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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Where Did All The Younglings Go..?
icon5.gif Where Did All The Younglings Go..?  [message #59832] Tue, 01 December 2009 09:16 Go to next message
Michael-Kent Dobison is currently offline  Michael-Kent Dobison

Likes it here
Location: South Africa - Gauteng
Registered: January 2007
Messages: 309



Howdy All Smile

Well I must declare that on the back on Warren C.E. Austin' latest post :

Posted by Warren C. E. Austin®
[The Gay Deceiver]
on Dec 01 2009, 09:23

I got to thinking and a little looking... and started to ponder what ever happened to all the younglings (Sorry but I am a huge Star Wars Fan;-D) ? When I first joined the forum some time back now, there was a rather eclectic gathering of folk here, and now we seem to have dwindled down to the regular few.

My only wish is that I could remember the names of the younger guys that used to post here as I would really like to get them involved with the forum again.

In conjunction with this I have also taken a much closer look at the topics in the forum and I am shocked...
Shocked into a state of horrific realisation, the realisation that all people can see in the world anymore is the bad, the negative, and the downfalls on man.

I do not dispute the fact that these 'topics' are just as valid and have just as much right to be aired here as any others. However should they enjoy such regularity in our lives..?

I stand very much under correction and please feel free to let me know how this makes you feel... Hell that is my aim... but why is it that we should 'Waste' so much of our limited and precious time on the bad... I for one would love to hear some good news for a change...

We need some new and refreshing points of view, and I'm sure that I would not be the only one to warmly welcome some Happy days.

Over and Our... for the time being at least Wink

Mike ;-D



"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
Re: Where Did All The Younglings Go..?  [message #59833 is a reply to message #59832] Tue, 01 December 2009 09:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Craigycraigy is currently offline  Craigycraigy

Getting started
Location: England
Registered: December 2009
Messages: 1




Hello Mike!

I'm Craig, I've just stumbled on this forum somehow and read a few posts and it seems alright.. open and friendly, so I registered!

I'm a young guy (20 and a half!) and I shall try to bring more pleasing and happiness to the forum.. just for you Wink

I will go and read some more topics!

Have a nice day Smile
Good things, bad things, balancing acts  [message #59836 is a reply to message #59832] Tue, 01 December 2009 09:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



The bad things exist. We have a difficult tightrope to walk. I want to bring good things here all the time, and yet there are a lot of bad things in the world, and we need to understand that being gay involves a fight, sometimes, just to obtain our human rights.

So my suggestion is to do what we can to act when we see a bad story, and report our actions here, and bring good stories here, too.

I won't stop anyone bringing a news story about an awfulness here. I'd prefer a comment on the story and a link to it instead of a verbatim rendition, but I'm not going to insist on that. That is just my personal preference.

But I don't want us to become a news forum. What I want is us to become again, insofar as we ever have been, a cohesive community where we are unafraid to be gay at least in one small part of our lives. That includes seeing news and commenting upon it, but we do not watch the news on TV all day long unless it's our job to do so.

That means that age or youth is not a barrier here. But we have to take some responsibility for common sense in what we post, too.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Good things, bad things, balancing acts  [message #59840 is a reply to message #59836] Tue, 01 December 2009 11:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Michael-Kent Dobison is currently offline  Michael-Kent Dobison

Likes it here
Location: South Africa - Gauteng
Registered: January 2007
Messages: 309



Hi Craig, its great to see some new faces and 'meet' some new people Smile and thanks for offering to bring the happiness back Wink I look forward to it.

But I also have to agree with timmy in on the factuality that there is great need for balance... Balance that will keep us in the loop as well as informed and laughing.

timmy : "What I want is us to become again, insofar as we ever have been, a cohesive community where we are unafraid to be gay at least in one small part of our lives."
Could not have said it better myself Smile



"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
Trying to keep a balance  [message #59841 is a reply to message #59836] Tue, 01 December 2009 11:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JFR is currently offline  JFR

On fire!
Location: Israel
Registered: October 2004
Messages: 1367



As they say: there is good news and there is bad news.

Let's start with the bad news. You may remember that about four months ago an unknown assailant shot and killed two people in a gay youth club in Tel-Aviv and at the same time wounded many other youngsters. One of those youngsters was badly shot and has undergone surgery several times. On the night of the attack the paramedics took him to hospital where they asked for immediate contact with his parents because they needed to operate immediately. Contact was made with the boy's father whose reaction was something like "I warned him not to associate with those poufs. He deserves whatever he got!" Since then the lad has not been able to go home and his parents have disowned him. Apart from his physical problems which have not yet healed he is also in mental anguish.

