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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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What if you were purple with red hair?
Well then you would be easy to pick out in a crowd.
you are the way you are because you are.....
or I can site all the platitudes.....
God made you that way.......
A nanny put a left shoe on your right foot when a crow was sitting on the red fence in sussex.
The stars were in allignment.....
I can go on and on and on.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Oh.... if you were hetero......
Then we would not be having this conversation on a gay website....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc wrote:
>
> The answer to "whatever comes naturaly" is a result that does not involve as much thinking as you might expect.... It happens because it is right.
>
I'd absolutely agree with you on that one, Marc!
My own version of Timmy's original question is that I seem to have a history of not being versatile - in relationships I've usually been exclusively a "bottom" (anal sex), but in one relationship that lasted several months I was exclusively a "top", I've had a couple of short-term relationships where anal sex didn't feel right for either of us, and one - of twelve years, the most emotionally intense, loving, and physically affectionate and demonstrative relationship of my life (so far) - that was technically celibate.
When I think of former lovers, my mental image is of them in a particular physical/spatial relationship with me (eg in one case me having an arm round his shoulder, in another me lying with my head in his lap ... ). Clearly there's something in me that seeks to express some quality of the emotional relationship in the physical terms of lovemaking ... but I'm not sure quite what it is or where it comes from.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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NW wrote:
... but I'm not sure quite what it is or where it comes from.
What it is....... Simple yet again..... It is a loving heart expressing it's self in a loving way......
Where it comes from..... Well, you silly.....
Now from me personally.......
Your postings, when they relate to your emotional side tend to move me greatly..... I try to absorb what you say and your explainations of your feelings and make an effort to assimilate that knowledge into my life and situation..... You (and incidently others as well) have helped me past some rough times and caused me to begin to look at some things in my life a bit differently.....
Thank you.......
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Sorry Deeej, no disrespect, please dont hit me. ;-D I thought it was rough on me being a virgin.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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>Sorry Deeej, no disrespect, please dont hit me. I thought it was rough on me being a virgin.
I've no idea what you're talking about, Brian, so don't worry: I certainly won't hit you!
Deeej
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... yippee, another oxymoron (even if Brian doesn't care!)
It's a contradiction in terms, since (leaving sex toys aside) you cannot be penetrated by a woman - so if you want to be penetrated, you must be imagining penetration by another male. And that makes you just a teensy weensy bit G-A-Y. (I'm spelling it out to avoid causing offence!)
Incidentally, I'm with NW and Navyone on the importance or otherwise of anal sex in a relationship. Though my active years of gay sex were in my teens and twenties, I still have gay friends who confirm my experience that an appreciable number of relationships work perfectly well without anal sex. On my own part, I was willing to either top or bottom, but it was never an essential element in my lovemaking. Curiously, though, I was addicted to rimming. Strange world, isn't it?
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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It may come down to the desire to be the pursuer or perused. I found in my youth that it felt really good to be desired and in a way take the more feminine roll of the receiver of affection.
A question I have is do we have any clear example of what is naturally gay expression of gay love? What would we be like if gays could have developed in a world where same sex love was accepted as a norm? I’m no longer sure about this but I was thinking that Margaret Mead wrote about same sex relationships in cultures where it was accepted. Maybe it was in Coming of age In Samoa or Sex and Temperament….???
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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anothervoice wrote:
> It may come down to the desire to be the pursuer or perused. I found in my youth that it felt really good to be desired and in a way take the more feminine roll of the receiver of affection.
>
I considered that at length when I first got up the nerve to tell a friend that I was a naturla bottom, because it felt at odds with who I "am"
First, I did my best to pursue. I never was pursued. I never wanted to be pursued and I either ignored pursuers or recoiled in horror at the very idea.
Second I have never seen being a bottom in any manner as a feminine role. I am not in the least bit feminine in any recognisable sense. I see my "natural or chosen" sexual role as being as masculine as being a top, and the act as a highly masculine act of male love.
I think it is somehow more complex than that.
I am also interested in heterosexual males and whether they, too, have a desire to be a bottom, despite having a solely penetrative role in their relatonships. Women with enhancements come to mind here. I know many men love being penetrated by their female partners with dildos etc, sometimes strapped on.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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cossie wrote:
> It's a contradiction in terms, since (leaving sex toys aside) you cannot be penetrated by a woman - so if you want to be penetrated, you must be imagining penetration by another male. And that makes you just a teensy weensy bit G-A-Y. (I'm spelling it out to avoid causing offence!)
I think we cannot leave sex toys aside. But how do we find out the population of males who desire penetration yet who are absolutely not gay?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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The best sex you ever get, in terms of physical sensations, is with yourself. Never worry about virginity. When the time is right you will never even notice "losing" it, if it all goes right.
Concentrating in "losing virginity" will spoil that first sexual experience with another warm person.
