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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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Sorry I havn't been posting a lot lately...School has been flat out so I have had no time.
Things have been GREAT lately for me.....
a lot of things have happened, and most of them are good things.
Yesterday I made the trek across sydney to the airport to meet another BL, which was way cool =). We hung out for a few hours, and had coffee. I was really scared at first, but he was a champion...and we got along really well...
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There is an openly gay guy at school named Tom, and his best friend is a girl named Helen.
anyway, Helen is a really nice girl...I was always thought she was a lesbian, but she aint....
anyway, we got talking today at school. (we skipped class together). and we started talking about TOM........then we started talking about gays and lesbians etc etc....and after about an hour of talking she asked me if i was gay or straight.
I freaked out...I just froze, and the little devil bitch had a grin from ear to ear. All I said was
"I am straight, I am not attracted to MEN at all. however, i did my fair share of experimenting when i was a kid"
she just cracked up and said "Don't We all"
I don;t think she is gonna tell anyone, she will probably tell tom, but that is ok...I think i can trust them.....
I am thinking of tagging along with them next time they go to a party and chat to tom a bit. I don;t know if should tell helen or tom about the whole BL thing......what do you guys think?
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Also, I am gonna get a tatoo when i turn 18. Any suggestions...I want it to have something to do with BL....Any suggestions ?
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I am worried for you. You want desperately to remove the BL issues from your life, yet you are also taking steps which may lead to your BL tendencies to get bolted into place. I think it is a scary road you are walking.
Be very aware that any net "BL" you meet is as likely to be a nasty policeman with a bag of candy. you have never touched a child yet, except when you were a child yourself and it was thus socially acceptable.
I feel you need to consider very seriously the therapist idea even if you are not yet financially independent. To me this is becming increasingly urgent.
Adam, what would you do if faced with a boy of your dreams who was inviting you to touch him? Please do no think for a moment he is consenting to any act, but that he simply does nto yet know enough either to consent or to withhold consent.
What next would you do with the boy's frined who came along to watch, but is open mouthed and would prefer to leave?
Be very self aware here. Be str8, be gay, be bi, but walk this road you are on with extreme care, and walk it without ever once touching any child.
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teddybear
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Getting started |
Location: Canada
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 2
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Adam I have just been reading your comments ...
Like Tim I think that you have a problem that you must bring under control, the first question that jumped into my mind was why you would want/need to meet another BL? was it to get advice ? was it to find out how he hunted? for thats the only thing that can describe his function.
You know that having contact with underage children it totaly wrong and if you care about kids then you must do something to reduce not increase the likelyhood of your breaking the law and actualy abusing..
Having been raped at an early age and suffered for the rest of my life I do know what abuse is !
sadly Teddybear
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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I agree with Tim. BL is something that you should try and get out of your mind rather than expand on. If the purpose of meeting other BLs is to help get it out of your mind, then it may be a good thing. However, if it gets you more excited about the idea and causes you to fanticise more, then it may push you down a very dangerous road. As Tim says, it could be a policeman. You have a web site you know.
You once said that you are interested in young guys and older girls. Is there a way you could expand your horizons to include guys your own age? This would be the easiest way to help get BL out of your system. The reward is tremendous. A real sexual relashionship with one of your class mates would beat any fantacy that you have. Are there any guys in your class that you are attracted to? How about Tom?
I would encourage you to spend some more time with Tom and Helen. It will be good for you. I guess you don't know them that well, but if you told them you were attracted to guys, they would understand. I don't think they would tell the world, as they know what it is like to "be gay" and "in the closet". They would protect that. Helen was probably doing one of two things when she asked you: (a) She is trying to help you (most likely), or (b) Tom has the hots for you and she wanted to find out for him (which is OK too). As for BL, this is something that you should keep to yourself and hopefully a therapist. You could say that you are attracted to "young looking guys".
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Good to hear you're feeling up.