Now, let's balance that with the good news. On the night of the attack a woman called the gay help center to ask if she could help in any way. She was told that there was this young man alone in hospital. She went to the hospital and stayed there all night until he came out of surgery. When she realised that he now had no home to go to she took him home with her and has been looking after him ever since. She has four boys of her own and her husband is an army veteran who was severely wounded: he is blind and has lost a couple of limbs. Nevertheless she has more or less adopted this young man and all the members of her family are with her on this 100%. She has tried to talk to the guy's father who won't listen and the guy's mother sings the father's words to a slightly more pleasant tune. Since the young man is over 18 there is not much that can be done legally, and this woman has promised that as long as he needs it the young man has a home with her and her family.

I found this story in the Hebrew press. If it should reach the Israeli English-language press I will post a link.

Timmy, how's this for balance?

J F R



The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
Re: Trying to keep a balance  [message #59842 is a reply to message #59841] Tue, 01 December 2009 11:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



This is not only balance, it is balance within the same story. And my eyes are wet.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Where Did All The Younglings Go..?  [message #59843 is a reply to message #59833] Tue, 01 December 2009 11:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



Just bring yourself, Craig, warts 'n all. In time tell us what you want to about yourself, though be as cautious as you wish, too.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
icon7.gif I was a youngling  [message #59846 is a reply to message #59832] Tue, 01 December 2009 14:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
grasshopper is currently offline  grasshopper

Toe is in the water
Location: USA
Registered: November 2005
Messages: 47



This place of safety meant everything to me at a time when I needed it most. Just like all the kids, I lurked and read every word Tim wrote because I knew I liked boys but I didn’t know jack else. As you well know, there’s not much more terrifying than smothering in your closet unable to ask anyone anything.

I have to say that a lot has changed in the last nine years; in the world and on this message board. There are just as many boys (and girls) looking for answers today and, as much as we’d love to see world-wide acceptance and open arms, it ain’t happenin’ quickly.

Without sounding like a smart aleck, I’d like to say that not too many kids are going to open up and ask for help on a message board that seems to be for news alerts and guys discussing all their experience.
I know how I felt when I first saw the phrase “anal sex” on here. Dang Almighty, I hadn’t even held another boy’s hand yet. Gulp!

Tim told me to write to express all my fears and stress. Just Hit Send
started out as ‘me’ and morphed into the life I wanted. I gotta say, I’ve kissed some dog wrong frogs looking for ‘Danny’, but one day ……….

I guess what I’m trying to say is that young guys want to feel safe and understood by someone who can help. I made lots of buddies here along the way and a few lifelong friends that I consider my ‘Dads’. That’s why Tim created this message board …… to help ‘younglings’ just like me. You stand at a fork in the road with kids and you suggest the choices. After that, it’s up to them and, if they’ve had the help they need, the world WILL change …. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day …….

((hugs)) and have a great day ~
Jamie

ps ...someone likes Twilight. Team Edward or Team Jacob?



"You have your way. I have my way. As far as the right way, the correct way, and the only way - it doesn't exist."
Re: I was a youngling  [message #59861 is a reply to message #59846] Tue, 01 December 2009 18:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
M is currently offline  M

Likes it here
Location: USA
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 327



so nice to hear from Grasshopper. He was the reason i came to this forum. I came to the site to read Timmy's story. I had no clue about the forum until Grasshopper guided me here. Umm, that was about 5 years ago (give or take). Btw, i'm 22 Smile.

I used to come for the stories. The stories helped cope with a lot of the feelings i didn't understand. Even though i knew the stories to be mostly fiction, the thought that they had some truth to them made me feel ok about myself. Over time i stopped reading the stories as i learned to figure out things on my own.

The forum was so much different back then. Things change as expected. However, i still come back several times a week. Always have for the past 5 years. Why? Here, i get to read about things i don't normally read on popular networking sites like myspace or facebook.

I'll write more about this later. I've actually been thinking about it for the last couple of days.

In the mean time... twilight is awesome. I've read all four books and have seen the movies.

In the book, i'm all for team Edward. His character stands out more to me.
In the movie, i go for team Jacob. He is gorgeous Surprised and with that smile, Jacob has me melting lol.



You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
Re: Where Did All The Younglings Go..?  [message #59866 is a reply to message #59832] Tue, 01 December 2009 19:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



I commented a little on this on my other recent post.

I'm 24 now, turning 25. I first came here as a 16 year old. A "youngling".

