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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Story of Tim (again)
Story of Tim (again)  [message #345] Fri, 11 January 2002 00:02 Go to previous message
Jack Rowan is currently offline  Jack Rowan

Getting started

Registered: January 1970
Messages: 16



Hi everyone:



I thought it might be a good idea if I made a contribution to the

discussion here. I'm a bit nervous about doing this, bacause after

all, it isn't my site, and nor am I one of the regulars here; and I'm

not familiar with your conventions or the way you work. But I thought

perhaps I could give you folks something to chew on, at least.



Tim asked me if he could host the story. I was flattered, because

it's a notable site and there's a lot of good stuff there. I was also

rather surprised, and asked Tim to be sure he really wanted to do

this, because I anticipated that some people wouldn't like it, and he

might catch some flack, flack of the kind I'm already familiar with,

you may be sure. Clearly I didn't know my man Smile (I suppose I still

don't very well, but I'm learning Smile And sure enough, it's happened,

although it's a tribute to you that it's a pretty well-mannered

discussion compared to some I've met Smile



I still don't want to express a strong opinion about whether the story

should be on his site. Partly this is because of what I said above:

I'm not a regular there. More importantly it's because it's Tim's

site; he's put it together to address certain issues, to plough a

number of furrows, and some of them are important to him and to other

people and to the world at large. He has a variety of perspectives,

some of them quite longterm and distant ones. I'm reluctant to

second-guess him, and I'm prepared to take him on trust, to be frank,

as he works these things out.



However, I would like to talk a bit about the story. I suppose in

some ways this isn't directly relevant to the discussion that you've

been having here. But, well, Tim and David (in the story) are dear to

me; if you've written a story for yourself you'll understand, and I

feel a need to speak for them. How (or if) you apply what I say to

the point of your discussion is up to you, I guess.



Is it legitimate to write a story about a relationship between an

adult and a young teenager, showing it in a positive light? Because,

as I said in the notes at the end of the story, such relationships

cannot be condoned. I actually believe that. They can't be condoned,

because they're dangerous to the teenager. That's the only reason.

Not because *in themselves* they make people feel queasy, or because

*in itself* the sex is wrong, but because they usually cause harm. But

that doesn't mean that they *always* cause harm; it's possible to

think of cases when they don't. We rightly have laws prohibiting

people from putting kids in the front passenger seats of cars, because

it can harm them. But that doesn't mean it will always. It is

possible to imagine situations in which an adult-teen relationship is

not harmful, and that is what the story tries to do.



In my opinion, that is legitimate. I wouldn't write a story showing

in a positive light a child being harmed. That would be horrible.



The story I have written is a love story. It's deliberately a love

story on the edge, a story which aims to show love in an edgy

situation, but a genuine love. It's edgy because of the age

difference, and because of the SM and its dominant/submissive

character. That's intentional. The story was originally aimed

exactly to counter the host of stories around (not in this neck of the

woods, but elsewhere) depicting positively things which are

utterly abusive and destructive, events filled with torment and hate

and fear, awful stories.



Someone said they couldn't believe that love can result from

intentionally induced physical pain. But that isn't what the story

depicts. It shows (or tries to show, I'm not claiming Great Writer

status here Smile love which *expresses itself* partly through sexual

acts, of which SM practices are some. The SM is not the love, nor does

it cause the love; it expresses the love. And yes, like any kind of

sex, it has the potential for intimacy and for glory. That may be

hard for people to understand if they aren't wired that way, but it's

the truth. There are people out there who want that sort of thing,

including young people. When I was a teenager, they included me. In

the story it's Tim (the boy) I identify with, not David, even though

David tells the story. If I had had the chance when I was a teenager,

I'd have been Tim like a shot.



The other thing the story is about is power. It shows a teenager who

is profoundly submissive in character, as I was, and how once again he

finds a relationship which accommodates that in a loving way. It

shows how such a relationship does not mean that the submissive has to

become a nothing, a cipher, as so many of the awful stories I

mentioned above show. Because Tim is not a cipher; he's a vigorous

do-er who knows what he wants, who can defend himself when attacked,

who understands and manipulates people. He doesn't want to be

destroyed or broken, but to be steered, and that's what David offers

him. But the brake is *always* in Tim's hand. The story is about how

they work this out.



The story offers an ideal, of course. I don't apologise for that, and

indeed Tim's site (our host's site, I mean) is full of idealised

stories, and it's none the worse for that. I don't know what the

story would say to a submissive teenager reading it; the people here

have far more experience in that sort of thing than I do. I know what

I *hope* it would say, namely: Do not accept anything less than this;

this is what you are worth.



And to a young dominant: This, and no less, is what is expected of

you.



SM can be dangerous. There are abusive personalities, deadly

personalities around. (There are also many admirable and caring ones,

people who have really *thought* about the ethics of what they do.)

But if experience tells us anything it's that some kids will not be

put off by any danger once the hormones are buzzing. And some kids

want this stuff. If my story shows the way it *should* be, and raises

alarms when *isn't*, I won't be too disappointed.



I guess that's it. Over to you...
 
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