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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > smithJunk
icon7.gif smithJunk  [message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 02:25 Go to next message
smith is currently offline  smith

On fire!

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095



LIFE'S LESSONS

I've learned:
that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

that being kind is more important than being right.

that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

that love, not time, heals all wounds.


that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

***********
I admire and respect all that Drew and Tom went through in telling their parents. Just please remember that everyone's situation is different. Some people can't,or don't even want to,share their feelings in RL. We all do what is right for us.
Like I said.........I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

smith
icon7.gif Re: smithJunk  [message #6726 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 03:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
brian! is currently offline  brian!

Likes it here
Location: North West Ohio, USA
Registered: December 2002
Messages: 268




Exactly smith, couldn't agree with you more. When I'm hurting, I'd rather be alone, or here online with my friends. Talking about your feelings in real life is hard to do, but it is getting easier for me with my new friend, and soon to be house mate. He's a great friend, and is already understanding when I'm in a bad mood. I think were going to get alone great.

By the way, this is pacman2, just got my name changed is all..

Brian



To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
icon14.gif Hey smith, that is SO TRUE. Especially about the hand and the heart.  [message #6729 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 07:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
lenny is currently offline  lenny

On fire!
Location: Far Away
Registered: March 2002
Messages: 1755



No Message Body



"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."

-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
icon14.gif Re: smith's Wisdom  [message #6730 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 09:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ashley is currently offline  ashley

Likes it here
Location: Sydney Australia
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 318




You have grabbed the focus and made it appear more real than before smith. Sometimes we think that people should do and change things because we think they should but most of us know instinctively when that time is right.

You hit the nail on the head about Love and Time. Time can make you forget the hurt but love can help defeat it. Smile



People have a habit of changing your direction through life
Thanks for that smith!  [message #6731 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 10:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
nick is currently offline  nick

Likes it here
Location: London
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 351



You've made my day.
icon7.gif You're a wise man, Charlie Brown  [message #6732 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 11:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
setras is currently offline  setras

Likes it here
Location: Finland
Registered: August 2003
Messages: 172



No Message Body



That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
-Master Li in Neil Gaiman's Sandman
you did it again  [message #6733 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 11:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771



Showed, as usual, tact, humility and assertiveness. And yes, dammit, I admire that.

We so admire the people who have the courage to use their opportunities. We forget those who are unable to see and opportunity, far less those who currently choose not to make use of one even if it presents itself.

Each is worthy of admiration, for each route takes equal courage. It's just that the silent route is invisible.

So, to you, my friend with invisible courage, from me who had invisible courage, and to all such men and boys who have the same need for a cloak of invisibility, I offer my "medal of honour" in exactly the same way I offer it to those who have been able to speak out.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: smithJunk....or the wise words of a young man  [message #6734 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 12:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
tim...of usa is currently offline  tim...of usa

Likes it here
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266



you never fail to amaze me smith.

Always remember that you have my respect for who you are...be it an on line name or the kid who has the heart of gold and stands up for those being done wrong...your superman in my eyes smith. you time and time agin have proven to be a bigger man at your age than i ever was and a bigger man than i am today at times.
the whole commin out thing is a big deal and deserves congrats and support but some folks...you included cant do that for what ever personal reasons they have and i respect that,a tad bit more than the act of comming out. it takes a really HUGE man to know his limits and to know that no matter how knoble and pure his intentions his comming out will cause more harm than good.
come out
stay in the closet
heck hide in the woods
you and only you know what is best for smith and jaimes world (family friends ect)

with love and respect
peace
tim...of USA
Who in their right mind would dispute it.....  [message #6735 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 13:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Cleche' has a way of being timeless.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: Who in their right mind would dispute it.....  [message #6741 is a reply to message #6735] Thu, 19 December 2002 17:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



>>Cleche' has a way of being timeless.<<



If you meant "cliché", in my view you are being very rude to someone who does not deserve it.



Perhaps you meant something else that I have not understood.

Re: smithJunk  [message #6744 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 18:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
stephen is currently offline  stephen

Toe is in the water
Location: UK
Registered: December 2002
Messages: 31



smith, you've often made my day - and that of a lot of people. Thank you.

