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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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well ed and i have been spending a lot of time together both on line and dojng some really kewl stuff...oh note for you that are not up todate...ed is this really awesome guy i mett like 4 months ago and things have sort of grwon from there...every one up to speed now?.......good
ok with all the time ed and i have been together i have come to realize that the fire works are just not there for me. he is truly one sweet and caring guy but there is just some thing missing, and i'll be diped in shit if i can tell you what it is.
so with that said i dont know what to do......oh go ahead and laugh about it i have....lol the guy that wants nothing more than to have some one to love and care for get just that and it just dont feel right. both he and i have been through our onw stuff and we each have had our own issuse to deal with and i can honestly say that i love him a lot but not as much as i have for other guys in my past.
so is it me am i looking for something to much?
is it that Ed is not the ONE for me?
questions.....comments.......loving kick in my ass (or head) all greatly appericated here cause i need an out side look at this cause i think i am too close to make an objective opinion.
HELP me out brothers and sisters
peace
tim...of USA
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Love is not a thing to put under a microscope and analyze. If you do look at it too closely you will loose every time because love is so inexplicably illogical.
Close your eyes and grab for it. Hold on tight because love doesn't happen as often as you would like to think.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that love really doesn't happen that often, like Marc said.
Marc's also right in saying that you can't overanalyze love...I had a girlfriend (yes, I said the g-word!) who always questioned why I liked her...like, she couldn't believe it. I bought her a teddy bear once, and I gave it to her, and she looked at me and said, "Why?" Needless to say, it made the relationship sour...
But then again, she was the first one I came out to and we're really great friends...but that's besides the point.
I think Marc's right, though. You just said you loved him, so what's the problem? And perhaps if this feeling continues, maybe you should tell Ed? I wouldn't end the relationship though, not if you love him and vice versa.
This probably isn't a lot of help, I know. I'm a newbie at these types of things, Timmer. 
-Tom 
17 in 8 days! Whoo!
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Instead of looking at what isn't in your relationship, look at what IS. You said he's a sweet, caring guy. You love him. You seem to enjoy his companionship and friendship. There are probably other things I've missed.
Fireworks aren't everything they are cracked up to be. In my experience, the relationships with all the fireworks were the ones that burned out the quickest. I never experienced fireworks with my wife. I married her because I fell in love with her and she is an excellent companion. I simply enjoy her company.
Your relationship may not live up to what you believe is ideal, but that's ok. Look at what is there and ask yourself if it's enough. And remember that things can grow better with time.
Think good thoughts,
e
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I can really relate with e. I still wonder if I was ever "in love" with my wife - that is, head over heels, infatuated.
There was lust - for her or just undirected I don't know - and love, there is now love. I don't know. The "in love" deal fizzles out pretty quick anyway, right? If that's all you have - and I know some couples like that, nothing really in common - it may not last.
I don't see any reason to "abort" a relationship because there isn't "magic". I also know one guy, off the top of my head, who took years to really fall "in love" with his partner and it became as deep and true and permanent as it can become.
Keep talking - to us and your friend. A good friend is great. A good snuggler is great. May as well see where it goes and enjoy the company on your journey - just take it slow and easy? Well, that's my ignorant 2-cents worth!
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Everyones said most of what I would have so I wont repeat that, just endorse Marc's comments and others.
What I will say is from my experience there are good times and bad times. Sometimes I can't get him out of my head (like now) and on rare occasions I've found myself not feeling that and over-analysing and worrying about it. What I can tell you is the longer my current relationship goes on, the stronger it gets. We actually had a 3 week "split up" before christmas ... and after that its really made us appreciate each other more.
Not suggesting you break up - quite the opposite : stick with it. Feangol say "a relationship is like a garden - work at it and it will blossom. Take time out to smell the flowers, and you'll want to work at it some more."
Thought about putting about "sowing seeds" in there but it was just getting too smutty.
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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well i am NOt going to dump Ed and i am trying to stop thinking what is wrong. its not like its a big deal but i cant help my self at times i like to know the solutions to problems even befor the problem is real...i know i am stupid like that....so shoot me...lol
anywasy The Ed Man and The Tim Dude are still a hot item and if all goes well and i dont destory my happy time we will be happy together for a long long time.
oh and a note here ....i dont know if any of you are aware of this little issue that ed and i have but ed is 19 soon to be 20 and i am 39 soon to be 40....20 years between us and for what its worth neither he or i see a problem with it but we both know that we are going to have to deal with people who will think that i am his sugar daddy or some other silly shit.
ok thanks again
peace
tim...of USA
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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And as long as it is within the law..... Age difference does not mean a single thing.
Have fun..... YYYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYY
Marc
Oh, and by the way..... there is 15 years between Kevy and myself,,,,, I speak from experience.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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kewl thanks marc
tim..of USA
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Come on, I mean, Rene's almost old enough to be her grandfather! He's what, 70? She's 36 or 37, I think...
And if you wanna talk about sugar daddy, they met when she was just the wee age of 12! Now THERE'S a sugar daddy! (Of course, nothing happened until she was in her 20s...) 
And, as I make another musical reference, "All You Need Is Love". Honestly. It doesn't matter how old you are, just as long as the love is there. No has no bounderies or requirements, so age shouldn't be an issue? Perhaps that was what was weighing on your mind?
Here's hoping your heart goes on...
-Tom
The unembarrased Celine fan who's turning 17 in 7 days!
(And here's hoping this doesn't get posted 3 times like last time... )
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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... Happy birthday!! WaaaHoooo!!!
Think good thoughts,
e
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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With the age difference once you are both consenting adults. And who cares what others think. If you're happy, you're happy. Just about every couple is going to have to deal with someone who thinks they shouldn't be together for whatever reason. My wife and I have to put up with the racists who think a white man should only marry a white (She is Filipina). Not to mention a comment I overheard by a person who wondered if she was a mail order bride. My own mother asked me if she was a US citizen. She never actually said it, but the implication was that she was only marrying me to stay in this country. It bothered me at first, now I just ignore it.
Think good thoughts,
e
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I'm really glad and happy for you guys.
I think David from HK and his partner Man are about 40 and 20 also. I'm sure there will be some small challenges along the way due to the age difference - he may grow or change faster than you but I'm sure you're both aware of the obvious. I know, too, that there are certainly plenty of people half my age who have lived a lot more life and gained more experience in different things than I! Too, it sounds like you have some similar history.
Being happy and taking care of each other is the important thing, of course.
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Thanks, Trevor, for subtracting from our ages! Man would be tickled pink! Actually, I'm 50 (51 in 32 days...a la Tom, only older hehehe) and Man is 32.
But when we met 10 years ago, those were pretty much the correct ages.
Compatability is entirely the point, never the age. Everybody is right about not letting "ageists" get you down. They can usually be ignored or put in their place.
Being Asian, Man and I also get racist remarks as well. And being Thai, people have sometimes assumed that he was a "bar boy" and that the relationship was therefore commercial, which was much more infuriating to both of us than just the age thing.
On the lighter side, this past week somebody wondered aloud in our hearing if Man was a bar boy, and he giggled, pleased that somebody would think he was that young these days!
The point is that many people will project their prejudices onto a gay couple in any number of ways. Sometimes just being successfully together despite the odds against us is a political act, so to speak.
Bravo to both of you!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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