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The one who just found out [message #1862]

Tue, 02 April 2002 13:00

Guest

On fire!

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344

Hi, I am the wife of one of yours and even that I said I would not come to this site I could not resist exploring his New World, that I did not understand. I always thought of this site to be about (dirty) SEX, (even more) LIES and (sappy) ROCK AND ROLL. But instead I found kind of the male version of “a girls night out”. Only speaking for myself, I can say it has helped me a lot reading your stories (well maybe not of each specimen of yours). Now I feel I don’t have to be worried as much anymore about this square box that might swallow my husband up whole and take him further away from me, to a place I can not reach as a heterosexual woman.

I read the conversation of someone, who said he would not want to have females on board since he would feel watched and not being able say anymore what he would like. To be honest I agree since my husband is not allowed to go to my female nights and if so only as a guest once in a while. But speaking for myself and other wives that were promised (by some of you) a heterosexual husband at the wedding, I think you owe us to be a “special guest” once in a while. Just to help us understand were you are coming from and to not be frightened rather understanding of this to us new situation.

Even If your wives read something that might hurt them, I personally think rather know about it and talk about it than imagine something that might not even be there. And remember, by telling us you are gay some time after you married us, you have lost a lot of trust. To regain that to me means to talk about it not to make us feel you are hiding something again.

I can now give my marriage 2 thumps up, I’m willing to try hard and hopefully we will both get a relationship in which we both can excel in.

Darren I love you very much,
Lots of hugs (sorry guys mine are not just letters on a keyboard, mine are real)
Christina

I'm really pleased to have a female perspective [message #1863 is a reply to message #1862]

Tue, 02 April 2002 13:15

tim

Really getting into it

Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842

What may surprise you is that ladies often drop by here and other boards.

I undertand personally the "loss of trust" issue. One thing you may not realise is that it is sometimes difficult to tell ourselves, let alone to tell our nearest and dearest.

Come here as a full participant as often as you like and lurk anyway if you do not post. So many of the topics here are deep and general, albeit male/male oriented.

Hey, I resemble that remark! Welcome, though. [message #1865 is a reply to message #1862]

Tue, 02 April 2002 16:26

trevor

Really getting into it

Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732

Sincerely, welcome. I certainly understand and agree with most of your message. In time, I may invite my wife here, also.

I don't know if I'm the only one, but I had absolutely no clue I was gay when we were married. My wife was the only one I'd ever had "relations" with ever and still is, although I now know that being gay isn't necessarily about who you have sex with.

I dated a little in high school with a few of the typical "make out" sessions and my best friend was a girl, but mostly that was a friendship. Then in college, before classes even started my freshman year, my wife and I fell in love, and the rest is history, as they say. It was easy to ignore the few times I found one or two guys cute during that period - hormones and all - and I don't think I fantasized about anyone when I - ehem - took care of business alone back then.

Of course we all have our different stories and situations, but I thought it worth mentioning mine.

* H U G S * (Mine are well-padded.) Heh-heh - just had to do that.

Re: The one who just found out [message #1872 is a reply to message #1862]

Tue, 02 April 2002 23:52

marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729

This is wonderful... It is at times like this I feel most proud of who I am, how I live my life and who I live it with....

Christina, your analagy of this board, being liken to a "girls night out" kind of hits the nail right on the head... We talk about all the things bothering us as well as each one of our many and varied triumphs.

When I was reading your post I remembered a time when I was only lurking at the boards and when I took that giant step into this salvation. This place, and a few others like it brought to me friends and yes, even family I never knew I had.

This board brought me back into the world of the living... It taught me that I could love and more to the point I could be loved.... Oh my, how I do tend to ramble on....

Just know that your opinions are welcome... And dont be a stranger, you and your husband both...

Marc.......

Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...

Re: The one who just found out [message #1876 is a reply to message #1872]

Wed, 03 April 2002 01:52

Guest

On fire!

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344

Thanks for the invitation but I think this should be Darrens chance to talk to guys without him wondering what and how he can say, because I'm there with him. And also this decision is a bit selfish, cause he might say that from now on he will come every Monday to my special "no male" event. On the other hand we might start having more fights on who is right, since I always have the better suggestion for how to solve a personal problem for someone else. Or maybe it is just that I am an extremely slow typer and therefor I would get too frustrated on how long it takes me to look up the right spelling for every other word.
Thanks to everybody for being on this site. I can see how happy it makes Darren to talk to you, just don't start flirting with him, he is mine.
Christina