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the scholar
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Toe is in the water |
Location: England
Registered: August 2002
Messages: 59
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Dear friends - for that is how I view you all, whether we have had a communication in the past, or not. I follow all of your "adventures" on the message board and have come to love every one of you. I don't often post a message myself, but in the unfortunate absence of my partner of 20-years at this time, I felt I needed to talk to someone and you are, unfortunately for you, the only people I feel I can talk to.
Today I visited my doctor - not a pleasant task at the best of times, but I have been awaiting the results of a series of tests, some of which came through today. Sadly, for me, they are not looking good. Though still unconfirmed it is possible that I may have some form of cancer and I am scared. This may yet be a false alarm - I am praying that it is.
That's it, really. I've told someone.
Thanks for listening.
TS
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Tests can be frightning in and of themselves, and getting results even worse, but remember that even if it is *C* there are hugely effective breakthroughs every day and most forms are treatable.
Remember we are all here for you to talk to or even hold your hand if you need it.
My ICQ# is 64010568 and my AIM ID is Marcv1972c
Feel free to IM me anytime you see me online....
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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Hugs you very tight.....the waiting is the hardest part. We will all be right here to talk to you, hug you and whatever you need.
Marc is right. The tests are the worst part. Not knowing is the difficult time. Please know you are in my thoughts now and will stay there. My door is always open: reason2shine@hotmail.com. Think positively...and please let me help in any way I can.
Love,
smith
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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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I may be reached through most of the Messaging Services, and although I seldom have any of them active, I'll make a point of keeping one of them live when on-line over the coming days, should you feel the need to talk.
My user-name at all, with the exception of ICq, is "thegaydeceiver" without the double-quotes ("") of course.
"Post" a note here to let us know which service you prefer to use.
Warren C. E. Austin
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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dan
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Likes it here |
Location: Bath
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 107
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Hey, I don't know how helpful I am going to be here, but I just wanted to write.
My uncle had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, which was shoking, as he is 54 or something. And we (as a family) are very close to him, and that is why I went up to Scotland last week, to see him.
From talking to him, I hope I understand a little of the shock you might be going through, My uncle and our family have basically talked all week about it, and he is not in the best or circumstances, in terms of what the doctors have told him. I don't really want to discuss it further on the message board, but if at anytime you want to talk, please don't hesitate to email me, at webmaster@dgnet.co.uk
It would be good to talk about it,as I am going through the whole situation with my uncle at the same time.
Best Regards,
Dan.
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Cancer is a difficult thing to deal with. It's scarey even in today even though much of it is treatable. I wish you the best and will be thinking of you. Hopefully the news will be good.
Think good thoughts,
e
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the scholar
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Toe is in the water |
Location: England
Registered: August 2002
Messages: 59
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I don't think I have cried so much in my entire life as I have since finding so many messages of support at this time. So many good wishes and so much warmth and understanding. My heart aches with happiness knowing you are all there. I have spoken to my partner and have managed to persuade him not to cut short his business trip (despite his protests). A few hours ago, I would have given anything to have him with me, but the strength of support received from you all shows I am not alone and, hey - who knows - by the end of the week I could be posting good news. Fingers crossed! God bless you all for being there for me - the tears are falling as my heart reaches out to say a huge and sincerely meant "THANK YOU"
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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The offer there stands. Even if you feel foolish accepting it. Th eoriginal email. the one you and I know.
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I'm wishing as deeply and sincerely as I can. The story of the two of you, two best friends who found each other, has touched me deeply. You found in each other that which so many desire but never experience, and knowing you have a damocles sword hanging over you like this is...really difficult...
Oh, I so wish for good news, I do!
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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...... sending all possible love and support and good wishes. It's not good to be alone when the cloud's overhead, and when it's dark. But we ARE with you.
Hugs, Mihangel
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I have just read your post and all I can say is first and foremost BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. The surest, fastest way out of this life is to stop fighting. I know, you say How can he tell me this crap now... Well, I can tell you my own story...