But I think it's just technology. The stories brought us. Probably. Maybe it was Nifty's "Young Friends" section. It started off as jack off material because the internet was too slow for pictures or videos. Then we found more stories, better stories. Stories that made our hearts flutter. Stories that made us cry. Then we found Iomfats and his great stories. And we found there was a community attached. There were older men struggling to come out late in life. There were younger guys not even knowing what "gay" meant. And many shapes and sizes in between. We all had our stories, our pain. For kids in 2000 it was still really tough. I was "out" at school, but I felt I was pushing the boundaries.

But now. I don't know if stories are that popular. And well, without downplaying what gay kids go through today in a lot of places it is easier. Since the late 90s being gay has been a more accepted part of pop culture. Will and Grace first aired in 1998 and while quite stereotypical kids today have grown up on shows like that, or reality TV shows with gay contestants, or shows like Skins that show youth culture through a modern lens.

I know 18 year olds that were out since they were 14 and had few problems doing so. I know 11 year olds that talk about being gay openly knowing what it means with no prejudice about it being wrong or even "icky".

I think there's less younglings feeling they need somewhere like this- which is great. And there's also less ways of finding somewhere like this. And there's a lot more options for support networks and things, too. There's even gay teen personal sites floating around now.

I long for the Place of Safety I stumbled across in 2001. But things evolve and change. I still enjoy the fact that I can have an open, honest discussion without prejudice here. That we can discuss sexuality and sexual attraction on the whole. But it is a little more stuffy and about intellectual discussion than it is about tacklehugging. It used to balance both a bit better. *shrugs*



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: I was a youngling  [message #59893 is a reply to message #59846] Wed, 02 December 2009 07:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Michael-Kent Dobison is currently offline  Michael-Kent Dobison

Likes it here
Location: South Africa - Gauteng
Registered: January 2007
Messages: 309



P.S. hehehehe... Go Team EDWARD... WOOOOOOOHOOOOO Wink



"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
Re: I was a youngling  [message #63041 is a reply to message #59846] Mon, 19 July 2010 02:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Cameron is currently offline  Cameron

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70



Jamie, I just saw this for the first time. I have missed reading your posts. You are so wise, young grasshopper. Smile

How have you been? Still in school or full time cowboy? Did the broken bones in your hand heal properly? I hope it doesn't bother you anymore. Stop in here sometime and let us know how you are doing.

Take care of yourself,

((hugs))

Cameron

P.S. I'm 100% Team Edward
Welcome Craig®; I sort a missed the boat on this ...  [message #63042 is a reply to message #59843] Mon, 19 July 2010 06:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... the first time around, so I'm, hoping that you're lurking in the back forty or something to be able toactually read this.

"Ronnie Spectre" performed a tune back in the day (and no I won't hum a few bars, as I can't sing worth a damn) but the first couple of lines go something like this:

"It's so nice to see you all here tonight ...
we're hoping that you're going to have a real good time!"

That just about sums up how I feel about your arrival, and I'm sure the others here do too.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada

[Updated on: Mon, 19 July 2010 06:07]




"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
THREAD NECROMANCY  [message #63043 is a reply to message #59832] Mon, 19 July 2010 06:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
saben is currently offline  saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537



No Message Body



Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Re: THREAD NECROMANCY  [message #63052 is a reply to message #63043] Wed, 21 July 2010 00:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Cameron is currently offline  Cameron

Toe is in the water

Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70



Yall are just too smart for me. LOL. I had to look up "Necromancy", but it's always good to learn a new word.
;-D

[Updated on: Wed, 21 July 2010 00:35]

icon7.gif Re: I was a youngling  [message #66448 is a reply to message #59846] Fri, 03 February 2012 23:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Serfex is currently offline  Serfex

Getting started

Registered: February 2012
Messages: 2



It's too bad I never got to chat to you, Jamie. I guess you're on your uncles farm, and I don't know how long time it'll be till you see this.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!! You.... I can't even begin to describe how much your stories mean to me! Everytime I read I live through it... The Just Hit Send was read in a couple of days, it was amazing. Experiencing their lives; laugh, feel the butterflies rushing through my stomach (lol im a total romance addict >.<) and the best part of all: Cry! I cried so much when I read this, it opened for some feelings I figured I didn't have! and oh goood it has been so many years since I've cried.

I'm so happy! You have no idea how much this means to me. I guess a way to put it would be, I am a starfish on the beach, and you threw me out again, you made a huge different for this boy from Denmark. I know I've never met you, and I don't know if you'll ever reply, and I don't know if either of us are gonna see this message. but thank you so much! I love you whoever you are, Jamie!

