19T07:52:08-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78267/#msg_78267
Never again.
As you say, we all have our own paths. Like you, I knew at a young age that the word homosexual applied to me. I also know an octogenarian who figured it out recently.
Another friend in his 80s had a same sex partner in the 1960s but broke it off and married a woman because he didn't want to live a closeted life which in most professions was the only answer in those days.
Never again. ]]>ThisRick2022-03-19T19:41:22-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78268/#msg_78268
I was lucky, I married a girl for love. I am still gay and still married to her.
I woudl not have survived in any job. My first job was for the UK government. Queers were fired.]]>timmy2022-03-19T20:49:09-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78270/#msg_78270
What's most interesting in this analysis is both the scope of the intended impact, but also the motivation on the part of the legislators!
Wait for it... the part about the authoritarian play book!
The commentator here is named Beau of the Firth Column, and while he looks like a redneck he's a well educated and read military veteran who calls it like it is.
You can watch the video on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/UKQGop2r_5g]]>Bensiamin2022-03-21T02:27:27-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78271/#msg_78271
I did spend some time arging against someone im the UK who said Drumpf was not a fascist, but it;s impossoble to win an argument against an idiot]]>timmy2022-03-21T08:13:52-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78284/#msg_78284
The thing that bothers me in all of this is trying to puzzle out what it is, exactly, that the people who support these discrimnatory measures find so threatining about us. Their lives must be one of constant torment and fear of the boogey man. It must be awful to live that way. Very Putinesque, if you ask me. He's a very insecure man who keeps everyone across the room from him. They do that figuratively with their liste of evildoers. It must be torturous. ]]>Teddy2022-04-01T20:08:23-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78286/#msg_78286
Points well taken. Unfortunately we've got the role of toxic religion at work in America, but beyond that it comes down to partisan politics.
Here's a very good explanation, though the specific topics are gasoline and insulin prices. However, the strategy is the same.
As Beau points out, the Republican plan is to hurt you (and LGBTQ youth) as much as possible so they can benefit themselves!]]>Bensiamin2022-04-04T17:15:22-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78290/#msg_78290
You can watch the YouTube video here]]>Bensiamin2022-04-10T15:40:41-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78291/#msg_78291
Why American Teens Are So Sad.
Makes me sad to see that 75% - a large majority - of LGBT teens feel persistently sad or hopeless. Beating them up with this kind of legislation certainly won't help.
- Rick, remembering his teen years in the dark ages that unfortunately are coming back.
]]>ThisRick2022-04-13T15:48:23-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78292/#msg_78292
However, there is a silver lining to the cloud, and though one that requires a long term view, and that's this:
The fact is that those writing the laws are right wing which Christian nationalist OLD PEOPLE, and they soon will age out and be gone.
According to the Gallup study from whcih the chart comes: Now a much greater proportion of Gen Z, but still not all of it, has become adults. The sharp increase in LGBT identification among this generation since 2017 indicates that the younger Gen Z members (those who have turned 18 since 2017) are more likely than the older members of the generation to identify as LGBT. [/font-family][/font-size]Should that trend within Gen Z continue, the proportion of U.S. adults in that generation who say they are LGBT will grow even higher once all members of the generation reach adulthood.[/font-size]
The damage is being inflicted, but those doing it will be gone within a generation! You can read the Gallup article here.]]>Bensiamin2022-04-13T16:42:06-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78293/#msg_78293
I do hope that things will get better, but for example DeSantis is a young GenX and has a lot of years ahead of him. If he gets his way there will be more like him as well. There's still work to be done.
The thing that hit me when I first saw the data that graph is made from is the line that includes me (second from the bottom). Fewer than three in a hundred people in my age cohort will identify as gay. No wonder I haven't had a date in five years . There aren't many of us to begin with and when you take out those already in a relationship, those who have given up, and those who only are interested in someone decades younger there aren't a lot left.]]>ThisRick2022-04-14T19:37:04-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78294/#msg_78294
]]>2022-04-15T06:05:54-00:00Re: What 'Don't Say Gay' Really Means
https://forum.iomfats.org/./mv/msg/9518/78298/#msg_78298
]]>Bensiamin2022-04-19T01:24:09-00:00