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dan
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Likes it here |
Location: Bath
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 107
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Hello everyone. I am back in the land of the living. Can't really type properly because I have selotaped the ends of some of my finger to stop me biting my nails. I am just trialing this method, though I very much doubt it will work.
Hope everyone is exceedingly well, and that the board hasn't fallen into madness with my absence for some time. Basically, I have been somewhat busy with work and crap like that. Also it is due to the fact that I kept standing on my laptop (unintentially), and dropping it in my bedroom, so the screen decided to die. And then I had to get it fixed, which it turns out didn't cost anything because I have a 3 year warranty WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Which was nice.
And now installed Win 2000 again. Ahhh. Lovely.
Well, all is definatly quiet on the Pip front, because I have almost finished my obsession with him, because he really can't be arsed to get back to me. I went through a little period of depression over him, but I seem to have emerged unscathed. Thank goodness. I still like him, and value him very highly as a close friend, but from the way he treats me, he acts far more like a buddy than someone with any attractiong (in terms of love). So there we go.
Although saying all that, I do get very exciting, happy, and hyper when I speak to him on the phone (lots of little electrical sparks throughout my body), but I guess that is going to happen, no matter what. I am just going to have to accept it I guess.
Been talking to Tom a lot, he is at school, and cannot really visit the board much in term time, so ICQ is permanently on... hehhe. And he has been helping me greatly with the whole Pip thing.
I have come to the conclusion that Pip likes me a lot, and values me. But has not any (dare I say it) love interest in me. His emails are extremely affectionate for a straight 17 year old guy, and it is like I am almost an older brother he never had, or something. I think he likes to grow relationships with other (and older guys), because he goes out on the weekends with his sister's ex-boyfriend (same age as me, if not older). Which is fine. Apart from the time when he was rather upset because the ex-boyfriend (of his sister) wouldn't answer Pip's calls.. And he said to me "but I fucking loved him"... which made me wonder for a while... But I DO believe he is straight, but gets very deeply emotionally attached to guys he is close to.
Anyway, enough of my mindless ramblings.
See you all sometime.
Dan.
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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No Message Body
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Sorry to hear you're in the same place as me regarding your love interest...
Good to know you're not obsessing or anything like that. 
Take care!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Hey Dan nice to here from you again. I know it is important to get over Pip and move on. However, I do have a question for you, does Pip have a good idea of what your sexual orientation is? Just a thought...
Darren
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dan
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Likes it here |
Location: Bath
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 107
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Nope. I don't think he has a clue.
Dan.
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Well, maybe that is the problem. You think he is str8 and he thinks you are str8. In the end, neither of you probably are. Unless you want to keep it a secret, think about opening up to him. Not about what you feel about him, but what you feel about the rest of the world. It seams like he has thrown a few hints your way, do the same. He may not be attracted to you, but at least you two could be honest with each other.
Just a thought ...
Darren
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dan
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Likes it here |
Location: Bath
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 107
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It is very easy to say "think about opening up to him". In reality, I really can't afford to out myself (or even anything close to that), because he is too close to my social circle (such a horrible phrase, I know). He knows lots of people I am very close to, and their parents, and mine. I am definately not out, and I dare say, I won't be for quite some time. It just is not feasible at this time.
On the other hand, I do flirt with him quite a lot.. In very subtle ways, of course. Such as opening an email with "Hey gorgeous!", or something similiarly affectionate, and praising of his (fantastic) good-looks. He usually ends his emails with "Hope you're well, sunshine." and stuff like that (he has a particular penchant for calling me sunshine), which I see as rather affectionate. Also I have had 2 emails, out of the rather large total, when he has ended it with "Pip. x" which completely drove me crazy and totally in love at first. But he never really talked about it, and it is a very hard subject to broach, and I would be easily knocked back.
SO, all in all, it is a v. difficult situation.
Well.. have fun everyone..
Dan.
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Sounds like you are pooped. I would not quite give up on Pip yet. You may think he is str8 for the same reason that you don't want to tell him anything: Fear. My best friend from high school turned out to be Gay (along with me too). He came out to me when he was 28 and I to him when I was 33. Neither of us had any idea when we were your age (although I don't think that either of us were attracted to each other). People can keep these feelings hidden for a very long time due to the same fear preventing you from opening up to him. On the other hand, if he is not attracted to you then there is not much you can do. You must move on ... Too bad.
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dan
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Likes it here |
Location: Bath
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 107
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Well, it's difficult. I do adore him, so much. But he seems to bring up the topic of girls (especially the one he "really likes") some times. Which completely confuses the signals, totally. SO I am not sure what to do. Whether to confront him (albeit, on the phone), and say something like "You're not gay are you?" and see what the response is. Although I am sure, it would be a mix of shock, and denial. But I really can't afford to let him know I am attracted to him, or gay, or bi, or anything like that, because it is all too close to home. Literally. Too many connections (everywhere).
Well, better go. May phone him tonight, but not sure, because I phoned him last night, and we had rather a non-conversation.
See you all.
Dan.
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Good to hear from you and that you're moving forward. 
"Pip. x"? Am I missing something here? 
