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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Why does it seem that so many of us seem to drift back to times gone by?
Does it really do any of us any good to hold ourselves at task for that unrequited love??
Does it do us any good to ponder the what if's and if thens of a love lost, or the one that got away???
Is it that we are looking back to justify ourselves, and the choices we've made????
If you could change one thing from your past what would that be? And, where do you think that change would have placed you today????
Just an idle thought......
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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you are doomed to repeat it." Maybe that's why old memories are so dear, we don't want to go through them again. It is better to look back with those rose colored glasses.
Seriously, memories are how we learn and grow. Remember the good and bad, so you can repeat one and not the other (you choose).
If I could change one thing? A real toughy. Maybe face myself earlier. But change one thing only, maybe be born into riches, hehe.
Hugs, Charlie
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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It is an inevitable change.
I would have screwed up my courage and told John THEN how I felt about him.
I very much doubt it would have changed "where" I am today, but it would have removed the ache of unresolved unrequited love. Note the word "unresolved".
Almost certainly I would have been rejected. Very possibly my fears of psychiatric treatment would have happened, or I would have succeeded in killing myself to prevent it.
It is likley that I would be dead today anyway. Having come out once I would be out. I am not naturally monogamous, and I would have shagged my way into HIV+ status and almost certainly have contracted AIDS or died by now.
Some good comes out of fear, I think. And that I am alive is, to me, that good part. There is much more about my life that IS good, too.
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I never realised when I left home and went to university that I had no reputation. And if I had no reputation I had none to lose.
I didn't dare look at "Gay Soc". It was brave and newly formed. I didn't dare in case "people" saw that I was gay. But "people" were no-one I knew. And I could have reinvented myself there, I know I could.
What I didn't have was the courage to break a conventional mould and to be then what it has taken me since I was born to become. I went to university in September 1971. I oculd have been free then, at nineteen years old, fit, slim, long blond hair and very sexy.
The change? To have the courage early
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Having recently admited that I am gay, has caused me to think about this issue very much. Up until now I never wanted to "be young" again. I guess because I had to many unhappy memories of my youth.
After "coming out" to my wife, this all changed. For a short time, I was totally unhappy about the way "I chose to live my life". I thought that having another chance, I would have done two things differently. (i) Admitted I was gay to at least myself and possibly a few others, and told my wife from the onset about my sexual orientation. However, with much reflection, I no longer think this would have made my life better. First of all, telling your future wife that "you are gay" is not the best way to secure her love. In addition, I am very shy and admiting I was gay may not have gotten me a boyfriend. Thus, I came to the following conclusion:
Re-living your life involves the following:
a) Possibly giving up everthing you have now (good and bad)
b) Re-living your live then and not. Being gay is much easier now than in the mid-80's (for me) or in the 60's for (others on this MB)
c) Not knowing what you know now (Hind sight is always 20-20).
Given these three conditions, I am not sure I would want to re-live my life again. Living a gay lifestyle would not have necessarily made me happier. I might be single right now and trying to look for a partner, which is not easy by any means. Most of all (for me), it would mean not having my wife as a life partner, can I cannot imagine finding someone better--regardless of their sex.
Thus, I am happy to say. I made the right choice!
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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people in 10 years, always bitching! hahaha
And IF I don't get him I'll throw myself down a cliff in Gozo and if I don't do that I'll just MOVE ON cuz at least I did what I could do. Not my fault he is a fool now,is it:)
YOu can dwell in the past and be misserbale OR you can look forward and AT LEAST pretend you're having a good time. Even if ya ain't.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I think you might have missed the point, a little. I think Tim and Darren (and I) are saying that if we really look over our lives and second-guess our decisions and circumstances, we're actually pretty happy things turned out as they did - so NOT so sad really, even though we sometimes feel like we may have missed out on gay lovers.
I'm glad you aren't afraid to listen to your heart and follow it!
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