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I have mentioned this before,but no-one seemed to notice.
I am 73 and think other people ought to know so that they can treat my contributions with the contempt/respect they deserve.
I find it hard to decide what to say to someone when I don't know whether they are 19, 39 or 59. I obviously makes a difference and I hope I would be more tolerant if I'm replying to someone a lot younger than me.
So this is really an appeal to Timmy to allow people that want to to put their age in their profile.
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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People may put what they choose in their profiles, but I'm not creating a special field for it. I just want them to be sure that they don't identify themselves by accident. They may do what they choose on purpose.
But be aware that this week's 19 year old boy may be next week's grandpa. People don't always mean what they say.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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My age is in my profile, but, actually, Anthony, your post has made me wonder whether to take it out!
One of the strengths of this place is that age is not an issue. I can say with certainty that I would never have formed the friendships I have here with people of such diverse ages in 'real life'. Indeed, if I had approached the board thinking, 'Most people are two or three times my age,' I would probably never have posted at all. There is no physical contact here, nor the awkwardness that brings; people post as equals, without the power/influence disparity there so often is (explicit or otherwise) between generations. The board allows a person's personality to take precedence, not what they look like, which is in many cases irrelevant to how they feel. I don't feel any different now, at 23, from when I was 16; I doubt I will feel substantially different when I am 39 or 59.
The only significant difference between young and old is experience -- but experience does not necessarily come with age, and it's possible for a young person to be more experienced in a particular field than an older one. He is unlikely to be in all, of course, so we can all learn from each other.
I would not expect anyone to be more tolerant of me because of my (relative) youth. I would not expect a person much older than me to command respect by default. I respect other people according to their achievements -- and, in almost all cases, these can be explained or demonstrated without reference to specific age. Politeness (what is often meant when people say 'respect') is also very important, but it should be uniform regardless of the age of the person to whom one is replying.
David
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:46] |
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... but I'm not sure that I can agree with Anthony.
If anyone wants to know my age, it's not a closely-gusrded secret; read back a few pages and you'll find it. But in some vague and undefined way I think that age is irrelevant. Opinions are no less valid because the person expressing them is a teenager and, equally, they are no more valid because they are expressed by someone of my age and indisputable wisdom (!). I think that one of the strenghths of this forum is that, more often than not, we manage to treat each other as equals, regardless of our respective ages.
OK, I focused upon age a few days ago when posting in support of Eldon, but that followed a post in which he specified that he was exprerssing a teenager's viewpoint.
But I accept that I've been hanging around these parts for a long time, so I've formed a pretty good idea about the ages of my fellow-posters. If it would make you feel more comfortable, Anthony, I'd be happy to share my speculations if you contact me by e-mail, but it would be wrong for me to speculate in the open forum.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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I have found that, as I have got older, my age has become increasingly out of step from the number obtained by calculating the number of years since my birth.
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timmy wrote:
But be aware that this week's 19 year old boy may be next week's grandpa. People don't always mean what they say.
Oscar Wilde said it better:
Lady Bracknell: Come here, sweet child. How old are you, dear?
Cecily: Well, I am really only eighteen, but I always admit to twenty when I go to evening parties.
Lady Bracknell: You are perfectly right in making some slight alteration. Indeed, no woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating...
Jack: Pray excuse me, Lady Bracknell, for interrupting you again, but it is only fair to tell you that according to the terms of her grandfather's will Miss Cardew does not come legally of age till she is thirty-five.
Lady Bracknell: ...Thirty five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. Lady Dumbleton is an instance in point. To my own knowledge she has been thirty-five ever since she arrived at the age of forty, which was so many years ago now.
The Importance of Being Ernest, Act 3.
J F R (Who has admitted to being 17 ever since he was 57)
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Well if I could choose what age to be I think late teens or early twenties would be best.
If I wanted to mislead people to talk to me as if I were some other age I have no idea what would be best. I don't get off on pretending to be what I'm not. Besides I am sure I would say something which would lead to my getting caught out (like remembering the declaration of the second world war)!
Maybe I'm just of too serious a frame of mind.
But don't you think that there's something to be said for distinguishing between people who might need or benefit from advice and those who are so old it almost doesn't matter what they do?
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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acam wrote:
> But don't you think that there's something to be said for distinguishing between people who might need or benefit from advice and those who are so old it almost doesn't matter what they do?
Actually, no. I was in my late forties and needed a load of help. Others are older, or younger and need loads of help. Age is just time served.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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I read your post with interest.
a person of 73 has learned a lot about life.
but the saying you cant put an old head on a young person is so true.
you can listen and speak of how you would handle a situation, so the younger person in this case can either accept it or reject it.
it will be rejected in part because we all have to go through the ;earning curve.
so you can be 73 or 18 makes no difference
its only my opinion.
if every one listened hey we would all be perfect, and we know that it is not possible.
life is to enjoy.
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Davide.
every thing you say is true.
you hit the nail on the head, yes our experience is always different.
that is why young and old allowed to can offer so much.
you are a young person with an incredible educated and old head on
no don't flip out that is a well nice thing to say.
life is to enjoy.
