A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > A resounding silence
A resounding silence  [message #15343] Thu, 25 September 2003 05:10 Go to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



This is just a thought, a suggestion.

When things get a little hot in here (as they always will) there is a way to deal with it that we have not tried. When I (or you) say something that is outrageously hurtful, one way to treat it could be to ignore it. When the person doing the hurt realizes that no one (but, no one) is responding at all, the matter will probably end there because no one likes talking to himself or herself. Maybe some things need to be met with a resounding silence.

Just my twopennyworth.
Re: A resounding silence  [message #15344 is a reply to message #15343] Thu, 25 September 2003 06:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kevin is currently offline  kevin

On fire!
Location: Somewhere
Registered: September 2002
Messages: 1108




Thanks Steve. Not really a bad idea.

Much Love to you,

Kevin



"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
icon5.gif Re: A resounding silence  [message #15351 is a reply to message #15343] Thu, 25 September 2003 08:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



Silence is not love nor is it brotherhood......rob
Re: A resounding silence  [message #15352 is a reply to message #15344] Thu, 25 September 2003 09:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
david in hong kong is currently offline  david in hong kong

On fire!
Location: American working in Thail...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 1101




Steve,

I am grateful to you for bringing this up for discussion. I have thought long and hard about this way of handling painful posts, and in fact have recommended it myself from time to time. I agree that ignoring negativity may discourage it.

But, one thing bothers me about this strategy. Do we not sometimes risk seeming to agree with negativity if we simply let it sit on the MB unchallenged?

It's a double-edged thing, perhaps. Seeming to agree or not to care on the one hand, and risking outbursts if we challenge something on the other hand...



"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
icon13.gif Re: A resounding silence  [message #15353 is a reply to message #15352] Thu, 25 September 2003 09:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



To challange is to take up arms again..I see another attempt to rake old wounds..Timmy,I believe has given clear marching orders--BEHAVE AND STOP the hurt..The rule is simple,if you aint got sumtin nice to say,best keep trap shut...This war is finished.Any further discussion is simply rehashing and scraping at wounds and pissing Timmy off.Silence belies consent.Tis best if any reply is to be made,that reply should be given with brotherhood and the spirit that this place stands for..No matter how polite and couched the words are,we can see through the mask....rob
And love is not negativity and that damn thumbs down icon  [message #15359 is a reply to message #15351] Thu, 25 September 2003 10:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
smith is currently offline  smith

On fire!

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095



Great thought, Steve, but sometimes silence can make your brain explode.
Re: A resounding silence  [message #15361 is a reply to message #15343] Thu, 25 September 2003 10:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




Silence is usually golden... or so they say.

When someone writes hurtful and negative things on a medium such as this, they are typically trying to elicit a response. They are limited in how to confidently and positively express themselves... or they just want to hurt.

Hurtful and negative statements are also usually abusive and are directed to cause pain upon anothert

In light of all this, Silence as Steve states will take the power away from any negativity. Without power, it will die. The pain will have no teeth if we don't let it.

Let us all remember... Hurt and Hate are both 4 letter words.

Let us all also focus on Love, Peace, Support, Comfort, and helping each other here.

So far, I have seen Timmy do an awesome job here, and I believe we should allow him to do his thing...

Thanks for speaking, Steve. Thanks for the awesome work, Timmy.

BamBam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon6.gif Re: And love is not negativity and that damn thumbs down icon  [message #15443 is a reply to message #15359] Fri, 26 September 2003 10:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



I just love that thumbs down icon,it really,really brings such joy to my heart...Just by itself represents many of the replies that I want to make to such nice posts...It is so much easier to use than typing a long disertation and so lovingly gets the point across..Ido wish you a happy life,please feel free to ask for more of those awesome icons....rob
Rob, The thumbs down.....  [message #15449 is a reply to message #15443] Fri, 26 September 2003 13:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Is about equally as annoying as the big red exclamation mark....

I think a well worded reply is much more expressive than emoticons....

They both denote a definate negativity and should be avoided.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: A resounding silence  [message #15450 is a reply to message #15361] Fri, 26 September 2003 14:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



So you are saying that unless a person can be eloquent in speach and dazzle tos masses with briliant oratory, they should just remain silent?

No one wants to hurt anyone. But remember that when something happens that is intrinsically wrong, someone will speak up on the subject.

Or is it better to let a wrong go unnoticed?



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
icon13.gif Re:  [message #15453 is a reply to message #15359] Fri, 26 September 2003 14:39 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



No Message Body
icon14.gif Well worded reply  [message #15455 is a reply to message #15453] Fri, 26 September 2003 16:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
smith is currently offline  smith

On fire!

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095



No Message Body
icon13.gif Re:  [message #15459 is a reply to message #15455] Fri, 26 September 2003 16:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



No Message Body
Marc, that isn't what I am saying at all....  [message #15477 is a reply to message #15450] Fri, 26 September 2003 18:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




I hope I am not misunderstood, Marc. Please allow me to simplify...

My whole point is to encourage all of us to look at what we say... what is behind what we say... and focus on helping each other.

Hurt will come. No doubt about that. But if we focus on helping and healing, then we can all continue to be a better, more loving family.

Does that make sense??? I surely don't want to lead anyone in the wrong direction... and I am surely not trying to pretend these things don't happen...

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Marc.

Bam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon7.gif Re: Marc, that isn't what I am saying at all....  [message #15480 is a reply to message #15477] Fri, 26 September 2003 19:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



Nice to see you on this board..U use the word simplify.....perhaps a better more neutral phrase would be (let me amplify or clarify)....rob
Yes, I agree.... we should all look at what we say.....  [message #15484 is a reply to message #15477] Fri, 26 September 2003 19:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



But we all need to take a good look at what we see as well.