I'm not sure I share ALL the concern shown by others in this thread. It is quite possible being a person with strong BL tendencies and get along fine without turning out to be a child molestor. This I know from my own experience. Pre-teen kids is simply not a place I'd want to go, from an ethical standpoint, and a moral one (but not so much a legal one, actually). Even though some young kids can be gloriously sexy, they're too 'fragile' physically and mentally in my own view and should be left alone to mature on their own (or together with someone their own age).
Well, that's my take on the subject... As always, other people's opinions may differ.
Anyway, going to a party with this Tom guy sounds swell! Go for it, kid!  Wether you should tell him about your BL tendencies... You can only decide that after you've gotten to know the guy properly. Be aware the moment might never be the right, just watch yourself there and don't rush anything. Better safe than sorry, eh?
As for the tattoo idea, I don't know. Just about anything BL-related I could think of is simply too naughty/indecent to be displayed on someone's skin... Even just if it was the word "young" and a male symbol inside a heart or something like that would qualify as quite borderline in my opinion. Even though it might be tempting to you, are you sure you want this? Tattoos are fairly permanent, after all.
As always, love hearing from you, and take care.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I would really reconsider ANY tatoo because they are permanent - can only be "burned off" with laser surgery or somesuch - and you're sure to wish it gone - no matter what it is - many times in the future. IMHO, of course. Maybe a nice peircing or earring or something that can make a statement, but be changed as you change?
I gotta agree with the others on the BL. I know, really know, what you think you want and that you would be a considerate lover, etc. But, there's a LOT of difference between a few boys messing around with their buddies vs a significantly older person seeking them out for sex. I can't see any "realistic" circumstances where it would really be "right" or "good" in any way - and I've tried to think of ways, believe me!
So, it's really got JUST to be a fantasy/wanking thing, or find a young-looking "peer." Even trading porn of minors can land you in jail, let along doing it, especially after you are no longer a minor.
Also, if you're overly focused on BL, you aren't likely to make any real relationships and could suddenly find yourself middle-aged and very lonely.
You know we care about you and aren't judging you. It's because we care about you that we're telling you your heading for disaster if you pursue this.
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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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Hey Guys, thanx for the replys and concern.
When i met up with the other BL, it was just as friends. I have been chatting to this guy for a ages, and have spoken to him on the fone a few times. We are really close, and we never talk about ways to lure kids into our beds.
When we talk, it is rarely about BL....He is just a good friend that I can chat too.
Tim, I am still very uncomfortable with seeing a shrink about BL. I personally feel great lately, and it is mainly because of accepting what I am. I doubt I will ever change.
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Regarding the tatoo, It is only a thought at this point in time....but, If i were to get one, it would be something very meaningful to me. Not only BL, but my other passions like music etc etc.
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I am not really attracted to Tom, he is a young looking guy, but looks a bit unusual. I am actually more attracted to Helen, so maybe that can go somewhere...lol.
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I don;t want you guys to think that I am some sort of predator...I have never done anything like that...and never will.
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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The discomfort you feel is natural, and no, I do not think you are a predator. I am ocncerned though that exposure to those who may or may not be predators may create in your mind an environment where predatory thoughts could grow and flourish. We none of us know until we are faced with the situation.
From all of our converstaions I know that you find the whole concept of touching a young boy distasteful, and I do understand that you nonetheless find them attractive. I htink you will always see their beauty, and that is not an issue at all.
The challenge comes when the opportunity to touch is present. You may be mentoring a kid and natrually and without thought brush a thigh. Which direction does oyur hand go the moment you notice? Towards or away? That is the challenge.
A therapist is a 100% confidential perosn who will listen and offer strategies to bring your sexuality into what would technically be defined as a "sexually adult level" where you are attracted or are able to be attracted to peple of the right age group.
At present my amateur view is that the experiences of your own childhood are something you want to repeat, and you want to BE that age still. The facts are that you cannot be that age, and repeating those acts will get you into jail. IN jail you wilL get more sex than you can handle, and none of it optional. You wil come out HIV+, with injuries to your anus and rectum that are likely to mean you are incontinent for life at the very best.