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Because a person is young dont mean he has to be stupid. Rememmber we learn from all you older people. We watch and we listen, yeh ok, sometimes we dont follow what we learned but were trying to see if we can do it better. Because a person is 80 years old dosnt make them smart. I know some people, (like my dad), who are like 40 or even older and are dumb as a hand full of rocks. Being older dont make you wise either. There are a lot of older people out there who make bad decisions and have no common cents (pun intended).
And remember, respect is something you earn, its not a given. Some older people are vile, bitter, and mean and dont deserve respect. Some of us younger people deserve respect. Especially some like Jon, for reasons some of us know, deserves all the respect in the world.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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I used to breed, show and judge dogs. An amazing number of people in that world prize experience over expertise, or at least try to equate the two. One of our most experienced(!) and thus obviously expert old ladies asked the vet who was giving a talk "But how to the gallstones get in to the gall bladder? Do they get in from the outside?"
This was right after he had explained how they were formed. She, of course, had no need to have listened because she was an experienced and thus expert person.
I learn a great deal from those younger than I am, and those older, if they have something worth learning.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Curtis, et. al...
There is a huge difference between stupidity and wisdom.... No one said the young guys here were stupid.... No one said anyone was not wise for their years.
Many times you and the other young guys have impressed me greatly with the degree of insight expressed.
It is a pleasure to know you guys.... Believe it or not, the zest for life you guys exhibit do a lot to help me personally with the issues I have to deal with....
I know sometimes I present myself as a grumpy old man... that is because I am a grumpy old man... But!!!! Never loose sight of the fact that I appreciate your (and others) input....
Huge huggs,
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Thank you, Jack.
David
(P.S. Please could you spell my name correctly? I've never spelt it that way, and have never met anyone who spells it like that in English. I'm sure it's just a mistake, but it jars every time I read it.)
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Yep. Its Only My Opinion (and I'm not even from across the sea!
Love
Anthony
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi David.
emm ok i take your point,
But if i was in wales it could sound like Davide.
They do have good voices.
Ok i now know that i will call you Dave, and if i need to make you listen i will say David.
eee. oopps lol
Hey i do like you though.
life is to enjoy.
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Dear Curtis,
I hope you didn't think I was implying that either the old are clever or the young are stupid. I don't. Indeed there's no fool like an old fool.
But we live in a society where the old really are treated differently from the young and I'm not thinking 'respect the aged'. I wonder whether we should try to treat everyone the same. Do you think we should?
Love
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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I know you wrote to Curtis, but I feel very strongly about this.
A very young child is not a miniature adult, but, teated in an adult manner, will respond as an increasingly adult child. I don't mean precocious, I mean delightfully.
As that child grows, if treated as a maturing person, it will both remain happily childish and also behave in a pleasingly adult manner. And, as allowed to take more responsibility, usually does not "disappoint", and grows into it well.
A young adult is simply an inexperienced adult. Maturity and experience are similar but not congruent.
As we move to become older and then elderly, something happens. I watched this in hospital when visiting my mother. The genuine war hero in the bed in the corner was treated as a stupid old woman because she was an unwell elderly lady. Old and infirm are despised by the very people whose job it is to care for them.
Why?
Because they are as unappealing as the young child is appealing. The children have messy faces because muscles are not yet competent, the elderly have messy faces because muscles have become incompetent.
Yes, we should treat everyone alike. We should simply modify our interactions to handle different capabilities.
[Updated on: Mon, 10 December 2007 00:10]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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Dafydd does not sound like Davide. Rather more like Daffeth.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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Iechyd Da
or alternatively: Twll din bob sais
[Updated on: Sun, 09 December 2007 19:48]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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ok she never did like me
she also used to say the babling brook:-/ :-/
But im not used to country people.
But she did used to cook me breakfast at 7 am in the morning when i got home from a night out with her daughter.
it was all nice and Hot.!
life is to enjoy.
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which, if I remember correctly, means arseholes to all Saxons - or Englishmen. Thank you, Timmy.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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Always amused the heck out of me when my Welsh frineds tried to teach me that toast! "But it means 'good health'!" Yeah, right!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Timmy,
Your 18:34 message on 9 Dec looks as if it is addressed to me, because I wrote to Curtis. I don't know whether you are agreeing with me or objecting to something I wrote. Am I just being stupid?
'Treat everyone alike', depending how you interpret it, could be a democratic slogan or a recipe for disaster. Obviously one shouldn't leave post-it notes for blind people. I think my children might have had a legitimate grievance if I had treated them just like anyone else.
As Professor Joad used to say "It all depends what you mean."
I really don't disagree with you as far as I can see.
Love
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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I did address it to you, yes, though as a generalisation. And I think you will find that I covered your postit for the blind: Yes, we should treat everyone alike. We should simply modify our interactions to handle different capabilities.
[Updated on: Mon, 10 December 2007 21:02]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Timmy,
Yes, of course! I did notice.
Love
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13785
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I am just passionate about treating the young and the old as sentient life
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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