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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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.... now that I've convinced myself that I'm gay, why are you feeding me these bisexually titilating titbits? (Btw, am I allowed to say 'titilating titbits' on a gay board?)Ain't life difficult enough?
And how is it that according to this board you were entering University in 1970, while according to TGO you were a Senior in High School? Is this some cunning plan to confuse us simple Brits? It won't work - we're completely confused already. I mean, this is the country where you spend years twelve and thirteen in the sixth form!
And why are you wasting time rabbitting on when you should be writing more titilating tales? Sort yourself out, young David, or I'll pop across to HK and give you a good analysing!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Actually David posted the links for me and other like me who still haven't figured out which way to go, or maybe like the variety, hehe.
Also, when you get as old as David, sometimes memories blur and dates become meaningless. Just because most everyone else can remember 1970, don't pick on him. After all, some day we too may become old.
Hugs, Charlie
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Oh, I knew I was missing somebody I liked while you were gone, Cossie! Just can't remember who it was...hehehe
Ok. GET THIS. June, 1970 Graduation from High School...
Got it? Now this: September, 1970...unpacked in my dormitory for Freshman Year at University.
HeeHeeHee...
That summer was fun...it included my first trip to England! I stayed at Royal Holloway College...anybody know it? All I remember about it is the funny scratchy toilet paper and an enormous statue of Queen Victoria...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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How dare you make fun of our national institutions?
Some S/M devotees get off on chains and whips, others prefer to use No.5 grit toilet paper. It's all a question of what you're brought up to. Sandpaper in toilets was a part of our national heritage, only driven out in the last couple of decades by namby-pamby American tissues.
But we Brits are bloody (it's the sandpaper, you know) but unbowed. We shall rise again from our toilet seats and **** upon the enemy!
Just you wait, Davy boy .....
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Mentioning toilet paper and Queen Victoria in the same sentence is probably considered an act of lese majesty  .
Richard
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... I overlooked that aspect. Now, if I remenber rightly, the relevant legislation is to be found in the Insanitary Exclamations (Colonial Territories) Act of 1867, Section 342, Subsection 7. Schedule 24 of the same Act prescribes the penalties which shall be inflicted upon the posterior of the offender. For David's sake, it's a damned good job that the Act no longer applies in Hong Kong!
(But, on the other hand, he might have enjoyed it!)
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I would immagine that Lord Palmerston just turned over in his grave. You should never have given it back. See how their moral fiber has deterioated without the proper British influence. Shameful!
Richard
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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True, Viccy was legendarily not amused. But it says in '1066 and All That' (and therefore it must be true) that when it was reported to her that Britain had annexed the Laxative Islands, the royal lip was observed to tremble. I quote from memory, someone having nicked my copy. (For those of you who know it not, this book is the standard account of British history).
More seriously, if only slightly so, I still have an unused roll of scratchy toilet paper ('Izal Medicated, for better family hygiene' if you insist on its pedigree), inherited from my mum who for years hedged her bets by having a double holder which carried a roll of either sort. I'm never going to use it: the soft stuff is one American innovation of which I heartily approve. But it's a historic memorial to a former national institution, and I can't chuck it. What do I do with it? Give it to a museum?
Or are we all guilty of lowering the lofty tone of Tim's site?
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No Message Body
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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I don't remember, do they use TP in Thailand? But I do remember the smell of the binjo ditches (common throughout SouthEast Asia).
Hugs, Charlie
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... but now they are confirmed. What an effete lot! How could a true-blue Brit ever prefer those decadent American tissues to good, old-fashioned Izal Medicated?
The Venomous Bead was right to describe the Welsh as an inferior race (except of course that they were really the British, because Welsh was simply English for British, if you follow me). When the English beat the hell out of the Welsh (before they started fighting the Scots, who were of course Irish) it was unquestionably a Good Thing.
So there!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Before Americans had effete Madison Av TT, most farm families recycled the Sears and Roebuck catelog. Now, that's what made America a great country!
Richard
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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.. they used sponges on the end of sticks. Question is, what did the Greeks use? It's said the Greeks had a word for everything, but what the Greek for TP or its equivalent is I confess I haven't a clue.
Come on, somebody - Egyptians? Babylonians? Aztecs?
Cossie, since you are still in the Dark Ages, shall I send you my Izal so it can be put to good use?
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Every sheet at my school had that printed on it. But WHY?
At home we used "Bronco". Like Izal but with Zero medication! The trick was to scrumple it up, spread it out and then use it.
THEN you used the paper!
At work I joined her Majesty's Civil Service. Each sheet there said "Government Property". I always wondered after the flush of success if they reclaimed it and cleaned it for reuse
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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First of all, put on a pair of super tough leather gloves. Then, with TP firmly grasped within your protected clutches, go directly to EBAY... do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, and do not expect to get too much for it .
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In Thailand, there are 2 types of toilet. The regular sit-down kind, and the squat down on your haunches and pray type. The sit-down type you buy regular TP for (if you're lucky) from a machine. There's also always a water hose with a "water the lawn" spigget attached, for a bottom douch, which has to be practiced until you don't spray everything for the square block near-by.
The squat type toilet just has the water hose, or worse, a bucket of water with a scoop that you have to also learn how to use...scoop and fling upward onto your bottom without falling into the hole in the floor or lose your trousers...
I once wrote instructions for use of the squat toilet with cartoon illustrations for a newcomers book. Pretty complex, and for some, seems to require 3 arms and hands...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... do you actually know any of these guys with three arms and hands? I'd like to meet them to explore mutual interests!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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No Message Body
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Like the paper. "Izal keep an open mind"
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GROANS...
Now it's time for one of Cossie's limerics...then this would be a perfect moment!!!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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There was an old Bishop of Birmingham
Who buggerd the boys while confirming 'em.
While praying to God
He excited his rod
And he pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em
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Episcopal...Anglican...sighs...heehee
I don't think I'll be sharing this one with the Dean of the Cathedral here...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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There was a young fellow called Faisal
Who laundered his asshole with Izal -
It was bought in a shop,
Not Government prop. -
So he crapped without fear of reprisal.
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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Sorry about the duplication. The first attempt got a message saying, in effect, 'message rejected, try again'. So I did.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Never mind...it was fun enough to read twice.
It sort of gives ya double vision, tho!
Probably too many dollops or something like that.
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O Revered and Ancient One .... 
Re: O Revered and Ancient One .... 
I always had my suspicions about the Welsh ... 