I know you are concerned over how to start seeing a therapist. Your words now, though, say to me "I will not see one when I am 18 and in control of my own insurances and finances", which makes me afraid for you and your future. Adam GRASP THIS NETTLE now, please.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Hi Adam,
I would strongly recommend seeing a 'shrink' on the bl affair, before it becomes engrained and you cannot escape that booby trap. I have worked with bl, and its almost impssible to control, unless you have been thorougly treated. Its important for two reasons:
1- for the kids: having worked with kids who got into the hands of bl, even if the boy-love was gentle and 'consensual' has revealed major trauma for the kids. They view themselves as objects, and are more liable to try to commit suicide, or sell themselves (their body) to get their needs. They also do not believe in engagement or love. Furthermore, many kids get labelled and are later assaulted at school or by their own parents. Do you want to be responsible for that?
2- for you: Kids grow up, and if u only love kids, u will not be able to build a solid, long-lasting relationship, since the kid is bound to grow up.
There is another aspect you must consider. Whatever you do with kids (even if you do not do anything, for that matter, the simple possession of pictures taken off the net is good enough) you will be labeled and sent to jail. Now, do you have any, and I mean, ANY idea of what happens to peodophiles in jail? You get beaten up, and gang-raped, til you die. U rarely live more then a year, unless you are built like a walking ice box. I have done some work in jails here, and most of my clients charged of sex offences with kids never got out alive. Dont believe its different because it's not where I live that u do. We put them in 'protective custody' and the guards actually let the other prisonners 'enjoy' the guy... even if its totaly illegal.
Now, kiddo, get your act together. You are risking your life and those of the kids you might one day have sex with.
Christian Martin BSC MSC PHD.
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Just because a person is a boy-lover doesn't mean that person is, or will become a kid predator/rapist/etc. Doesn't mean that person needs therapy, or needs to be "fixed", "repaired" etc.
Desiring and acting out are two totally different things! I see NOTHING in what Adam has said that leads me to believe he's treading dangerous grounds, so why's everybody so quick to condemn here, huh?
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Lenny,
I agree nothing Adam has said indicates that he will go out molest some child. However, there are other acts, such as possession of pictures, etc... that will land you in jail.
We recently had a fellow here in Canada that was procecuted for writing graphic stories about sexual acts between adults and minors. He also was in possession of a small amount of pornography (not enough to get charged though). He eventually won his case, as his stories were considered artistic, but he has now become an outcast in society. Many people were outraged with the decision even though is was probably consistant with our freedom of speech laws. BL is not acceptable in our society and I don't see that changing.
I am not saying Adam is a deviant along the lines of this character. However, Adam is also still very young. He still has fairly fresh images of the acts that him and his friends did in their pre-pubecent years. As he gets older, these images will fade, but the lust may not. He may (or may not) seek other (possibly illegal) implements to aid his thoughts. We are all human and the risks are always there.
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Adam,
Sorry for using you in the third person above. I think we are not worried that you are going to take advantage of some kid now (or ever), it is your future that worries us. I am seeing a psychiatrist with specialization on sexual problems merely becuase I have recently admited my homosexuality. In Canada, this is covered by public health care because he is a MD. Sociologists are not covered (for the most part). These doctors have taken an oath to protect your privacy. You may wish to consider talking to your Family doctor and asking him to refer you. I got refered by merely saying "I was gay". My family doctor did not ask me any more. I have only had one visit, and like you I am feeling very good about myself right now. Regardless, the first session was tremendously beneficial to me. It helped to explain some of the problems that I have been having.
I do realize that an adult has a much easier time admiting "he is seeing a Psychiatrist" than a teenager. You are miles ahead of where I was (at your age) regarding admiting my sexuality. I also realize that you are living with your parents and you don't want them to know about your BL or sexuality.
However, you have a whole life ahead of you. This seams like a problem that is so much easier to deal with now than later. I am no expert or doctor, nor do I have these feelings, but I think a trained professional can deal with this.
