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You know, I thought after a week or so I'd get over him. I'd move on. We'd just be friends. It's three weeks now and I'm dying. The pain is just overwhelming still...perhaps even moreso than before. I still look at the kid and I wanna bury my head in the sand in embarrasment. I look at him and my heart just dies...I look at his beauty...his flawless features and that beautiful hair...*SIGH*...
I miss him. Even though he never was really mine, I miss him. He was mine in my mind. But now that's over, and I'm left here crying over this boy...I was talking to my great friend and she said how there will be other people...but other people are not Conor. Nobody else is Conor. No one can replace him.
Please, I implore you, anyone out there in their teens or even if you're not, if you've been in my position, I think it would really helped if I talked to someone about this who knows where I'm coming from...it would probably help if you're younger since the situations would probably be similiar (nothing against the elders here, you're all wonderful and I love you all, I have no clue where I'd be without each and every one of you)...
-Tom 
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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Hey Tom, I had a b/f before that I loved and he was really special to me, or so I thought. He hurt me and dropped out of my life like you would leave a building. It hurt and still does to some extent. I knew (and still know) him since I was 6 and we were BEST friends. Unfortunate but he still has a large part of my heart, I spose he always will. I cant tell you you will get over it and move on, I dont know whether you will or you wont but I can tell you ONE thing, its going to hurt for a while.
Dont forget though, you have the Ppl here to draw from and also, you hopefully will find someone that will return your affections similarly. I am trying hard myself to get past it. Some days good, some days Less good.
A hug from me Tom and a smile. 
People have a habit of changing your direction through life
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Hey Tom! Geezer advice might still be useful, as there's no expiry date on each of our tendency to obsess about and fall for unattainable perfect people!
You already went a long way to getting out of the "Heartache Zone" by talking to him about how you felt...SOOOO many people never get up the nerve to do that!!!
Yeah, your friend is right, of course, that there will be another sooner or later for sure. Even tho it never feels like there will be at first. It's the same with many of us.
One observation...the more you focus on Conor, the less likely it is you'll notice anybody else who may be more available, or even looking your way, so to speak. Sooo, get your radar going again. Or gaydar. Whichever!
Another thought. From my Geezer perspective, you've got a great chance to find happiness and the right partner in your life. It may not seem like it to you right now...I suppose it never does to the one whose heart is aching.
But think about your age and how far you've come already. Compare it to my own time line. Deep in the closet until my mid-20's. Almost 30 before my first serious relationships. Not until 40 did I find "The One".
So keep the faith, and nurture the hopes and dreams in your heart. Hang in there!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Hey Tom, I have been in a somewhat similir situation no more then three months ago. I have been in love with one of my best friends for the last year and a half, we would be sitting around somewhere and he would tell me about his latest crush on this girl or that one. It came to a point I just couldn't take it anymore and tried to do anything to get over him, nothing seemed to help. Three months ago I came out to my best friends, he's been great about that but seeing him still hurt.
From that point on there was no more pretanding that he might be intersted but just afraid to admit it.
TO this day when I see him it hurts somewhat but he is too good a friend and person for me to give up on his friendship. It gets a bit less painfull as time goes by, mabey when I'll find myself someone I will finally get over him...mabey not.
If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me
Hugs,
Gil
Searching for the light at the end of the bed...
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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yup your a hurting puppy....that sucks or does it?
tom you took a step into the unknown and things did not turn out the way you hoped and dreamed...but you took a step, for that i am proud of you.
seeing cononr everyday sucks like a shop vac but its good to because you know are able to feel deeply for some one else, others arnt that lucky.
i am on line alot and you know my screen name if you want to chat/bitch/cry or anything im me my little bro.
peace
tim...of USA
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It seems that some people I talk to have said they didn't post a reply because what I said about people being "younger". I'm sorry about that, I really didn't mean it in the context of how it came out. I think I was just seeing if I could get some younger lurkers out of the woodwork... but please, if you want to speak your mind, PLEASE DO! This isn't a messageboard for nothin', ya know...
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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...Like you said, it IS a message board.
So you told him, I take it? And his reaction was not a positive one it seems. Can you tell what happened?
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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I posted a message recalling the entire event three weeks ago. It's in a reply to a message of Timmy's. I believe it was titled "This week a friend did something brave", I think. But, I remember that my reply was titled. "For those of you playing at home..."
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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No Message Body
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Three weeks later...the pain remains... 
Oops... 
I was away for a while during that time, I'll go back and look for it. 
