A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Is this guy gay?
icon5.gif Is this guy gay?  [message #1679] Wed, 27 March 2002 05:42 Go to next message
Darren is currently offline  Darren

Likes it here

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190



An young male intern working for me (and please no cigar jokes ....) sent me a message on the AIM as follows:

(Happy face)
I say what's up.

He says not much, I just wanted to send you a smily and a hug.

...

It caught me very much off-guard, as we normally talk about work. I thought he must be gay. No offense to you guys, but you are the only men that I get email hugs from. There have been a few other things as well. My female cousin also agrees with me. I am not interested in him (nor do I want to be), but I am wondering if this is an attempt on his part to reach out to me. I have made this offer to him before. I want to bring up the subject with him next time I see him in person. I think that I am even willing to tell him that I am gay (with approval from my wife). I just think that if he is gay or bi, he may need to talk to someone about it. He is living with a girl. A french canadian who seams to be a bit controlling and does not treat him very good, but I have never met her. He says he lovers her over everthing. Do you guys think it is wise for me to talk to him about this. We are good friends and have talked on a very personal level before.
I agree you should talk to him  [message #1683 is a reply to message #1679] Wed, 27 March 2002 13:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
tim is currently offline  tim

Really getting into it
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842



I do not agree that oyu need your wife's permisisn to reveal anything about yourself though
Re: I agree you should talk to him  [message #1688 is a reply to message #1683] Wed, 27 March 2002 14:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Darren is currently offline  Darren

Likes it here

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190



I promised that I would. She made the same promise to me. I sure this would OK it, but we have tremendous amount of trust in our marriage, and this is one of the ways we maintain it.
Re: I agree you should talk to him  [message #1704 is a reply to message #1688] Wed, 27 March 2002 21:25 Go to previous message
trevor is currently offline  trevor

Really getting into it

Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732



Dunno if you have all sorts of "sexual harrasment" laws like we do in the US wherever you are (sorry, I think you mentioned?) but I'd be careful about initiating any conversation about sexual orientation especially since you are gay and he may be interested in you.

Probably fine off the clock, away from the office if he volunteers - maybe say something to the effect of you'd be happy to talk to him about anything over lunch or an after-work drink or whatever.

I agree with you're logic with your wife, I have some agreements with mine as well, especially since she is still insecure about the situation and frankly has always had low self esteem and needs constant reassurance. Likewise, I don't necessarily want her talking to everyone about me. For us, a big part of it is the kids and our involvement with school activities, etc. I do hope I can slowly "come out" more over time without hurting anyone in the process, and hopefully being able to actually help my kids or their peers in the process.
Previous Topic: A post about life, the universe and everything...
Next Topic: Hi Tim
Goto Forum: