I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Location: Berkshire, UK
Registered: March 2005
Messages: 3281
In English, 'you' is commonly used as a substitute for the impersonal 'one'. I'm really not sure how you read Roger's response as applying to you, Marc, as it was in very general terms, and not even in response to one of your posts (it was to Michael Sargeant's). Why do you take offence at something that's not directed at you?
but there is a link between children and sexual feelings and not just because some of them are beautiful. Breast feeding is certainly sexually arousing and hugs and kissing and tickling are or can be too.
Most people aren't tempted to take the next step or to touch children inappropriately or to behave in any way sexually towards them. But people like me who have always liked children can be aware of where the sexual feelings are and take care not to go there.
It's a much finer line than most people acknowledge. When I was expecting to become a father I worried that if it was a boy I wouldn't be able to be a proper father because I didn't enjoy the 'typical dad' sort of amusements and because I almost certainly would find a boy sexually attractive at some age or other (I'm not talking before puberty here). [And, no, I don't approve of incest!]
I now think my worries were groundless and that I'd have done fine. I'm sure that I also did fine by the sons of my friends and so on. The first step in avoiding a danger is to be aware of it, and I am aware. I'm sure you are aware of the danger (though you may not BE in that danger) and you don't feel any temptation, but I wonder about the other parents on here; whether anyone else has any sympathy with what I'm saying.
And I think of Lewis Carroll (one of my heroes) who took pictures of little girls artfully dressed in rags or other costumes and how he had to have chaperones to make his photography possible.