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Re: Server [message #50769 is a reply to message #50766]

Thu, 05 June 2008 08:53

marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729

I think I understand.

I understand about how the sex drive kinda wanes as one gets older.

What I am wondering about is... well... how did you deal with it... say, 40 years ago?

As for myself, having never actually been with a woman, and since well before I was 14, knowing I was gay, I never had to make these kinds of choices....

What i guess I am trying to understand is how does oneself come to make such sacrafices regarding ones personal identity for the sake of ones public identity (I'm not sure identity is the right word here)?

Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...

Re: Server [message #50792 is a reply to message #50554]

Sat, 07 June 2008 06:33

Getting started

Location: USA
Registered: October 2005
Messages: 25

Is this issue still causing difficulties?

I've noticed that ever since this announcement came out I've not been able to completely load story pages into my BlackBerry. Also I notice that chapter 12 of Grasshopper's "Just One Starfish" seems to be incomplete. Ends rather abruptly and has no footers at the bottom of the page. (yes, I've reloaded, refreshed, rebooted, etc.)

Don't know if any of those things are connected in any way with the server difficulties or not but thought I'd ask...

[Updated on: Sat, 07 June 2008 06:34]

Re: Server [message #50793 is a reply to message #50769]

Sat, 07 June 2008 07:47

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

Dear Marc,

I think most people are a bit bisexual. Most people can enjoy sex with either sex. I certainly greatly enjoyed the sex with my wife and as I would always want a committed loving relationship there was no pain in not having sex with another man.

I had offers from other men at various times but I turned them down. I think having loving sex with someone increases one's liking for them and makes it more likely that one would fall in love with them. I know what that can do to my behaviour (when I was in love with David I think I *did* behave very badly) and it would have been a disaster as far as family life was concerned.

I have two daughters and I believe that the most important thing anyone ever does is bring up children and I have a sort of dedication to their good which isn't to be lightly thrown aside. Getting married is treated by the world as THE big change in one's life but the world is wrong: THE big change is between having no children and being a parent.

But I don't want to give you the impression that I 'stayed with my wife for the sake of the children' - far from it. I stayed with her because I love her. I just seriously wanted to do well by her and our children and so it would have been foolish and dangerous to risk an infatuation. So no sex with anyone else!

When you see people who have stayed together for forty and fifty years, whatever sort of couple they are it will have taken something to last like that. My friends John and John are still together and I introduced them to each other in (I think) 1957! How did they manage that? Society was against them and they didn't have the glue of children to strengthen their resolve.

I'm being serious here because I think it matters a lot and every one of us has to decide how to live his life. You only get one.

Love,
Anthony

Re: Server [message #50795 is a reply to message #50792]

Sat, 07 June 2008 08:05

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800

The server is still causing issues. The symptoms that you mention are highly likely to be because of the server limits. They've moved from being a host we loved to a host we hate.

So far we have moved the minor sites we run. That's the right way to do it, though frustrating. Every site moved has been increasingly complex and thrown up new and interesting challenges. But we're using the opportunity of the migration to do a lot of housekeeping as well.

If all goes well we will migrate the major sites over the weekend. iomfats.org will be the last. It is surprisingly large and surprisingly complex, so we will use all the other sites as pathfinders.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Today is Migration Day [message #50803 is a reply to message #50554]

Sun, 08 June 2008 07:44

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800

At some point the site will vanish. Then reappear.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

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