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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of Non-Existence of God
The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines.
There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliette, I am talking."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock.
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.
© 2002 Claude Salhani
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No Message Body
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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I kind of got the gist of the expression "oye vey", but for no reason at all, I wanted to find a more precise definition. So I turned to our ever-present friend, Google:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=%2Bdictionary+%22oye+vey%22
Check out the topmost search result... LOL!
What IS the probability for something like this happening, really? 
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Now I'm gonna have to start reading David's stories too! Too many good stories and so little time! Well, maybe I should be saying thanks for the sample, I suppose.
Seriously, though - I was quite amused the first time I typed my own name into a search engine and found Usenet news postings I had authored prior to the Internet as we know it - about 10 years ago - still archived somewhere and being indexed by search engines. There is also one porn story that usually pops up because of my unusual last name.
I swear someday computers will analyze all our writings and cross reference the real authors by the style and expresssions, vocabulary, etc. Didn't they do that with the Unibomber? Dumb stuff like I always write "correctly" except a few little idiosyncracies like "gonna." Oye Vey, indeed.
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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on Google! Thanks, Lenny!
But Charlie still likes Chapter 9 the best...maybe his reviews can be added to google as well? Hehe
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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I've searched for my pen name, but I haven't been indexed yet. It will happen sooner or later I'm sure.
I'm on chapter eight now by the way, and really liking it so far. Had to find it on nifty, that other place only had up to (and including) chapter seven.
And spinning was great by the way, even though the guy with the extra-ordinary butt didn't show up today. I'm going to move up to regular classes instead now, I think I'm ready for it.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Believe it or not, one of the first words (or expressions) that I found Thai's use (in Thai language) is "oye!". Weird, huh? Maybe proves that the Lost Tribe of Israel ended up in Asia or something.
Hey Steve, what's the "official" word on that lost tribe, anyhow?
In Hong Kong, people tend to use another expression. "Aye YAH!". I like that one, too.
But as a budding Buddhist, maybe I should calm myself and use only "Ommmmmmmmmmmmm" hehehe
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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>>Hey Steve, what's the "official" word on that lost tribe, anyhow?<<
Actually, David, there were ten of them! And for some inexplicable reason that have been lost for the past 2723 years. When I last checked they were still lost. How's that for persistence! DNA tests have proven that they are not the American Indians (which was a popular fiction in 19th century).
That's about as "official" I can get. No one has sent out a search party for them - at least not in the past 2700 years.
Unofficially, I believe that if tests were done many of today's surviving Samaritans would be found to have the right DNA.
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Wow, so many tribes? Lost for sooo long? Hmmm...
I think I remember reading once that some Mormon group posited that Polynesians were the Lost tribe. I have no idea why that connection was made.
But it always struck me as a bit funny that they said that...after all, Samoans look sooo, ummm, un-Jewish. Cohen or Levi, Sephardic or not, I think the Samoans would stick out in a Jewish crowd a bit...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Actually a search party was kinda sent for them about five or six years ago and a documentary was made of the search for them and the jewish holy artifacts. The conclusion was that the tribes are now in Ethiopia but they have not proved it and were not really sure.(just like jews to come to a conclusion their not sure of! - hey I'm jewish it's ok for me to be racist against jews, to know us is to resent us. Just ask anyone from history).
;0)
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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For intellectual snobs only :-) 
Damn you, Lenny! 
You're welcome! 
Re: "The Lost Tribe" 
