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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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When ever a relationship crosses the generational line it has to be detramental to the younger of the pair. Developmentally, lifes experiences dictate who will be the driving force in maintaining a relationship such as this, and can only result in the subjugation of the younger participant.
Such activity may indeed be "legal" in various places on our little globe but nonetheless they are harmful to both parties involved. In areas where these liasons are illegal, they are because the social mores and custom of the local sociaty feel the need and responsibility to protect it's youth.
I well know the propensity to admire youth but to admire is one thing, to entice a youngster into a relationship is another.
I also know all the platitudes... i.e. What if it is the younger of the two that vies for the relationship..... To that I have to say that if it indeed does happen then the adult involved is a better manipulator than most.
Relationships by definition must be mutually beneficial, and to be a positive influence to all involved, Physically, emotionally, mentally, safely. If the relationship does not meet all these criteria then it is a sham.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I do not disagree with what you say, simply the 100% certainty with which you say it.
So many relationships with a wide age difference are a sham. But there is a probability of up to 10% that says that a relationship is mutual, consensual and meets all your criteria despite a wide gulf of ages.
A very few will pass the litmus test of desirability. And many again will be proven to be expolitative, and not always by the lder person (Who has the duty to know when to pull back, so carries the responsibility).
But I will not judge any individual relationship to be real or sham. I am content to warn instead of the fact that probability is against it being a desirable and succefssful and mutually beneficial relationship. By making such a judgement I could cause a person reaidng here to feel dirty. HE knows his mind, and I do not.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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In my origional post I tried to keep it as general as I could because it does no good to pick out instances or expound on examples. What I am saying there is that the greater good society poses to us include the exception into the rule so as to be sure no individual is excluded.
Thus to some the rule may seem unfair or unjust, but we as adults, reasonable in our judgement, yield to the rule.
Yes, I agree, there must be a propensity for real and tangible relationships between individuals with a gap in years, but, these are rare and are still subject to local regulatory controls thus I ask this question....
In a truely loving relationship between an adult and minor, is it worth the risk of facing litigation, thus being torn apart by an intervention of social agencies, law inforcement, courts and doctors?
Is it worth the risk to the minor involved to be torn away from someone he loves??
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Whether a liaison is desirable or not it becomes undesirable if there is a danger of forced separation by authorities. The trauma is too great to be borne
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...The age of consent regarding sex is fifteen. Yet we do not become adults until eighteen. So under the letter of the law, a cross-generational relationship between a kid of 15 and someone twice as old would be perfectly legal.
Now we may ask ourselves if such a relationship would be ethical or not, but that's such a can of worms I won't even touch it.  According to the law, fifteen-year-olds may have sex with anyone they desire, no matter how much older that other person is, even though that person is still a child in the eyes of the law.
Just FYI, everyone!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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