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This is where I will put up various bits and pieces of myself for display for anyone brave enough to look. I will try to keep it all in one thread, for the sake of neatness and tidyness. I will not stop anyone from replying, but I think of this thread as mainly my playground, or battlefield as it may be...
I may seem sociable enough. I have written more posts on this board than I expected in the short while since I joined. I have even enjoyed it.
However, I feel like a total sham. I cannot, dare not reveal the full extent of my anguish for fear of turning everyone away from me; there is so much of it and even myself am slowly suffocating, how horrible would it not be for someone else to witness?
Everyone has their own troubles to contend with, how can I expect anyone to be willing, wanting to listen to mine? I cannot. So I will hide it all here.
This is the dark place that is me, it is where I exist. All hope abandon, ye who enter here, and all that. (Cue Ominous Organ Music)
My 'thorny pieces' that I write, I do not change them or edit them after they have been signed and dated. They bubble up to the surface much the way they want to, their shape and form depending on my current mood. They may be open for interpretation in several different ways. Readers beware.
This is the first one I wrote:
Grey:
I walk in a world of darkness, it is desolate and dreary. Other people, like shadows in the night, pass me by as I pass them. I am lost in a milling throng of strangers and nobody knows who I am.
Here and there a highlight, a flash of beauty like the sun's rays breaking through heavy clouded skies, glittering in a puddle after a rainstorm. I want to touch...
...But I can't. It is not allowed.
My heart is bleeding, my soul on fire. But not for long, I think. Each beat slower now than the one before, the flames, faltering...
I do not wish to remain here in this place, I am lonely and frightened. But here I am.
-Lenny,
Jan. 30, 2002, 5:19 A.M.
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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The dark place that is me 
