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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Today the teachers were all out in the halls between classes. I guess it is just me being paranoid. One thing though I didnt have to hide or anything. It is hard for me to understand what it is about me that makes them all want to pick on me. I never did anything to them. The kids from my town are ok but the others are just jerks. My dad always treated me like any of the other kids dads did. I never felt different even though I knew I was inside I mean. In grade school the kids put nicknames on each other and I never realy understood until this year what mine meant. But when I think about it now I guess it all fits. I guess how I feel was how I acted too. Even then.
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You just made a monumental move in your life, and it feels like you have changed. But, like determining your orientation, you will find that you really haven't changed on the outside, it is the same you that was there yesterday. Just a little older and much wiser on the inside.
The feeling that everyone can see these changes are natural. And this is some of what smith and Ashley were talking about. You look at the world differently now, and how you cope with the new outlook will contribute to the definition of the rest of your life.
May you always look forward with your head held high. Always remember that the greatest natural force in the universe is love and share it with all.
Hugs, Charlie
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mt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 93
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Never mind the stares and what people who don’t know you think. If you feel that what you’re doing is right then ignore the jerks.
I’m with you in spirit!
MT
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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hang tough little dude, every day in your new found freedom gets a tiny bit better, some times the better is so small you cant feel it or see it but its there, trust this old guy about that one....lol.
peace
tim...of USA
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It's nothing else than the fact they've been able to get away with it, it's not you at all! I sure hope they will now be made aware that is NOT acceptable behavior.
I so hope you'll be able to have a decent time in school from now on, and that you'll meet some cutie of course and all that! 
Finally, do be prepared for the possibility of taking two steps forwards and the occational one or even two steps backwards again. Try not to be too crushed if some of the bullies refuse to give up all at once, or if they give you a hard time on occation. Hang in there, and please talk to us!
We're your friends.
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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stephen
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Toe is in the water |
Location: UK
Registered: December 2002
Messages: 31
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Still proud of you.
Stephen
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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My friend Marc said I should tell you what the kids call me. They started calling me Fragile in the fifth grade. When it started I thought it was funny but as I got older it started to hurt more and more.
When I thought about it I guess they saw that I was gay before I even knew it. I guess I just look gay.
Marc says that it isnt a bad thing. That it is just how I am and what matters is that I am happy with who I am. I think he is right.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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"Fragile" is such a silly name. Maybe you got it because you are able to express your real feelings properly. Maybe got got physically hurt easily.
Being gay means you will be stronger and less fragile than the most robust of them all. It means it for all of us.
That does not mean you should fall into the trap I did, of being aggressive and getting your retaliation in first.
I'm putting this badly because I am over tired. Maybe one of the others can help me out here?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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And it is just a name, nothing more. The guys that call you this don't know you. They don't see the caring sensitive boy that you are. Actually they are only aping what they heard your friends call you. They don't even have the intelligence to come up with a name on their own.
I know you have the presence of mind not to over react and end up getting hurt, and I know the names hurt. But they are only words, and words used without thought are just noise on the wind. The people making the noise are to be pittied.
You are more of a man than any of them.
And we all are so proud of you....
Marc.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Of course, it all depends on if you subscribe in stereotypes of men being men, strong (but not neccessarily silent I suppose) etc, but I just can't picture you as fraglie. You've shown such incredible courage, the image of fragility just won't "stick" in my mind.
I know you've had to suffer this treatment for a long time, and that a self-image is much harder to erase than a view we carry of someone else than ourself. I do hope though you'll be able to take comfort from the fact I and others on this message board see you as something altogether different than a weak, fragile person.
And besides... Nothing wrong in looking gay, many guys like guys like that. Not saying you do look gay though, I have no idea what you look like. It's not even very important, except I bet other people think you look a lot nicer than you think you do.
Take care, Drew! Be good.
We're your friends, rely on us. Let us share your burdens!
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Kids call each other all sorts of cruel names, and it is very unfortunate, but I guess it happens. However, I don't think "fragile" is that cruel. It is just who you are (or were at the time), and I don't feel it has anything to be with being gay. There are many gay guys who "robust" would be a good nickname for. Some people are just more "tender" than others, and this trait also generally comes with a big heart.
The biggest problem is that you were probably lacking self confidence too (like so many of us at that age). And other kids see that like sharkes do blood. The only way to gain confidence in yourself is to be proud of who you are. It has taken so much courage to do what you have done over the last few days, which is a feat that you should be very proud of. You are gay and you should be proud of that too. The more at ease you are with yourself the less ammunition that kids have.
Once again, like marc says, we are very proud of you.
A big hug,
Darren
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I wanted you to know. When I read the name they called you, fragile, I was surprised
For you see I think the word "fragile" is beautiful.
In my mind if "fragile" had a male face it would be someone like Legolas.
The word "fragile" to me is a beautiful word.
It conjures up an image of someone so rare and precious that they're almost intangible, someone beautiful and shining and etherial. Someone deeply sensitive, vulnerable...someone to be cherished, sheltered and protected yet strong. My boyfriend has that quality too. He is fragile yet he is my strength.
Fragile is a beautiful word to me. I hope you can think about it and realize that you have a special quality that radiates from inside you. Insensitive clods may fear it or envy it, but they see it, they feel it, even if they don't know what they are seeing or feeling.
Someday, maybe very soon, you will meet someone who appreciates the fact that you have this inner "something" that sets you apart and makes you special....fragile.
I hope my words might bring you some comfort and peace because they are true.
he shines
in a world full of ugliness
he matters
when everything is meaningless
fragile
he doesn’t see his beauty
he tries to get away
...sometimes
...sometimes
it’s like nothing
seems worth saving
i can’t watch you slip away
i won’t let you fall apart
he reads the minds
of all the people
as they pass him by
hoping someone can see
if i could fix myself i’d...
...but it’s too late for me
i won’t let you fall apart
we’ll find the perfect place
where we can run and hide
i’ll build a wall and
we can keep them
on the other side
…but they keep waiting
…and picking…
it’s something i have to do
...i was there too....
before everything else
...i was like you
~
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I wanted you to know. When I read the name they called you, fragile, I was surprised
For you see I think the word "fragile" is beautiful.
In my mind if "fragile" had a male face it would be someone like Legolas.
The word "fragile" to me is a beautiful word.
It conjures up an image of someone so rare and precious that they're almost intangible, someone beautiful and shining and etherial. Someone deeply sensitive, vulnerable...someone to be cherished, sheltered and protected yet strong. My boyfriend has that quality too. He is fragile yet he is my strength.
Fragile is a beautiful word to me. I hope you can think about it and realize that you have a special quality that radiates from inside you. Insensitive clods may fear it or envy it, but they see it, they feel it, even if they don't know what they are seeing or feeling.
Someday, maybe very soon, you will meet someone who appreciates the fact that you have this inner "something" that sets you apart and makes you special....fragile.
I hope my words might bring you some comfort and peace because they are true.
he shines
in a world full of ugliness
he matters
when everything is meaningless
fragile
he doesn’t see his beauty
he tries to get away
...sometimes
...sometimes
it’s like nothing
seems worth saving
i can’t watch you slip away
i won’t let you fall apart
he reads the minds
of all the people
as they pass him by
hoping someone can see
if i could fix myself i’d...
...but it’s too late for me
i won’t let you fall apart
we’ll find the perfect place
where we can run and hide
i’ll build a wall and
we can keep them
on the other side
…but they keep waiting
…and picking…
it’s something i have to do
...i was there too....
before everything else
...i was like you
~
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In a way, Marc is right. 