I do agree with you that feeling comfortable with yourself is very important, and I am glad to see that you are feeling this. Admiting I was gay did wonders for me. Moreover, the fact that you can come onto a MB and have a web page that talks about this problem is very good. Most would just try and bury this deep in their mind only to surface years later. Whatever your final decision is, don't stop talking to us and others about BL. It is very good for you.
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tom
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Derby, UK
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 47
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Hey guys, I gotta agree with Lenny on this one. Just because Adam's got a different view from most of us doesn't mean his is incorrect or unacceptable. Hell, homosexuality's not the most accepted thing in the universe, but it's far more accepted now than it was 60 years ago. People used to think it was an illness, a taint, a fault or something that needed to be repressed and treated coldly. Given the changes that have come about in that area, it's concievable to think that one day people will grow up enough to realise the fact that there is no more wrong with boylovers than there is with the rest of us! We're all different; it's our diversity as a species, socially, psychologically and physically that makes us so unique! so quit putting a damper on things and CELEBRATE IT!
I've had a chat with Adam on ICQ and to me he seems like a damn nice guy. And no matter what people say about how sick it is to be attracted to young people, I still respect that fact that Adam has the guts to openly state his controversial truths to us guys (expecting to be treated with at least some sympathy... even though you aren't saying it, I'm sure there are people on this board- myself included- who can't deny the fact that they experimented with other guys way before some pesky politician decided it was 'just not cricket'). I don't judge people based on what our corrupt, twisted societies have to say about them. I scratch beneath the surface and believe me there's so much that goes unspoken in public that, if everyone had the balls to talk about it, would change the way the world works for the better.
But until the world catches up with us, the boylover tattoo's probably not the soundest idea matey... might cause more problems than it would solve...
Nothin' to see here, officer.
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As an admitted BL I agree with Lenny and Tom. Adam has not given any indication of a predatory nature, nor has he advocated the sexual aspects of BL. But BL is so much more than sex. It is the love, adoration and enchantment with anything having to do with boys. And it is unfortunate that, except for maybe here, I would be vilified and possibly prosecuted for what I just said. Therein lies the validity of stern warnings about the mere mention of BL activities.
Adam: Boys, yes! Tattoo, NO!
Hugs, Charlie
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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To Adam (and relevant for all):
All I have said to you is based around the converstaions we have had on ICQ and the desires you have expressed. Those were to be rid of this or to ensure that oyu have the strength to keep to your sound moral judgement that looking is fine, touching is not.
We spoke about a therapist. We spoke about it with you very willing to see one. We spoke about it with you wanting to see one. The challenge is that you are afraid to do this until 18 because of parental considerations.
The reason for the apparently harsh posts (they are not hars, they are factual) is in part to give you the support you need to see that therapist to ensure for yourself that any wayward desires are controllable, and, in part to allow anyone in your position but so far lurking to se what would befall them if they trod the same road but with less care.
I am more than pleased that you are comfortable with who you are. I love the look and company of boys too. You are strong enough to resist the obvious attraction you feel. My own atractions start at a later age, but I understand you well.
All I know is that a therapist has been, on MY terms, a postive aid in the "becoming comfortable with myself" issue, and I recommend a consultation with a good one very highly. I do not LIKE th eone I am using at all, but I find him very useful to talk about subjects that cannot be talked about.
With him, for example, I have explored age boundaries, the possible dissolution of my marriage, the greenness of the grass outside marriage, the possibility of a young, young lover. It was oddly not embarrassing. It was emotionally drainingat times, but I decided that, since I was paying, I was going to get value for money. And I believe I have.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Adam, I hope we haven't turned you off with all the different opinions and challenges to your own thinking - I doubt it from what little I know about you, though!
