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Hi guys, I've not been really "here" for the last week or so but I try to come back to you guys :0)
Well surprise surprise (I'm using my sarcastic voice now) life through anotherr curve ball my way. I don't know if any of you remember but some time ago I wrote about my new found fascination with the opposite sex, well I now discovered that that is mostly all it is- nothing more!
I'm ok with that nothing new there, for me anyway. I came out to two of my friends some time ago (seperatly) and at that time told them I was bi but now or more precisely two days ago I came out to them again and this time as gay. I know don't label yourself but I don't we've talked it over and they understand and it's ok and they seem very cool about it (well one of them anyway). So now when I thought hey this is good it's going to get at least somewhat better now, well what can I say NO !!!
Last night me and a couple of my friends got togather to catch up since we are mostly spread throught the country me in the university and them in the army (not out of choice). Anyway one of my friends I didn't get to see in the last month or so came and I found out I'm actually attracted to him. The problem is that I can't talk to my friend who knows about me since he knows him to and it will make him uneasy and I really don't want that. The one I have a crush on is of course so str8 he makes an arrow look like a bannana (Damn it) and that I know!
I have no idea what to do now and I would appreciate any and all ideas and/or comments either here or by email or icq
email: The_Twilight_Wolf@hotmail.com
icq: 74723890
Love, Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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You have run into the problem that almost every other person who has ever fell in love has also encountered. The fact that you may be gay has nothing to do with it. Basically, you are sexually attracted to something you can't have sexually. And that, I think, is part of the sexual allure, the desire for something you can't have.
I really can't say what to do about it except, don't let your sexual desires cost you a friendship, especially if you are certain he would spurn you.
Hugs, Charlie
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Your right. The thing is that out of everything thats been going on in my life I was kinda proud of having the sense to seperate my two so called lives. But now when I started looking at my friends as sexual beings (which on some deeper level I refused to do up until now) I feel very diffrent and self conscious and just not myself. I don't think I'll do anything because like you said I don't want to lose him as a friend, he's to mportant to me for that. I was only wondering if this new perception of my friends means anything about how I am handling everything and just how worried should I be about this?
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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accepting of yourself. Maybe before the fear of the consequences of opening your feelings outweighed everything else. Now, with comfort and admission, comes a new look to everything around you, especially your friends. I think I would rather enjoy this new outlook more than worry about it. Just think of the possibilities!
Hugs, Charlie
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Hi Gil,
I tend to agree with Charlie. Good friends are too hard to get. Especially after you graduate from University. If you know that he is str8, there is no sense in telling anyone but us. I am not sure how you get anyone that you lust over out of your mind, but you will need to do it. Maybe some distractions may be good. I have never been to a gay bar myself, but maybe that is something that may help you. See some other guys that are not str8.
Darren
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