But, I was a bottom while a virgin. That was the real question. How do we know so clearly what we want to do? I include Deej's knowing that he does not yet want to do it in that knowledge.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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>The best sex you ever get, in terms of physical sensations, is with yourself.
Oh, Timmy, noooo!
Deeej
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Feminine was probably a bad choice of words on my part and what’s great about there being a place like this to sort of explore things a bit.
I don’t think any one would call me feminine either LOL. For me though, enjoying being both bottom and top about equally, I found that it was the roll of being perused and desired that made being the bottom more alluring than it would have been otherwise. So it would seem for me it was social and cultural observation that played a part in my path to who I am. I must say here too that in a way it empowered me, as I would be the one doing the accepting or rejecting.
My question to you is do you feel it was some how a totally innate propensity? I mean I first bottomed when I was like 11 and I really liked it but it wasn’t like I had consciously decided that was what I wanted to do for the most part before hand. I did know about anal penetration but until the moment of opportunity I didn’t give it much thought.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings-
Cossie, what about penetration with a tongue? Female, male, is there a difference anywhere but between your ears?
Sorry, I've been away for a while to the land of 2am wake up to take your sleeping meds!
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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I have no real idea. I just know that I wanted the boy I wanted to be inside me. It never happened, I do not think I ever fantasised about penetrating him. Time dims memory, of ocurse.
I also think back to the other boys I lusted after. In about 3 cases my thoughts involved my penetrating, but the rest either did not involve any anal sex, or were of my being penetrated. It also never happened.
I conclude that thsi is more by nature than anything else primarily because I had no actual experience.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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Lordy. That means breakfast at 5, lunch at 10, and supper at 3.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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When it comes to tongues there's no practical difference - though I think there might be an emotional difference!
I just didn't think that was what Timmy had in mind.
As regards penetration with a sex toy, in the circles in which I move and disrupt I haven't heard of a demand for the service amongst heterosexual males, even when alcohol has banished caution from the conversation!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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By sheer coincidence I was involved a discussion on heterosexuals, penetration, and the prostate gland yesterday evening (at the gay smoking cessation group I'm attending: several of us were asking about another course run by the same organisation called the "Arse Class"). One of the guys there - of French orgin - volunteered the information that one of the main reasons a lot of French (women) prostitutes favour high-heeled shoes is that when they have their legs wrapped round a customer they can penetrate him with one of the heel spikes ... apparently this is a fairly usual request.
The range and ingenuity of human sexual desire and experimentation never ceases to amaze me!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I shudder at the thought of the damage a steel-tipped heel might do in an inaccessible place!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Cossie-
The things we think and the things we say, even with a surplus of single malt,
are a world apart!
Think about it, when was the last time that any one (male) you know owned up to enjoying the touch of silk or satin?
The 'tween the ears' line was my admission that there is a likely emotional difference.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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cossie wrote:
> As regards penetration with a sex toy, in the circles in which I move and disrupt I haven't heard of a demand for the service amongst heterosexual males, even when alcohol has banished caution from the conversation!
Most heterosexual males view anal play as a thing to be kept secret from other males. It implies their latent homosexuality, for example. However there are many people who are devotees of anal pleasures, often because of old and successful childhood constipation curing enemas - given for many and varied alleged and real health giving properties.
Find anyone to speak about this even when drunk or stoned and I will be amazed.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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I suspect you were having your chain pulled. The geometry is quite severe to achieve that, surely?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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timmy it took me a littel while to realise what you are about dont take this the wrong way but you like to be the celeb on this site, you say you are hetrosexual but like the smutty side of the gay side,as well this excites you.
you are probaly thinking why are you on this site,oh perhaps i am a littel bit like you. i look forward to your comments before you ban me?. or let your dogs loose.
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Excuse me!!! Gay men making love is smutty??? Its no smuttier than str8ts making love. In fact its probably less smutty. IM almost prety sure Timmy has said over and over that he is gay, and just happens to love his wife.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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The celeb on this site?
They're ALL celebs on this site. And heroes too.
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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First,
Would it be at all inconvienent to utilize even the most rudamentary rules of grammar and punctuation?
Second,
Dogs loose? I beg your pardon!
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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If you think your post is likely to get you banned, or at least flamed, why do you post it?
I know I have occasionally posted potentially offensive things on here, but in each case I have only appreciated the extent afterwards. If I thought a post would upset someone, I wouldn't post it.
Unless I wanted to upset someone -- then I might. Hmm...
Sounds like trolling behaviour to me. Especially since you attribute things to Timmy that he has never (as far as I remember) said on this board (that he is heterosexual).