Too often inten is mistaken as malace. When that happens the cliques rally and draw their battle lines and all hell breaks loose.

I don't need simplification, but looking at both sides of the situation would be of some help.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Rob, point well taken.  [message #15491 is a reply to message #15480] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




Thanks for correcting me.

I used the word simplify because (from my point of view and experience) I usually bury what I want to say in too many words.

Thanks again. I know you care... and that makes all the difference in the world...

Bam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon7.gif Marc... thanks....  [message #15492 is a reply to message #15484] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




It is people like you and rob and heather that make this such a great place to be....

Thanks for being u...

Bam.



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon14.gif Re: Marc... thanks....  [message #15494 is a reply to message #15492] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
icon5.gif Rob.... What???????  [message #15496 is a reply to message #15494] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




WOW???????????????????????? Why the wow my good man?????

Bam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon6.gif Re: Rob, point well taken.  [message #15497 is a reply to message #15491] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



Aint correcting ya,just trying to be a friend....Welcome to Timmys nut farm,some aint got no taste and some taste good..But what the hell,lets have some fun.........rob
Re: Rob, point well taken.  [message #15498 is a reply to message #15491] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721




hehe, paul -- i too, tend to over-talk things, and the later at night it gets, the more i fall to run-on sentences. worry not -- you're not alone there. Smile



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
Re: Rob.... What???????  [message #15501 is a reply to message #15496] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



first nice thing ever said to me and it sure feels good.......rob
icon7.gif First Nice Thing??????  [message #15503 is a reply to message #15501] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




You aren't serious !!!!! I think it is great that you put the time and effort in to helping me out there...

My man, you are just helping me get my writing thing on correctly !!!!!

Bam.....



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon14.gif Re: Rob, point well taken.  [message #15504 is a reply to message #15498] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



Girl you just keep on talking...music for this ol mans ears....You and BAMBAM are gonna set this place on fire....BTW how are those precious deer doing,,hows sending some more pictures and send me a better pix of you..I may just get to start liking girls...hehehe.......rob
icon12.gif Re: Rob, point well taken.  [message #15506 is a reply to message #15498] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




H.... you have been so nice since I started on this MB.. I think I am going to swim across the lake just to give you a big hug !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bam...:-* :-* :-* :-* :-*



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
icon14.gif Re: First Nice Thing??????  [message #15508 is a reply to message #15503] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



please dont ever be shamed at your words..I hear you clearly and I hear a friend and thats what its all about....BTW,,Misplaced aint misplaced at all.Shes in exackly the right place....rob
Re: First Nice Thing??????  [message #15509 is a reply to message #15508] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721





or so i think/hope! Smile thanks, rob.



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
Re: Rob, point well taken.  [message #15511 is a reply to message #15506] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721





better hurry before it gets TOO cold!! maybe your kids could hang out with mine. well, she's only 8 but she acts like she's 13 at least... ::-)



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
icon7.gif Girl... you are definitely in the right place !!!!!!  [message #15512 is a reply to message #15509] Fri, 26 September 2003 21:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




Like I said before... with all those needles... you are exactly in the right place.... ACROSS LAKE MICHIGAN !!!!!!!!! LOL !!!!!!!

And you are still so loved....


Bam

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-*



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
Swimming across thelake....  [message #15519 is a reply to message #15511] Fri, 26 September 2003 22:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




or I can wait till it freezes over... right?????

BTW.. r u by Motor City or no????

Bam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
Re: Swimming across thelake....  [message #15520 is a reply to message #15519] Fri, 26 September 2003 22:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721





nope, i'm in muskegon, right on lake michigan.



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
icon7.gif Muskegon???????? Someone lives there???????  [message #15524 is a reply to message #15520] Fri, 26 September 2003 22:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
yourbestgayfriend is currently offline  yourbestgayfriend

Likes it here
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 214




Ok... just kidding... actually, the fairy... I mean ferry goes from Manitowoc to Muskegon if I am not mistaken...

BTW.. do you know where I live over here???? Have u ever been here????


Bam



Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
Nice work Rob.... I am very proud of you.....  [message #15526 is a reply to message #15508] Fri, 26 September 2003 22:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



It truely is wonderful to see you making friends....



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: Muskegon???????? Someone lives there???????  [message #15533 is a reply to message #15524] Sat, 27 September 2003 00:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
misplaced is currently offline  misplaced

Really getting into it
Location: michigan; united states.
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 721





no, i actually haven't ever been over to wisconsin. i've been to chicago, and to indianapolis, and that's about it as far as the mid-west goes. i've been to canada (toronto, specifically..) four times, D.C., and boston. oh, and new york. that's the extent of my travels.

you should ferry over here one day! muskegon is fun for about 3 days and then you've seen it all. hehe!

oh gosh. i really need to shut off the RSS feeder thing, i'm supposed to be writing. ERRRRRRRRRGH!!!! ::-) Sad)



my void does not want.

-- 2.13.61.
icon6.gif Re: Rob, The thumbs down.....  [message #15598 is a reply to message #15449] Sun, 28 September 2003 16:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



Brother Marc,,I bow to your wisdom however,words sometimes gets me into trouble and such symbols can convey thoughts that are best not verbalised.The symbol also can be a signature to convey disapproval to a person that wants to hurt others......rob
icon14.gif Re: A resounding silence  [message #15615 is a reply to message #15352] Mon, 29 September 2003 00:40 Go to previous message
robert bryce is currently offline  robert bryce

Really getting into it

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414



silence on the battlefield sometimes is a good thing dave......rob
Previous Topic: There is a great probability......
Next Topic: What are some of your favorite movie quotes
Goto Forum: