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I decided to reveal my identity just for the lone fact that I think both sides of this story need to be 'heard'
Primarily, I feel the affair should be left to 'Brian' and Myself. I know you all miss 'Brian' he spoke very highly of all of you, especially of someone he called grandfather, that was you Cossie.
I am just very hurt by all this, but the time that I spent talking to 'Brian' were nice. Conversation with him never ventured to anything sexual. I won't lie, I loved talking to him. We were in something that resembled love, feelings were exchanged and we spent many hours talking about how we felt. That was the only reason I was hurt.
I really miss 'Brian' I miss him so bloody much that it is almost overwhelming. I wish I could have him back in my life.
That is why I feel this needs to be closed now.
Please this is the only thing I will ask of you.
Take Care All,
David Logan Armstrong.
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Timmy,
I know I'm very nieve in the belief of the goodness and kindness of people, generally. I don't like lying and hate to deceive. I live alone and am lonely. I want and need friends that I can be honest and real with and still be friends. I've gone on sites and been honest and not pretend I'm someone other than I say I am. But because I'm a senior and was honest, I was never even acknowledged. Just because I'm older and don't have the body or tone of a 25 year old, I'm out of the loop. I don't want to lie or make up a disguise just to get attention. I just want to be honest and have people care enough as one human being to another to get to know me - the real me with no games. But our community seems to be locked into looks, sexuality not the person. Maybe, just maybe, if people got to know someone and what they are really like (not perfect, make honest mistakes because of not understanding or not experienced), that they are really loving, kind, caring people, they just might find someone they could really care about. Beauty doesn't last but character, honesty, kindness and caring does last. And I will be the first one to admit that when I was in that late teen - young person era, I too was at fault for doing that same thing with someone older. Now I am that older person and now I know how they felt. It's too late for me but you young guys: think of the quality of a person. If it is truly wrapped in beauty and sexiness all the better. But if it is not in the top twenty or so but is absolutely honest, kind, caring and loving, don't let that get away from you because that will last after the beauty is gone. And when you're honest and real and up front with others, you don't have to remember what you said the last time to cover your real self up. You've heard the saying, "payback is a bitch". Well I'll tell you that older and lonely is a real hell. Bless you all.
Tad
Tad Durham
Belfast, Maine U S A
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I'm gonna leave it up to Brian, David and those close to them to deal with this now.
I've had contact with a couple of people offboard that have helped clarify the situation a little more. "Brian" seems to have meant no harm and seems to have tried to mitigate the harm cause, at least partially.
I was just mad because I felt like you were condoning Brian's actions, Timmy. I'm sure you don't, but to me you were so eager not to condemn Brian that you verged on sounding supportive, not just of Brian himself, but of his actions. I know you really are just supportive of Brian, though, because what happened wasn't right, even if it was for noble or good reasons.
And I was frustrated that I suspected Brian wasn't who he said he was in July last year and people still ended up hurt. But I guess people need to find things out themselves, I would have been seen as a troublemaker and he would have denied it if I tried to call him out.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I hope you are able to work things out. Whether you choose to keep in contact with Brian as he truly is, or not. It can be hard to build trust again, but you will. Brian was too good to be true, but loving someone real and flawed has its advantages, too  I wish you luck, David. And happiness.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I understand where you are coming from. I just really want to be clear on soemthing, please.
People who come here are all worthy of support unless they come here to solicit minors for sex or have other unlawful purposes in mind.
This means that Brian and David are each worthy of support, for example. It also means, though you may not see it yet, that I am supporting you while chastising your behaviour.
There is a difference between condoning something and forgiving it. I can forgive very easily, and we should all do that. To condone something is different. Before we can even look at that we need to understand it. That understanding can only come if we are given real information. And we may still object to a behaviour rather than condone it. Since I have insufficient information here I am neutral. Should I be granted that information I will make a private and unpublicised decision.
Please never "call someone on a lie" in public here. There are very few occasions when this will do anyone any good.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Marc,
I don't know how you measure hurt. It's one of those things "You'll know it when you feel it". And each person being different, hurt is going to be more painful to someone who is sensitive than one who had hardened their heart due to previous hurt unless someone can get through. We just have to remember each person is human and try not to hurt each other.
Tad Durham
Belfast, Maine U S A
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Marc,
I am just nieve to hope that if I have promised to be absolutely honest and truthful, that people will know what they read about me is the truth and knowing that, will trust me and build a friendship, hopefully, on that trust. There are a lot of us that have been hurt but hopefully there is someone out there who is willing to take a risk and trust enough to believe my truth. At first I started building walls to prevent getting hurt and it works because no one can get in. But I also found out that those same "walls" keep out someone who wants to be loving, kind and a friend. So I have to leave myself "open" in hopes of getting that friend.
Tad Durham
Belfast, Maine U S A
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"honest people should not have to be constantly on guard against the dishonest."
ahhh i wish it was so.... in a right world this would be so
i was also taken by brian and assumed he was for real, outside of a few doubts. i would like to know the truth... Ive not seen anything outside of this forum that authenticates him, even police reports of the auto accidents.
i hope the best for him, if he is who he said. regardless he has a heart and id like to wish him well in life whomever he is.
Ted 
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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I'm waaay late into this conversation, and still not done reading this one thread, but i do believe that brian was substantially who he said he was, at least that his heart was about as he portrayed it.
enough incidental conversation occurred between us that i think his heart was fairly well represented.
regardless his age, his intellect may have indicated to him to shield his real identity from the start. if so i can only say he was wiser than i.
Handyman
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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oops sorry
i see it was requested to be dropped
Teddy :-[
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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I think the time has come to let this slide. 
Re: Giving and taking 