I understand and appreciate all aspects of BL. I go to sleep most nights hugging my pillow and dreaming of a young cutie, and think of them when I beat-off, pretty much every chance I get. (Did I say I wouldn't be comfortable with my wife being here? )
But, I have a couple fears. I think the more you dwell on something, the more it becomes a part of you and the thoughts and emotions feed on themselves and increase. This is a problem I worry about, personally - letting fantasy interfere with my real relationships.
Someone mentioned that BL is similar to homosexuality in that it will one day become more accepted. Their are several differences: Homosexuality is viable and practical from a sex and healthy emotional relationship perspective. Boylove is certainly UNhealthy in these regards, unless the "boy" actually has adult reasoning, education, and wisdom to truly know what's best for himself and make an informed concent decision - not bloody likely. Frankly, the more time I spend with kids (my 9 and 11 yo's friends), the more certain I am of this - kids are not adults, but ARE easy to manipulate or trick, especially regarding "taboo" subjects that they are interested in.
I suppose BL is "acceptable" in the hands-off context, but if Adam focuses on that sexually and relationally rather than on his admitted attraction for girls, he may end up quite lonely - it's unproductive. Also, it's awful easy to start thinking of boys as sex objects rather than innocent people, which is part of the blessing of interacting with my kid's friends.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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What works for me, interacting with kids to keep myself sane, may not work for others. I have no raging hormones, have a loving family and soulmate/sex partner, and a tiny bit of wisdom through no deed of my own.
Does anyone know if boylove - the sexual desire part - can be "cured"? If it's another flavor of actual "orientation", I suppose it can't, although talking to someone about it rationally couldn't hurt.
Adam - please keep talking to us, either collectively or individually - you know we all want what's best for you and aren't judging your thoughts!
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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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I'm glad you guys care about me, i was getting the wrong idea from the first posts......i don't recall writing that i wanted to go out and act on my feelings sexually.
My attraction is 90% Boys 10% Women. M yage of attraction is
Boys = 6-14
Women - 16+
I dont know what to think at the moment about your thoughts on me. =/
I have accepted who I am, but I am not happy about it. It has made my life easier, and a challenge at the same time.
I am not gonna sit here and tell you guys how good a guy I am...I admit to have had porn in my posession at one point, but there is none at all on my computer now..and won;t be in the future either.
Tim, I am very scared of talking to a shrink. I don;t know why, and i know you have tried many times to talk me into it. just one question though.
Do sexual shrinks deal with BL regulary, or is it very rare ?
just get one thing straight before i finish.
I AM NOT A CHILD RAPIST, AND MY MEETING WITH OTHER BL'S IS NOT FOR PREDATORY REASONS
I loved meeting another BL, we talked for hours and i found it very beneficial. I don;t see him as another BL anymore..he is one of my best friends now.
I don;t know what else to say, I am just a bit shocked at the way some of you guys responded to my original post. I was just trying to tell you how good things are at the moment for me.
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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if I/we forgot to say: Yay! Glad you got to meet a new friend who you can talk to. We can never have enough friends, especially those we can really talk with. I hope things are still going well.
I don't think anyone here thinks you're a predator at all, but we want to keep you safe & sane, y'know? Maybe we think you're focused on this (more than you are?) because it's the part of you that is common to some of us and therefore you've shared your feelings. Hell, I'm probably projecting some of my own feelings into your situation.
I'm not sure that you need to "specialize" too much in finding a shrink, especially the first one - just someone you can talk to that can keep it confidential. Some may be more comfortable than others with the topics, but any professional should be able to listen and possible refer you to someone else if they feel they can't do a good job for you.
* H U G *
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brian
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 60
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Thanks. I started to doubt some things here.
love,
brian
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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A simple answer. A good psycho-sexual counsellor deals with every aspect of sexuality and does so as a friend and not a judge. He or she deals with boylove regularly.
There are more facets to sexuality than you can possibly imagine, and they deal correctly with them all. And in total confidence.
Think nothing about people's thjoughts except that you were brave to speak and we all care enough about you to reply, even if the replies were sometimes very direct. A direct reply has a major use. It creates an environment where self questioning is possible, it demands it. Ask the questions of yourself and answer them for yourself. Never stop asking and answering
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Hey Adam...!
