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I REALLY had trouble falling asleep last night.
Not because I didn't feel tired. Quite the opposite. I was having the most wonderful semi-dream. You know, the kind where you're not quite sleeping, but absolutely not awake either, and where you almost can decide yourself what you're doing in that dream (or that's how it feels at least). Or am I the only one that has this kind of dreams?
Well anyway, I was having such a dream, and it was a sex dream. I was sooo fucking horny I can't believe it, and when I awoke I had this stupid grin on my face, and I tried to sleep again and I went right back into the same dream which awoke me again. AAARGH!  And there went an hour of my night out of which I got zero rest, became terribly sexually excited which impaired my ability to get some REAL sleep, and just plain regretted ever having that dream/waking up from it. Not really sure which of the two is more true, really.
That's so frustrating! What would I not give for just ONE such moment in real life... GGNNNHHHH...
Haven't had real sex since - don't laugh please, coz it aint funny - 1993. And it wasn't even satisfying either...
For me, that is.
I kind of got picked up you could say. Older guy than me (but not old), tall, VERY well-hung. Lean and a more than OK body, but not that good-looking.
HE came like a volcano, but I just felt completely unsatisfied (which he never noticed), and I had to go home with a set of balls that were aching like you would not believe. Argh. He called twice (I'd given him my number, stupid me) and wanted to meet again for more, I gave excuses. I suppose I could feel some pride about apparantly being great in bed, but it doesn't help much.
Goes to prove that size really ISN'T everything. So I guess I could see the whole episode as a successful empiric scientific experiment or something...
Right now I'm just feeling that sex is greatly over-exaggerated. I WANT it alright, but I wonder if it's all its cracked up to be. It only really works for me in my dreams. Even "pleasure by the hand" gives me zero. Never managed to give myself an orgasm that way, and getting jacked off by someone else also gives very little. Yes, things happen inside me and all that, but it's no big fireworks or anything. Bleh. Over-rated. 
Next topic:
Today I weighed myself again. 91.5 kilos in training clothes. It's going rather well, I think. My biking's helping, I did the 24-minute program on level seven instead of six, and I managed it just fine. Pulse never went above 166bpm or so, which proves that my body's starting to shape up internally too. Tomorrow I'll step up the twelve and second six minute programs to level eight and see if I can handle that (I can adjust in real-time if neccessary). Tuesday will be my first regular spinning class.
Positive side-note:
I also heard my first nightingale of the year today. They're so beautiful you just want to stop and listen forever and ever; their song is different every time. It was right in the heart of the city, in a part which is very lightly trafficked on saturday evenings, and it happened a little after six or so, and it was so beautiful.
And yes, Tim. I'll speak of my childhood too some day, but not right now.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Just talking... (About myself.)
By: lenny on Sat, 16 March 2002 21:33 |
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Yes.... Sex IS all it's cracked up to be..... Definately :-)
By: marc on Sat, 16 March 2002 22:29 |
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Dammit, I wish you hadn't said that. Better to NOT know what you're
By: lenny on Sat, 16 March 2002 23:44 |
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In my very limited experience
By: trevor on Sun, 17 March 2002 07:03 |
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Woke up less than an hour ago, already having a shitty day.
By: lenny on Sun, 17 March 2002 09:47 |
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Re: Woke up less than an hour ago, already having a shitty day.
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I know how you feel..... Two years ago I was you.....
By: marc on Sun, 17 March 2002 22:13 |
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By the way
By: tim on Sun, 17 March 2002 23:03 |
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Send me an email if you'd like... I don't use ICQ or AIM (And thanks!)
By: lenny on Mon, 18 March 2002 00:00 |
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A brother in spirit
By: Brandon on Mon, 18 March 2002 10:51 |
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Re: A brother in spirit
By: lenny on Mon, 18 March 2002 14:06 |
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Double Frustration - in a not entirely bad way. And a decision...
By: lenny on Tue, 19 March 2002 04:31 |
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Re: Double Frustration - in a not entirely bad way. And a decision...
By: trevor on Tue, 19 March 2002 04:43 |
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Some more frustration...
By: lenny on Tue, 19 March 2002 10:03 |
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I have a knee injury
By: tim on Wed, 20 March 2002 09:41 |
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It seems I do not, fortunately... Probably just strained it a little.
By: lenny on Wed, 20 March 2002 10:10 |
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Re: I only read Marc's reply but I'm assuming that what he said had
By: Guest on Tue, 26 March 2002 10:20 |
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Re: LOL! Wrong age . I'm 20 NOW! hahaha
By: Guest on Tue, 26 March 2002 10:26 |
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