Smut's a subjective, and potentially offensive, word, too. I'm sure you're aware of that.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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likely to actually act like a guest? This isn't my forum, and I respect the people who are here when they agree with me, and also when they do not.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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and spelling!
black, pot, kettle.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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You know, all I think is that your behaviour is weird, confrontational and rather banal.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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Well, not everyone who comes here is pleasant. Jack is simply one of the less pleasant people, or so his behaviour shows. We've had one like him before. They come and they go.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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I suppose anyone who has to use NTL for his internet connection would start to exhibit troll-like behaviour, though.
Jack's posts seem always to be steeped in his own particular brand of unpleasantness
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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Cooking without garlic is like cooking without onions. But overwhelming the flavours of a dish with garlic, that is a fish of a wholly different colour.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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I just received an email from jack. In it he has explained he was experimenting with us and trying to get a reaction from us. Apparently he attacked me and you all rallied round to defend me.
That reminds me of harry Nilsson's LP all to do with Oblio and the Land of Point. The music is not Nilsson's best, but he does make an interestintg song over seeing what you want to see and hearing what you want to hear. And I guess jack thinks he has seen an attack and a defence.
I have asked jack to tell me what the point was. I have also told him he is welcome here and needs to behave like a grownup to remain welcome. I am mildly interested in the point he's been trying to make, but not enough to worry if he tells us or not.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hmm. Very strange.
I would have thought that it was quite obvious what the reaction would be. After all, Timmy, you are one of the best-respected people on this board. You have always been open and fair. People feel they know you.
On the other hand, we know nothing about jack. He has not bothered to register an account; he has posted no personal details; and he has got dangerously close to trolling on several occasions. I don't see how the outcome could have been anything different from the one that transpired.
It might be an interesting experiment (but also highly unethical) to test the reactions of the community to blatant trolling from a well-respected member, or to a verbal duel between two otherwise placid posters, and variations along those lines, but since what you did, jack, has been done so many times by anonymous trolls on other messageboards it is hardly original. Anyway, to be honest, if you are interested in that sort of thing, all you need to do is read the board history. There have been plenty of disputes over this board's existence already without you stirring things up too.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13806
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You know, we know a lot about all the regulars here and are learning a lot about many newer people. We each earn or lose respect every time we post.
I agree with your message to jack. But he has simply been a minor annoyance. What I object to is his hijacking of the thread. Perhaps we can get it back on track.
He will have to learn to behave in a far less childish manner. The really silly thing is that, now, no-one respects him. But that is his loss. He will have to earn his respect, and that is now harder because he starts from below the place a new poster starts. His hill, he slid down it, it is now for him to climb it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hey, easy Timmy! I have to suffer NTL too! 
Mike.g
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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No wonder it smells peculiar!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Very interesting, timmy.
My experience is a bit different. I was motivated by a desire to be accepted & liked, perhaps because I felt I wasn't by father & older brothers. I was also different than most guys in my scientific interests, reading, cooking, art, photography, electronics, & chemistry experimentation, etc & this combined with a social awkwardness & shy-inferiority complexes made me made me act & seem different than most boys.
Nevertheless I was the pursuer though out of a desperate desire to be loved & accepted rather than desire to be idolized, looked up to , & sans any machismo entirely. I was skinny, slender, anti-sports, liked pretty colored clothes and grew my hair long as soon as I was allowed.
Though enamored with males bodies I never considered penetration as an outlet to any feelings inside of me. Once experienced in gay sex I still didn't desire either, rather my best sexual experiences still being the doing the 69 thing in sleeping bags on camping trips. The experiences were better than any self love I could ever concoct, being exceedingly tender & sensitive, initially administered by a chubby younger boy with a tiny pecker who just had some gifts to know how to thrill a guy. Whoever started it, it would proceed in a slow, tantalizing maneuvers, each of us mirroring what the other had done. It was truly a dance of sorts, not focusing on the same steps too long , but stimulating about every sense a guy could have in those religions. It would go on for hours sometimes, there being rarely any rush toward climax, because the sensations we produced along the way were longer, better & stronger than any climax. I've yet to find another who'll take the time to play this game, but it has always been my top gay pleasures that I think no penetration event could equal in duration or sensation.
I appreciated your comments below as well Deej, as I had wondered about your thoughts & feelings on this matter. You have seemed somewhat non-gay or non sexual (if you can imagine what I'm struggling to express); more male than anything and fairly well balanced, to me not fitting the typical ideas I'd had for a gay guy.. but then maybe I need to study all your posts further. Your mind seems more logical & technical than sexual but obviously there must be an attraction there, no matter how well hidden or covered by proper decorum. You're an interesting study.
Well timmy, for whatever it's worth that's my initial input. I think no person can know you better than yourself, or at least I've no further insight into your interesting experiences. Thanks as always for sharing your life with us.. Teddy
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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Handyman wrote:
I think no person can know you better than yourself.
Teddy, IMHO that is soooooo not true!
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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