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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I am not perfect in any way.
Let me list some of those ways:- I have a smart remark for every occasion
- I am hotheaded
- I rush in to defend or attack without thinking
- I never can keep my mouth shut
- I offend people easily and unintentionally
- I'm gay
- I'm married
- I am probably bi-polar, certainly in mood swings
- I have been seriously depressed most of my life
- Happiness has eluded me - it arrives and I miss it and grab a nettle instead
There are more thimsg here, many more.
But you each expect, or some of you expect me to be perfect, even tempered, logical, the soul of tact and discretion, rational at all times, to give you lomg and reasoned replies to things, to react in your timeframe not in mine.
I can't do that.
I ask for things the wrong way sometimes. People mistake that for "getting the last word". I don't want it. When I've asked for thinsg to stop then last word has already been said, but someone always wants more.
I have so had enough right now. Some things in my life are wonderful, others awful. Those who need to know about it know and are helping me. Those who hope I'll share it with them, I am sorry, for a number of reasons I cannot, so please try to trust that. But I have had enough.
Just to give you a trivial idea, yesterday I skinned a knickle badly enough to drip blood. 5 minutes ago when doing the dishes I banged the tip of a kinfie into the same wound by accident.
I am not perefect. If you ever dare to think I am, grow the fuck up. This is life, warts and all, not a rose tinted place, though I wish it were.
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Tim exactly for all the reasons above we admire you and love -so deal with it 
Just be you it's more than enough
Love, Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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I know you are not perfect. I'm far from as well! I just think you are a very good friend and that's enough for me. We all have our idiosyncracies (big and small), and I'm trying to fight against mine while coping with those of others. Because like I said, we all have them, for better and for worse.
(And sorry to hear about the knife thing, ouch that must have hurt!)
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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brian
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 60
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it's just how one deals with their imperfectness that changes everything.
does that sound mysterious? it isn't. it's simply: "you got problems? then deal with them. you have the choice to whine and change nothing or just try to make the best out of everything and maybe change tidbits. And you have to stay positive. What's been happenings to friends of mine, puts everythin gwhat's happening to me in perspective. absolutely.
as for people expecting something...you shouldn't care about them. you have to live up to oyur own standards, that's what matters.
love,
brian
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Relax Tim. You have founded a community here and as the founder most of us are going to look to you as our leader. People frequently expect more from their leaders than the leader is capable of giving. Our expectations are probably unfair and perhaps unrealistic. You are feeling that pressure. Take a step back and go do something else for a day or two. Ignore us, relax, have fun, feel better, then come back. You'll likely be in a better frame of mind to deal with things, including those other awful things in your life.
Think good thoughts,
e
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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A firm hug, with tears allowed to flow freely. At least I do, I know. I've nearly come to tears over this several times already.
Tim, we know you're not perfect in our hearts, but sometimes you do "feel" perfect, or somehow give that image - maybe you feel you need to look perfect, maybe it's my misperception totally. BTW, my list is longer than your list!
As a friend, I feel I must tell you you're wrong when I feel strongly about it and I think you did the same to some of us. We may need to agree to disagree on some issues and hopefully learn a bit along the way.
Also, I must apologize for dredging up the past. I am very sorry - I am usually above that and try to forget when I forgive - I'm told that God can actually pull that one off!
I'll send you an email in awhile. Meanwhile, I hope it's a two-way hug.
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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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Ouch, I hope your finger is ok....I jammed my toe on the kick pedal on my drum kit...AAAAAAAAh....Never ever play the drums bare foot =(.
However, I dunno about all of you....but I am perfect...*giggles* I wish
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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An apology.
I try so hard to be perfect and to make this place perfect, and when I fail I get upset, and I lash out.
I am sorry.
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I'm not very good at these things, but... *hugs*, Tim!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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That you want a postmortem on the fact that I stamped my foot.
OK. If you must have that it involves someone who is dear to me revealing things he need never reveal to anyone except at his choice.
He may choose to do that to you privately, he has free will and an incisive mind. I have asked him to sleep one more night on that before he decides to do it or not. But it seems to me that what he will reveal (if he does) is a private thing, and should not form a topic of conversation here.
My reaction was to protect him. I would have protected and will protect any one of you too. So please do not disect this and analyse it like a piece of literature. It is not literature. It is a dear friend. And by asking me to explain all you ask me to do something I am unable to do without either hurting or feeling that I am hurting him.
So please simply accept the apology and get back to being a family.
Families have rows. Good families do not have endless reruns of them. So, shall we be dysfunctional like the British Royal Family, or shall we be a good one?
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ien
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Netherlands
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 81
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Nothing much to say just a *HUG*
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Re: I know now how others with boards feel 
nobody's perfect 
You're not apologizing for not being perfect are you? 
