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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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I noticed my brother's Last Will and Testament as I was organizing yesterday and realized I may need to talk to him, so I'm asking for advice.
My wife and I are godparents of his children. He and his wife are probably a bit more conservative than I and I don't honestly know what his views on homosexuality are, although he was plenty promiscuous in college before becoming a Christian!
Although I've always had a "live and let live, let God sort it out" and "equal rights for all" attitude, since I've admitted my "orientation" to myself I'm probably more "gay rights"-oriented - although certainly no political activist - and am probably more likely to take a male lover than female in the event, God forbid, anything happen to my wife, who is not as healthy as I am.
So, should I tell my brother that in my heart I am gay, although it will probably never change my "lifestyle", especially in the next 10 years before his children become adults?
Part of me wants to "come out" if and when necessary on my own terms, especially considering it isn't really relevant to most of my actions, but part of me wants to be honest so his decision is an "informed" one.
And of course, both he and his wife, in excellent health, would have to die in order for "godparent" to be meaningful anyway.
I guess this sortof underscores the fact that none of us truly knows what's in another's heart unless we have an extremely close, honest relationship.
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I would say only tell him for your own reasons and on your terms. Godparent is not the same as guardian, and I would not even consider it necessary to tel him if you were a formal legal "guardian designate"
You were asked to be a godparent for al the right reasons. I see nothing to alter that view today
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... Since I came out to my wife I've had an almost irresistible urge to come out to the world at large, but with my wife's encouragement I HAVE resisted. She makes the point that much of what I do with my life is for the benefit of others (that's probably over-generous, but she IS my wife!) and the influence I exert would be severely diminished if I were known to be gay.
It's sad - but true - that she is correct. So, Trevor, if you know in your heart that you would always do your best for your godchildren, let your heart rule your head, and keep your mouth shut!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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No Message Body
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Thanks, guys - appreciate it. Yeah, Cossie - I can really relate but I DO want to be involved in my kids' and their friends' lives (as a father - get your mind outta the gutter heh heh) and I know that would be limited and even cause them harrassment if I was too public. I know my bro would be discreet even if he objected, but I'm swayed that there's really no need.
So, David, Man has his own tax-free island now?
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Tax-free Isles of my Man in Thailand would be SOOO cool...but unfortunately, I have to pay taxes in TWO countries...as if the US tax alone wouldn't choke a horse...
But at least the taxes in Hong Kong are a flat 15% of gross...easy to figure out, not as bad as other countries, for sure!!!
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Small ethical question 
Much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Tim ... 
Re: Makes that 3! Don't tell, no need... 