Stephen
A kiss for smith  [message #6746 is a reply to message #6724] Thu, 19 December 2002 19:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ien is currently offline  ien

Toe is in the water
Location: Netherlands
Registered: April 2002
Messages: 81



*KISS*
Yes I did, and the next time I need a spell check I'll call you....  [message #6747 is a reply to message #6741] Thu, 19 December 2002 20:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



No Message Body



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
icon7.gif Anything to oblige.  [message #6751 is a reply to message #6747] Fri, 20 December 2002 05:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



No Message Body
Re: Anything to oblige.  [message #6753 is a reply to message #6751] Fri, 20 December 2002 10:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ron is currently offline  ron

Really getting into it
Location: Bridgeport, Connecticut U...
Registered: January 2003
Messages: 478




First of all, to Steve: please forgive me for replying off of this posting; I just wanted for your posting to hold this spot in the thread where it belongs without this one "butting in". The following remarks are certainly NOT directed at you.

While it's sad enough to see how some people suffer from such low self-esteem as is being exhibited here, it is even sadder when they see some other person as being the cause of that low self-esteem and take out their frustrations on that person (especially in a forum like this where the target of those frustrations has every right to expect to feel free from such things). As much as it may pain these people to hear this, the thoughts expressed at the top of this thread are not clichés to be ignored, they are truths we all need to be reminded of. If at the root of this lack of self-esteem is the fact that those truths come from the thoughts of one much younger, then we need also bear in mind another "clichéd truth": "Out of the mouths of babes [and I use that term loosely!] oft times come "smithGems" (and certainly not "smithJunk!).

As we express our happiness for Drew and Tom, again let us not forget that each person's situation is completely different from anybody else's situation. They are most fortunate indeed, Drew and Tom (as I think they already know), not only in that their experience was a positive one, but even more so in that they were able to find themselves in the situation where it was possible for them to do so in the first place. In that, they are sadly in a minority. For every "Drew" and "Tom" out there, there are many more who are simply not in that same position, and for a variety of reasons: that they don't want to hurt anybody else by so doing; that they fear how those affected by it may react and how that reaction may affect them; or simply that they just don't feel ready to do so, sometimes because they're not really sure themselves. These are the people (participants as well as lurkers) that we should be constantly mindful of, so that these expressions of happiness not make them feel in any way alienated or unwelcome here (and that, I know for fact, is more than just a possibility). This is a "place of safety" for everybody, but especially for them; and they should never be made to feel pressured in any way to do anything they feel may not be in their best interest (at the very least not until THEY feel that THEY are ready to do so on THEIR OWN terms). Facts of life like these can all too easily go overlooked in our altruistic zeal to offer support and encouragement; and while it remains most essential that we continue to offer support and encouragement to each other, let's be on our guard that in so doing we don’t defeat the whole purpose.

For any of you who may have been made to feel alienated or unwelcome here by any of this but nevertheless still find yourself lurking: this place still needs you, and your participation is still most vital. Most people here feel that this community is like family to them; and so, as those commercials for the Olive Garden (an American chain of Italian restaurants) say, “When you’re here, you’re family.”

Please pass the salad.



We do not remember days...we remember moments.

Cesare Pavese
icon7.gif Re: Ron's message -  [message #6755 is a reply to message #6753] Fri, 20 December 2002 11:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Steve is currently offline  Steve

Really getting into it
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465



Thank you, Ron for saying this so eloquently.

The story goes that when Oscar Wilde made one of his exquisite quips one of the bystanders said, "Oh, Oscar, I do wish I had said that." To which Wilde replied, "You will, you will!"

Oh, Ron, I do wish I had said what wou said... I will, I will!
Re: Ron's message -  [message #6756 is a reply to message #6755] Fri, 20 December 2002 13:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ron is currently offline  ron

Really getting into it
Location: Bridgeport, Connecticut U...
Registered: January 2003
Messages: 478




Steve, you have said it, in your own inimitable way, many (many!) times, and I'm sure you'll continue to.

Thanks.



We do not remember days...we remember moments.

Cesare Pavese
Really now.....  [message #6757 is a reply to message #6753] Fri, 20 December 2002 16:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



The fact is that what makes a cliché a cliché is it's ability to be timeless.

And the sad thing, indeed, is when a compliment is takes so adversly.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
I think what we have is a misunderstanding  [message #6758 is a reply to message #6757] Fri, 20 December 2002 16:18 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771



Now, let's leave this. It was a compliment. Marc is certain of his mood when he wrote it. And yes, cliches ARE timeless. And that, I think, should draw a line under it without detracting from what smith said, and what Marc meant to reinforce



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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