See, about 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with terminal HIV. The doctors refused, initialy to give any treatment, and I was going down the drain... until I realized what was going on. I got REALLY and I mean REALLY pissed at the doctors slammed one at the walls, and found the energy to tear out the IV, storm out of the hospital nude (I discarded the hospital gown, not wanting to keep anything of theirs) and pissing blood. I made it home, collapsed after ringing the bell.
The next day, mom brought me to another hospital and they began treating me. I was so weak they put me on respirator. Now, I'm alive, and the dr cant find a damn trace of hiv, and they call me a miracle....
Now, AS FOR YOU, dont drop the bucket. Put up a hell of a fight. Dont become a cancer, be a WINNER. I stubbornly refuse to be guided in my life by that disease, I am not HIV, and I am not AIDS. I am HUMAN. I am ME!!!. So, be YOU not cancer.
Chris
BTW if u need another pep talk, write to me.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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My thoughts and prayers will be with you always with the hope that the tests will be negative.
I thank you so much for the enjoyment that your gentle stories have brought me and I pray that you will be well and back to writing soon.
Jackie
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I cannot tell you any more plainly than this: You have my shoulder, and my heart. As much as is possible for me to give. You have friends and support. I am one of many. If you ever need to talk, or any other help within my power to give, it is there. You have friends, and I am one. Rely on us. My greatest wish is to give back a little of what others have given me. A debt I will NEVER be able to repay.
All my best wishes.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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ien
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Netherlands
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 81
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No Message Body
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels fortunate you can turn to us. You have my prayers of peace and health. * H U G *
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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TS, I am so sad that you are alone when you really need someone to hold you and hug the stuffing out of you. I wish that I could do for you and Hugs you to ease the anguish you feel.
Dont count yourself out just yet ok?? I will add you to my list of friends to pray for. I just hope and wish that your wait is not as dim as it seems. The doctor just might have opposite news that you expect? Hugs from me anyway TS.
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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So he is surrounded by the love he needs.
He still needs our thoughts and prayers and emotional support, though he is a strong man and wil say he does not.
His partner did what we would all do. Rushed home to his side.
I pray for his peace of mind to face good or bad news with quiet calmness and confidence. And, of course, for the news to be good.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Wish you the best of luck
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As a new commer to this board who have already helped me so much I must add my best wishes to those already expressed. You will be in my thoughts what ever the results but will hope for the best. Hugs. Mike.
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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No Message Body
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Just because, OK?
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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This message is from his love and partner. He emailed me this evening:
The Scholar is fast asleep in bed and he is doing fine. No panic - his results came through and it is good news - all tests have proved negative. He is in the clear. The reason he is in bed is that he collapsed in the Doctor's surgery when he was told the news. He was exhausted from the whole episode and it caught up with him, but he will be okay. I'm going to get him to take things easy for a while, but would be obliged if you would post a message of thanks for the outstanding support received from everyone on your messageboard. I would do it myself, but I can't remember his password. God bless everyone for being there for ****** at this time - it's been one hell of a week and I know he has appreciated and been comforted by such overwhelming kindness.
Please add my thanks, too - words are sometimes enough - our friends in iomfats land has proved that!
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Thanks, too, TS's Love, for your efforts, support, and letting us know.
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Phew!
I'm as much at a loss for words as I was when first hearing of all this, but I am relieved...
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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That is wonderful news!!I have had him in my thoughts constantly. I am so happy for you!!
{{{{MANY MANY HUGS}}}}
smith
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Scholar, take it easy. Get some rest and recover. I'm sure this has been a very trying and stressful ordeal. You deserve a few days of rest. I'm so glad that things are looking up.
Think good thoughts,
e
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ien
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Netherlands
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 81
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No Message Body
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13783
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The Scholar was stressed by the whole thing. No surprises there.
He needs peace of mind.
He has had and is having a tugh time. Being told you are fit is sometimes as hard as being told you are ill.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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No Message Body
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13783
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Somehow his profile is messed up
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13783
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Good health after being scared shitless is a great shock. One may become seemingly irrationally upset by it. One may need great help and strength and be unable to receive it, even from those dearest.
We need good thoughts when we are well as well as when we are pronounced fit.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I just needed to talk to someone 
A huge hug....... 
Re: I just needed to talk to someone 
