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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I know. It's always "for a friend", but I am suited. Honest.
But my question is "How does the older gay man, especially the gay man who enjoys youthful beauty, find his life partner, especially if he is inexperienced in affairs of the heart?"
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I think that playmate and lifemate are probably two different things. Sometimes the former can turn into the latter. For people to build a sucessful long term partnership they need to have more in common than sexual attraction. A large difference in age makes this difficult to acheive. In this case your friend might do well to enjoy the beauty at a distance and look for somebody who will stick around and keep his feet warm on a cold night.
Richard
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Now, how would he, a shy, non scene perosn with no attatchments (gutter!) go about looking? How would he protect himself from predators? Where would he start?
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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No Message Body
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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then, when your friend has friends, he will be able to begin searching for a partner.
Go to parties, events, places frequented by other gay men. You dont catch a fish without tossing in a little bait.
As for age, well, that all depends on the playing field. You cant expect to find a cutie at a seniors bowling night.
Just my opinion.....
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I suspect "life" is a good though obtuse answer. They boys of his youth are long grown up. Some will even be gay. I think he probably would like to see that he is allowed love too.
It won't be casual sex, that much I know. Itls unlikley to be a series of passionate affairs, though he may correct me. Most probably he would like quietly to find a manly man who is attracted to him too, with whom he can spend quality time, potentially make love to, (not fuck, but make love to) and who may become his life partner.
He is not "out"
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I think you can best search for companionship and still maintain annonymity by traveling. Go to a place, city nearby and you will be able to let down your hair so to speak in a more private atmosphere. Visit a city during a pride celebration, or think about one of the many gay cruises or resorts. There are a very many of those.
I'll keep thinking about this.....
Also if you'd like to speak one on one. My ICQ# is 64010568
My AIM id is Marcv1972b
Marc....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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He shouldn't despair about finding a younger guy that complements his personality and interests well. I did. It took lots of trials and errors, so to speak. But my Man is almost 32 and I turn 50 in a few weeks time, and we have been together for almost 10 years.
We met at a night club. He was with a group of friends and I was with another. It was a gay/mixed venue. Both sets of friends encouraged introductions, since we were obviously eyeing each other and lots of significant glances were being made. So we had a drink and a dance (in Thailand, even straight men can dance together so it wasn't a big social statement), and the rest is history.
Your friend shouldn't hesitate to tell everybody he IS out to that he's looking, and what he's looking for. Word of mouth often brings good results.
And he shouldn't neglect the larger gay on-line personals ads. Outpersonals is a good one, with lots of postings, both by age and by country.
Good luck to him from me, too!
Charlie, the Bisexual sites list is coming soon, I promise...I left the folder on my desk last night...sorry about that!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Oh, I forgot...there's a very good story about an older guy working out a relationship with a younger guy (college aged, that is) by a good friend of mine called Papyrophile over on Nick Archer's Archerland site. It's called "Along For the Ride". TERRIFIC story, one of the best I've seen in quite a while, really. And it's also complete!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Honest, I am not "the friend" for whom Tim has started this string, but I will be VERY interested in the advice.
Being alone 10-11 months a year sucks.
Hugs, Charlie
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Can we revisit this please?
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Ok, re-visiting it we will ( he says, sounding more and more like Yoda every day...)
Your friend will have to peek out of the closet a bit. There's really no avoiding that. he has to make himself vulnerable in order to be more visible.
It's not all or nothing...but he has to come out a bit, and here and there, or it wiill always be adoring from afar and like that.
As to places to find like-minded guys...He should try where he usually likes to go himself. Church. The library. Hiking groups. Volunteer work. Clubs. Whatever he likes, and then makes it known that he's looking too.
And now we're back to being a bit more open and taking risks...
and so around and around we go!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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And he should always try to introduce himself to guys he finds attractive!
It's amazing how many people forget that they actually have to SPEAK to the one you want to get to know.
And none of that polite British waiting desperately to be introduced, either!
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