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I have known I'm gay for quite some time now, but have not come out mostly on account of my parents. I think they at least deserve to hear it from me personaly and not hear about their son being gay from anyone else. The problem is I don't know how they will take it and I don't mean I think they'll react badly but I mean I have no clue at all!. I have been walking around with this knowledge since I was 13 (a little more then 6 years now) and I could not keep to myself any longer but then I once more thought of my parents getting wind of this and could not bring myself to take any action. But then I started attending a university across the country and made some friends there. I then decided to try and come out to my new best friend there and so I did, now S is a good guy but kind of homophobic and pretty biased about gays, I changed that part about him he now admits. But as they you can take an animal out of the wild but you can't take the wild out of the animal and so although we remain great friends this is not somthing I can talk to him about. I understood then that I need someone who knows me a lot better and so came out to my best friend back home. Well, he took it very well and we started to have really deep conversations and I started to feel like I can truly be myself around at least someone, be "normal". But now that I know that feeling of "normality" I want to feel it everywhere but I know I have to be carefull and not rush anything and so I try. Now I'm getting to the point of this long message, this friday I told my oldest sister about me. At first she thought I was kidding and when she understood I wasn't she looked kinda shocked and so we sat down and talked for a while and she understood and accepted it and me. she then started to cry a bit and when I asked why she told me how happy she is that we're getting closer like she always wanted to. All this made me feel really good and so I wanted to share this with you guys who also always make me feel good or at least better. I am still going to come out little by little over time to friends and hopefully family once I feel good enough about it and the ... the world is min hahahahahahahahahah... :0)
I guess I really needed to share this with people who will understand...hopefully.
Feel free to respond or ask questions or just ignor I'll be just a happy to answer or to know that you just read it and know me a little better.
Lot of happiness to all,
Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Wow! You have taken alot of steps and all
positive. I know your parents must be so very
proud of you and when you feel it's right, you
will tell them. They will just love you all the
more. Small steps can be much better than giant
leaps when working toward your happiness.
I really like how positive you are  makes me
feel positive too.
smith
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Cool that you are thinking about this seriously. You might consider the "worst case scenario" if you really have no clue how your parents would react - do they support you in college or do you provide for yourself, for example? But, if you think about their politics and how they treat others (are they bigots about things like race) and maybe ask sis you should get some clues. You could go so far as to ask their opinion outright, on the premise that you've met some gays who seem okay at college?
I hope you read what I said above about parents and unconditional love for their kids!
Don't rush - think it through, good luck.
At least you figured it out early in life. When I tell my parents, I know it will be hard for them to believe (due to wife and kids and never showing any "signs") and not just think it's a midlife crisis thing. Some of my wife's friends have downplayed my "gayness" like that. Oh, sorry, this is YOUR thread!
* H U G *
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You're being very brave, Gil...!
And wise, and careful and even responsible. I'm very happy your experiences so far have been good ones.
Good that you're not rushing, but thinking things through. Who can say if everyone will react as well as your sister or best friends, but even if they do not, at least you have those three people to find support in!
I wish you the best. And, take care!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Michael Simon
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 92
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As teh others said, you pla yit safe an dthat is good, life bears risks but in some occasions you have to minimise them. Coming out step by step is good, and by the way, why do all ppl have to know about you? If I had a chance coming out to teh world I woudl have done it the same way... but I never had
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Simply choose the people and the time well. It wil not always end in smiles, nor in "good tears", but it will provide you with the ability not to hide any more.
There are places I would suggest you treat with extreme caution: the workplace is the scariest.
Do not confuse a feeling of freedom with the walls of a new prison. Being gay is a simple and small part of us that FEELS overwhelming, but is not.
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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Thanks, Gil. It seems that in breaking the ice with your sister, you've taken a big first step in breaking the ice with your parents. If, when they finally know, they're dubious or worse, it will surely help that your sister's on your side.
Hugs, and good luck.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Gil, it's great that your coming out to your friends and sister went so well. It is never an easy thing to do.
But the important thing is that you choose the time and place to do the telling. In your own time.
Remember, your sexuality is only one small part of the whole of "Gil".
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Cool, I think you are doing really well.
One idea, why don't you try and start a conversation about the subject before telling them (or maybe you have). That way you can have a pretty good idea on how they react. Tell them you have a gay friend in college or something. It is just an idea. However, at some point you probably would like to tell them regardless of their opinions and it is up to them to adjust them to keep you (as with your homophobic friend).
It takes a lot of courage but you are a better person for it.
Cheers,
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Thanks guys all you said means a lot to me.
As for my parents, well...we don't get along very well which is one of the reasons I decided to go to a far away university so I won't have to spend so much time at home. As a result we don't have many deep conversation and I guess I just never got to know them very well. But I'll get over it eventually. no worries :0).
To Michael Simon, you asked why all people have to know about me, well all people don't but I hate having to watch every word I say and think twice about every little thing I do around my friends. I only want to be able to be myself and speak my mind freely whenever we sit around talking. Although my sexual orientation is not all there is to me it greatly affects my life (still less then I'd like hehehehe).
Again thank you everyone who took the time to read and respond
Lots of hugs to everyone,
Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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Gil,
I posted a short essay (quite condensed) on another message board. I think it applies here. Subject: Coming out to those we love.
ALL THE BEST!
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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No Message Body
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The subject was: About coming out to those we love. Under the married and coming out to spouse board.
Again, Sorry
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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No Message Body
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Married Gay and comming out to spouse
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Things shuffle down
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