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Jack Rowan
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Getting started |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 16
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Hi everyone:
I thought it might be a good idea if I made a contribution to the
discussion here. I'm a bit nervous about doing this, bacause after
all, it isn't my site, and nor am I one of the regulars here; and I'm
not familiar with your conventions or the way you work. But I thought
perhaps I could give you folks something to chew on, at least.
Tim asked me if he could host the story. I was flattered, because
it's a notable site and there's a lot of good stuff there. I was also
rather surprised, and asked Tim to be sure he really wanted to do
this, because I anticipated that some people wouldn't like it, and he
might catch some flack, flack of the kind I'm already familiar with,
you may be sure. Clearly I didn't know my man  (I suppose I still
don't very well, but I'm learning And sure enough, it's happened,
although it's a tribute to you that it's a pretty well-mannered
discussion compared to some I've met
I still don't want to express a strong opinion about whether the story
should be on his site. Partly this is because of what I said above:
I'm not a regular there. More importantly it's because it's Tim's
site; he's put it together to address certain issues, to plough a
number of furrows, and some of them are important to him and to other
people and to the world at large. He has a variety of perspectives,
some of them quite longterm and distant ones. I'm reluctant to
second-guess him, and I'm prepared to take him on trust, to be frank,
as he works these things out.
However, I would like to talk a bit about the story. I suppose in
some ways this isn't directly relevant to the discussion that you've
been having here. But, well, Tim and David (in the story) are dear to
me; if you've written a story for yourself you'll understand, and I
feel a need to speak for them. How (or if) you apply what I say to
the point of your discussion is up to you, I guess.
Is it legitimate to write a story about a relationship between an
adult and a young teenager, showing it in a positive light? Because,
as I said in the notes at the end of the story, such relationships
cannot be condoned. I actually believe that. They can't be condoned,
because they're dangerous to the teenager. That's the only reason.
Not because *in themselves* they make people feel queasy, or because
*in itself* the sex is wrong, but because they usually cause harm. But
that doesn't mean that they *always* cause harm; it's possible to
think of cases when they don't. We rightly have laws prohibiting
people from putting kids in the front passenger seats of cars, because
it can harm them. But that doesn't mean it will always. It is
possible to imagine situations in which an adult-teen relationship is
not harmful, and that is what the story tries to do.
In my opinion, that is legitimate. I wouldn't write a story showing
in a positive light a child being harmed. That would be horrible.
The story I have written is a love story. It's deliberately a love
story on the edge, a story which aims to show love in an edgy
situation, but a genuine love. It's edgy because of the age
difference, and because of the SM and its dominant/submissive
character. That's intentional. The story was originally aimed
exactly to counter the host of stories around (not in this neck of the
woods, but elsewhere) depicting positively things which are
utterly abusive and destructive, events filled with torment and hate
and fear, awful stories.
Someone said they couldn't believe that love can result from
intentionally induced physical pain. But that isn't what the story
depicts. It shows (or tries to show, I'm not claiming Great Writer
status here love which *expresses itself* partly through sexual
acts, of which SM practices are some. The SM is not the love, nor does
it cause the love; it expresses the love. And yes, like any kind of
sex, it has the potential for intimacy and for glory. That may be
hard for people to understand if they aren't wired that way, but it's
the truth. There are people out there who want that sort of thing,
including young people. When I was a teenager, they included me. In
the story it's Tim (the boy) I identify with, not David, even though
David tells the story. If I had had the chance when I was a teenager,
I'd have been Tim like a shot.
The other thing the story is about is power. It shows a teenager who
is profoundly submissive in character, as I was, and how once again he
finds a relationship which accommodates that in a loving way. It
shows how such a relationship does not mean that the submissive has to
become a nothing, a cipher, as so many of the awful stories I
mentioned above show. Because Tim is not a cipher; he's a vigorous
do-er who knows what he wants, who can defend himself when attacked,
who understands and manipulates people. He doesn't want to be
destroyed or broken, but to be steered, and that's what David offers
him. But the brake is *always* in Tim's hand. The story is about how
they work this out.
The story offers an ideal, of course. I don't apologise for that, and
indeed Tim's site (our host's site, I mean) is full of idealised
stories, and it's none the worse for that. I don't know what the
story would say to a submissive teenager reading it; the people here
have far more experience in that sort of thing than I do. I know what
I *hope* it would say, namely: Do not accept anything less than this;
this is what you are worth.
And to a young dominant: This, and no less, is what is expected of
you.
SM can be dangerous. There are abusive personalities, deadly
personalities around. (There are also many admirable and caring ones,
people who have really *thought* about the ethics of what they do.)
But if experience tells us anything it's that some kids will not be
put off by any danger once the hormones are buzzing. And some kids
want this stuff. If my story shows the way it *should* be, and raises
alarms when *isn't*, I won't be too disappointed.
I guess that's it. Over to you...
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