THANK YOU.
- serfex
(I am a youngling I guess... after your parameter. I'm 17. This changed my life. Thank you so much. I will always look for my Danny, and I think I've found him. Ironic part; his name is actually Danny, lol Very Happy)

[Updated on: Fri, 03 February 2012 23:40]

Welcome "Serfex®" ...  [message #66449 is a reply to message #66448] Sun, 05 February 2012 10:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
The Gay Deceiver is currently offline  The Gay Deceiver

Really getting into it
Location: Canada
Registered: December 2003
Messages: 869




... Timmy®'s traveling and not likely to read you comments for a week or more so kindly let me be the first to welcome you into our home.

Jamie® visits us here at A Place Of Safety with much less frequency than when he was younger finding, like most youths in their twenties, his interests and needs are ever changing; but, HE DOES CONTINUE TO VISIT HERE, and he will at some point read your comments and be I'm certain much appreciative of your kind words.

It is rather unfortunate that you would have chosen this particular thread to respond to, as it arises from a rather dark period for this Forum and is not at all representative of the reception nor a reflection of the true warmth and friendliness we all would hope you would feel in coming here and which we strive for.

You will find much here of value, and I don't specifically mean this forum alone; but too, the entire web-site taken as a whole. Yes, here in the Forum, we continue to appear to be more concerned with the dreadful state of World affairs as they respect gay issues and rights; but, we in addition do offer insight into the lighter side of things as evidenced by recent threads featuring amongst other topics vintage photography and it's likely pornographic tendencies and what not; whereas the web-site features in addition to this Forum, Pastorl Care and Sex/Health Information, what we hope you'll find are Useful "Links" to notable content elsewhere, the Poetry Corner and the ubiquitous Story-shelf (which you have apparently found), and Jamie®'s wonderful teen-angst driven snap-shots of one particular youth's rather remarkable journey into manhood. Try too, Paul Schroder®'s tales, or those of Mihangel Hwntw®, D'Artagnon®, Chris James®, The Eggman® and Paul Jamieson® just to name a few of my own favourites, and not in the least forgetting for a moment those of our Host Timmy® either. Each and every one of the many authors found here have be especially invited to share their unique vision and insight into the worlds they occupy and hopefully you'll come to feel as I do that they all have contributed in one fashion or another in helping you, as they have me, and hopefully a whole lot of others too, an understanding of who and what we are as Gay men.

Whether you jump right in and ask questions of us, or share your own vision, or simply sit back and rest a while, I sincerely hope you'll enjoy your stay and find some value in your having done so.

Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada

[Updated on: Sun, 05 February 2012 10:25]




"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
icon7.gif Re: Welcome "Serfex®" ...  [message #66450 is a reply to message #66449] Sun, 05 February 2012 15:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Serfex is currently offline  Serfex

Getting started

Registered: February 2012
Messages: 2



Hi Warren!
I'm glad to know he visits here Smile His stories mean so much to me... They've really changed a lot of my perception of life.. I'm still wondering how a teen such as myself'd be able to write something so brilliant. I mean, I've written some stories myself (Well, for a specific fan-art kinda thing) but I'm soo far out of his league! I mean this ... This is something that should be in a book to help other's like me struggling with their new feelings. But it has just been wonderful following these unique people (and the incredible part, created from imagination?!) and go through their lives from my age till they became old. I feel like everywhere I go, I can talk to them, Dan, Jordan... They're kinda with me, thinking what would they've done? Hehehe Smile It's really great. I love this story, especially the addiction of the feeling that my stomach just goes "wheee" everytime I read something of them confessing their love

I think I'm gonna go read a lot of his other stories Smile They mean so much to me, I can't emphasize it enough, it's like their universe has become an important part of my life... It's like the Starfish thing from the story he wrote about, like how there are sooo many gay teens out there struggling with parents, friends, coming out, family, religion etc. and eventhough we're just a few to find these, the stories radically change our lives.

Thanks for your reply, eventhough I think this forum and everything is sooo confusing, I had no idea where to write a reply where Jamie would even notice it xD So I just found some random post, not knowing it was a "dark subject" for this forum =p I don't really know how to navigate in here, I must admit. It would be cool if there'd just be some "online" chat room, where people'd be in my age and I could make friends, like when Jordan wrote his "will anyone listen?" in "Just Hit Send" Smile

best regards,
me
We make our own difference  [message #66455 is a reply to message #66450] Thu, 09 February 2012 15:55 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13739



You threw your own starfish back. You did it. No-one else. You started to find the courage to be who you are. Now you will grow. I hope you will help others to grow, too.

We have many authors here. All have something relevant to say to you. All will tell you the same thing: Be yourself, and be safe while being yourself. And pay any help forward to another soul in pain.

Stay here and share things with us, but never reveal your address here. Contact details are not what this place is about. Tell us your hopes and fears. Someone here will identify with them and may answer you.

I hope your Danny is the boy for you.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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