|
|
>> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
>> kids in tow and
>> asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
>> and a blow job?"
>> Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX
_________________________
>> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
>> golf balls. I was
>> unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
>> After browsing for
>> several minutes, I was approached by one of the
>> good-looking gentlemen who
>> works
>> at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
>> thinking, I looked
>> at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
>> balls."
>> Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
>>
>> Nuts about You
>_____________________________
>> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
>> store that sold a
>> variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display
>> case, the boy behind the
>> counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
>> I'm just looking at
>> your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
>> the boy grinned,
>> and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
>> my sister has never let
>> me forget.
>> Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
_______________________
>> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
>> decided to release
>> some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able
>> to grab hold of her
>> after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
>> other patrons. I
>> told her that if she did not start behaving "right
>> now" she would be
>> punished.
>> To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
>> voice just as
>> threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
>> will tell Grandma that I
>> saw
>> you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
>> The silence was deafening after this enlightening
>> exchange. Even the
>> tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up
>> the last of my
>> dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter
>> in tow. The last thing I
>> heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
>> laughter.
>> Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia
>____________________________
>> One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment"
>> stories I've come upon in
>> a long time was about a lady who picked up several
>> items at a discount
>> store. When she finally got up to the checker, she
>> learned that one of
>> her items had no price tag. Imagine her
>> embarrassment when the checker got
>> on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
>> hear, "PRICE CHECK ON
>> LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad
>> enough, but somebody
>> at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
>> the word "Tampax" for
>> "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice
>> boomed back over the
>> intercom.
>> "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR
>> THE KIND
>> YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
>>
>> Mom's Advice
>__________________
>> A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of
>> the class was squirming
>> around,
>> scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She
>> went back to find out
>> what was
>> going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered
>> that he had just recently
>> been
>> circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told
>> him to go down to the
>> principal's
>> office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what
>> he should do about it.
>> He did it
>> and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a
>> commotion at the back of
>> the room.
>> She went back to investigate only to find him
>> sitting at his desk with his
>> penis hanging
>> out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she
>> screamed. "I did," he
>> said, "And she
>> told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
>> she'd come and pick me up
>> from school."
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