Good to hear from you. Of course you don't need to tell us how good a guy you are, of course we KNOW you are a good guy! Alrighty? No worries, mate!
If you feel scared talking to a shrink, then don't. Not everybody needs a shrink, and one should not visit one unneccessarily, or just for the sake of it. I know Tim means well when he wants you to (he's a good guy too), and that him visiting one was beneficial TO HIM. But that does not mean you have to as well, even considering you being a boy-lover. You say you feel comfortable with who/what you are now, and that you have no intentions of hurting any kid. Well, that in my opinion negates the need for a shrink. What purpose would seeing one serve with that in mind?
Just be good, take care and stay on the straight and narrow and you'll have nothing to worry about. But this you surely know yourself already.
How did that thing with your father turn out by the way? Just fine, I hope!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Adam, I was a bit worried that you might be turned off by the directive-ness of some of the posts to your recent up-date. I have rarely found such "Do this and this or else something bad will happen or you'll turn bad" type posts here on this MB, however well-meaning.
I wonder if some of us would have been that alarmist and directive (NOT just direct) if Adam were older than he is.
I agree with whoever it just was who wondered if some of the more extreme replies have more to do with the projections of the writiers than they do about Adam's "problems" and the fact that it's BL being discussed. That topic rarely leads to rational discussion, I find.
Adam, take a look at the thread down below about a new book about sexuality and children. It seems very sensible and non-alarmist about the topic. It might make you feel better about your BL side.
I'm against the tattoo idea too, but not for judgemental reasons, you'll just have to live with it sooo long...hehehehe
Everybody, let's remember tim's own admonition about answering posts from the point of view of the poster, not our own. That might help.
Adam, you have some real concerns about finding good pyscho-sexual therapists (that will be the type specialists to help you as Tim says). Remember, I'm a therapist, and adults get treated far better by many therapists than adolescents do. Tim has been lucky in finding one that works for him. But sometimes it takes a lot of shopping around to find a good therapist in this topic, and it's easier for an independent adult to do that shopping and interviewing.
So Adam might very well be absolutely correct in waiting until he's 18 or of legal majority before he goes and starts talking about this stuff, even with a good therapist. Another year or 2 won't make the work of therapy any more difficult than it would if you were to start tomorrow.
Other people having good experiences with therapists I hope will help encourage you, Adam. I have had my share, as well. Therapy helps. But I have also had my own share of idiots who were terrible therapists as well. Again, easier negotiated as an independent adult than as an older adolescent.
To answer another question in a recent post above, BL is much like a variation on sexual orientation, and therefore very difficult if not impossible to change, sort of like it's impossible to change from being gay. Behavior can be controlled, but rarely will the urges and feelings go away completely.
But Adam is already working on controlling inappropriate urges, and that's a good thing.
Just my 2 cents, Adam. I like you a lot. You have guts and a good heart!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Adam,
Thanks for responding to some of our somewhat strong statements. To some degree, I think we may have overreacted to your current situation--especially, regarding meeting your friend. At the time, we thought he may have been an anonymous person meeting rather than an old friend. Friends are very good--especially in the flesh. I for one have never had a friend (until now) that I could talk to about my all of my problems. This made it very difficult for me by keeping everthing all bottled up. In fact, it totally made me an insecure shy person.
I think the strong words came because we all think you are a good kid. I mean a really good kid. And we were worried about and for you. That is all. Sorry for calling you a 'kid'. My wife thinks I should say guy, which you are too (a good one that is). I don't think anyone said that you would molest or even touch a child. You also seam to have the lines drawn correctly on what is acceptable and what is not.
David and others said that BL is not something that you can change. I read that somewhere else too recently. Given that, maybe you are on the right course of action. Just make sure you don't try and go it alone. Keep in touch with this MB (or others).
