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I haven't posted in a while, partly because I am avoiding controversial threads, partly because I have just spent a wonderful week with my Man in Thailand, and partly because I have been doing some heavy thinking about life's choices (on the occasion of my 51st birthday, which was yesterday..it's a bit weird to be starting my second half-century...)
Feedback, please, from any and all:
Staying in Hong Kong means: secure salary, great benefits, saving for retirement, and interesting work. But the quality of life sucks much of the time, and I am far from my partner.
Returning to Thailand would mean: no safety net (no salary or benefits, and entirely self-employed), interesting work, terrific quality of life (altho frugal!) much of the time, and being with my life partner full-time.
There are pro's and con's in each situation. Life's always a balancing act, and there aren't any guarantees, are there?
What would YOU do, folks?
Thanks and have a nice day!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I think it is impossible for anyone to really say what they would do, especially not doing the depth of the situation. Trying to give an informed opinion while knowing little of the circumstances is futile. It is a decision that you can only really make yourself and when that decision is made, hopefully you will be able to justify why you made it to yourself, too. At the end of the day, if you have made the right decision, you will know.
Essentially, though, the only advice is that you look at what you want in life. What are your goals? What do you seek to achieve? What can you realistically achieve? What goals are more rewarding at the end of the day? If you make a certain choice, what regrets will you have on your deathbed? There will always be regrets, but you need to try and work out if the benefits outweigh them. Also, think outside the square, you're giving yourself two options, there are millions more! Even if the two options you are presenting ARE the ones you feel best about, still consider other possibilities, you may realise an alternative you never even really considered.
Well, that's my advice, take it or leave it as you see fit. I hope it can be of some help. If I can impart of my 18 short years of learning to others and it is of assistance, then it is worthwhile.
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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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A belated Happy Birthday!
I had read in an earlier thread that it was imminent, and I should have perhaps made note of it, sending you more timely well-wishes.
In an attempt to provide some insight into your dilema, I'm able to advise that I have been "Self-employed" for the better part of my life, in one fashion or another.
As a youth, I made buckets of money, most of which was largely squandered in my early middle-years through a variety of unusual business enterprises.
Now in my early 50's, I continue to be my own boss, and would never consider anything else; but my having remained so, was dictated by the needs of my then emerging family, coupled with the anthema I felt regarding being tied to someone else's apron strings. Stated simply, I don't like to work, and I like having two-months out of every three entirely to myself - a circumstance afforded me by the very nature of the work that I do do.
Whilst I come from a somewhat privileged background, I've never had any of the money that originally went with it, so I do know about it's value, and it's effects in not having any as well.
You have to consider your present, as well as any future needs, in any decision about the nature your employment takes. I have never been greedy; nor, have I ever lusted for things others may have had that I did not - probably because of my background - and that I, in reality, never lacked for much that I wanted in the first place.
I should temper the above statement by further stating, I have never been driven to want to succeed beyond whatever my existing needs have been, and consequently have been well satisfied living within the means of my earned income, whatever that may have been in any one year or another.
In other words, "piece of mind", "job satisfaction" and "time" available to be spent servicing the needs of my children and my own amusement, have always been of higher priority to me than amassing wealth.
As is pointed out in the first response to your thread, you do have more than just the two options you outline, although those you do detail have variables that you have failed to consider in your paradym. As suggested, think outside the box.
David, whether to be a "Salary-man" or to be a "Fee-for-service Entrepeneur" should always be a shared choice. Discuss this fully with Man, and together establish just what your priorities should be, and move forward from there.
In closing, let me add, I've been told to "go" if I that is my desire, or to remain and *post*, if that too is my wish.
I guess David, in responding to you, you could say I have chosen to remain.
Warren C. E. Austin
Toronto, Canada
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I'd be where my heart is 
smith
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Hi David. I am glad you had a wonderful visit to Thailand. I am sure Man appreciated it also.
I reinterate what I told you before. The decision ultimately is for you to make, with a liberal sprinkling of input from your lifemate. But I would follow my heart, since I have not found that financial security (and probably never will unless I hit the lottery) and do not know how I would act if I did. So my choice is always the heart and happiness.
Happy belated birthday, Old Man! Another couple of years and you will catch me, hehe.
Hugs, Charlie
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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Happy birthday, David!
I, who usually have advice for everybody (and it is mostly crap!) would not dare to advise you here. Unlike others, my own thoughts would probably be in the direction of security because age comes into play here and the others are young enough not to have to worry about it. Also, you do have a modicum of happiness in your present situation. One very important piece of information that you did not give us: What does Man say about all this?
Warren, I am very happy that you have decided to stay.
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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On both counts - Happy birthday! And what about Man - I thought he was in college? I had almost 2 years of unemployment, only recently ended, and although money was tight, it was great being able to do what I wanted with my family and also had some time for learning a bit about myself (which is why I'm here, incidentally!) My point is, it might be nice not always running. Would you be able to "go back" if it didn't work out well?
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Man's immediate comment when I asked him about this dilemma was, "I'll be better able to take care of you when you come home. So come home."
And of course, that means the decision is pretty much made.
Yes, Man is in University, by the way. At age 32. He's in a program where all the classes are on week-ends, designed for working people. And he won't mind working, he just won't ever be a big earner, what with Thailand being a "developing country". A college grad working in a business office starts at about US$250 per month.
But luckily, expenses are also much cheaper.
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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I was gonna say like smith, but I'm such a sentimental person (not to mention, a total failure when it comes to education, work, everything), so I deciced my opinion didn't really count. After all, practical considerations do have to weigh heavier than emotions sometimes, even though we might not like it.
However, I just can't imagine how you can stay away from your hottie Man, so I'm glad you've decided not to!
Anyway, when will you send me that thing you promised to?
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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Hi David,
have not read the other posts, and I am short for time, but I only have one thing to say (well actually two).
What is money if you are not happy. Now some need material items to give them happiness, and I am not sure if you are one of them. If not, then you may already know the answer. Regardless, health is also important for people getting older, and you should at least consider what would happen if your health fails.
The major concern that I would have (if I were you), is if your "man" in Thailand will be the same if you live their permenently. Sometimes frankness is the best, and what I am trying to say is "Is he faithful when you are gone". I am not implying in anyway that he is not. Anyway, if he isn't, then you imay arrive to a different world than you expected, as he way still wish to carry on with his hobby.
In any event, I wish you much strength in such a hard decision. If life were only perfect!
Best regards,
Darren
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David
Have you thought about moving your 'man' from Thailand to Hong Kong? Instead of your moving? Just a suggestion.
Billy
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Re: Choices 
What Would I Do? 
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Hi David! 