I also agree with Lenny in that there is no sense in seeing a therapist until you are ready. I seamed to recall once that you said that you were, but I can see how that can change. BL is a very scary subject to talk to an authority figure about. I am seeing my sexual psychiatrist in few weeks again. I will ask him for you how often he deals with BL issues. I have seen two different therapists in my life (one now and one for problems with my mother and our marriage). In both cases, I found them to be very helpful.
I personally am about 80% attacted to men and 20% to women. However, like your case, I cannot act on the 80% because I am married. My sex life is constrained by the 20%, but I think sex with my wife is great. I cannot imagine it any better. So I think your "prognosis" (in being with a woman) is good. You just need to find a girl that you like, and one that will accept you for what you are. As for Helen, lesbians turn me on like you would not believe. However, they don't call them lesbians for nothing. I would consider telling her you are gay (90% boys is gay in my books). You can leave out the BL part and replace it with young looking guys. Just exagerate a little about the age.
Cheers,
Darren
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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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I like being called a kid....the one thing that gets me depressed at the moment more than anything, is the fact that i am growing up.
I am 17 y.o. and I feel like a 10 y.o.....There is never a moment when i think about what me and my friends used to do when we were little, and I pray for a way for me to be able to go back.
I look at myself in the mirror and see an ugly GROWN UP monster. I don;t want to be a teen, or an adult...I want to be 10 y.o. again.
I thank you all for your reponses, i was a little shocked when the first responses came through, but now i realise that you guys are just worried for me.
Just want to ask you something though...I am 17, and by law in my state I am still a minor, and underage for male/male sex.
So does that meen that it is not illegal for me to be involved with other guys/boys my own age and younger ?
I am a little confused ?....even if it were legal for me to do so, i wouldn;t go out and act on this, it is just something that i am curious about.
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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This is a very grey area. It is best defined as "boys being boys" etc, but can be hughly complex when th eolder is seem to be much older than the younger
For example a pair of 8 year olds playing doctor is acceptable, but even a 12 y/o with an 8 y/o is perceived as borderline.
As one reaches sexual maturity or quasi maturity it becomes even less easy. 17 and 14 could be said in some cases to be consensual and with true consent, and in other cases to be coercion or even rape.
If the authorities want to prosecute they will always find a law to prosecute under. If the age difference is such that th eolder would be lagal for heterosexual sex and th eyounger illegal they would manage to make a Statutory Rape charge (or Aussie equivalent) stick.
The challeneg is not the pair ocncerned unless one or the other objects. It is the people around th epair concerned who will often see it as their duty to prosecute rather than listen to the kids involved
Which is not a 100% satisfactory answer, I'm afraid.
And yes you ARE a kid. Good. And we DO care, and the reason for the very direct posts is because the kid in you is ready to hear them and to make up his OWN mind.
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Hey Adam... You're ONLY seventeen.
You're MUCH too young to worry about your age, you have tons of youth still ahead of you, you should do your darndest to enjoy it. Being seventeen doesn't make you a monster!
As you know yourself, there's no way to go back in age. It only happens once in our lives. Right now, I think you're just wallowing a bit, but you'll come to terms with your physical development in a bit I'm sure. Give it some time, maybe do a bit of thinking, and you'll see that growing older opens new doors for us, it doesn't just close those we used when little.
I myself sometimes wish I was a kid again too. Not ten, because I think I, and other kids too, were a bit silly at that age , but thirteen or fourteen would be nice. But that's of course not doable. So I watch with my eyes, and daydream a bit, and I go to the gym and get "younger" by getting fit instead. And that works for me in a way.
As for your question of legal age, I really have no idea. I'm not an aussie, but I really doubt you'd get in any kind of trouble if you have sex with someone your own age. I know of no western country that would treat a person in such a manner. Just don't try it in Egypt, Libya or any middle-eastern country, mmkay?
You say you're not considering it, and I won't argue against that, other than to say that just as it's not wrong to experiment a bit when we're ten, it's NOT wrong to experiment when seventeen either. And that's all I'm saying, you make your own judgements...
Take care, Adam!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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